You will need a new Nokia with 10,000 buttons on it to use all the crap MS office has (that 99.9% of people don't use).

Let alone 16GB of memory for a 'hello darling, I will home soon' txt msg.

And also, 99% of people that have home computers (Joe Bloggs, John Doe et al) are all of a sudden insanely stupid when in front of a computer, so believe what 'the computer told them'.

That is at least ONE thing MS got right.

...only 12 people can hear you screaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm 'who's been eating MY sandwiches'

...Schroeder's cat. If it works, you don't know it, but if it doesn't you have to try again until you get it to work (if you can tell that it worked anyway). Then the pipe comes out to stop my mind frying.

OURNALIST: No one would have believed, in the last years of the
nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds
of space.

No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope
studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered
the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds
immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and
surely, they drew their plans against us.

At midnight on the twelfth of August, a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars
and sped towards Earth. Across two hundred million miles of void, invisibly hurtling
towards us, came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth.
As I watched, there was another jet of gas. It was another missile, starting on its way.

And that's how it was for the next ten nights. A flare, spurting out from Mars - bright
green, drawing a green mist behind it - a beautiful, but somehow disturbing sight. Ogilvy,
the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger. He was convinced there could be no
living thing on that remote, forbidding planet.

EULA!

No it isn't. It is England.

I doubt anybody outside England and under 40 years old gets that joke - and/but to be honest, I don't even Jim could fix MS crap.