Apple double-pinky swearing that they'll never, unh-uh, not ever unlock your iPhone
That's not what they said - they said the've altered it so they CANNOT unlock your iPhone, even if they want to.
Given how the technology works, that is a quite reasonable assertion. iOS devices have had full device encryption for some time, without that key you have nothing.
All this "canary" bullshit begs the question why, if Apple really cared one little bit about their customers, don't they just come out and say what they have to say.
That just shows a misunderstanding of what companies are legally ALLOWED to say. Once you get the order you CANNOT talk about it, thus the device of the canary.