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Comment Codename? (Score 3, Funny) 65

> and seems to contain a mixed bag of predetermined threats made to goad interrogation subjects into spilling their secrets

"Now, Mr. Jones, if you do not tell me what we want to know, you may well have the pleasure of finding out why the first four letters of my code name is 'Anal'."

Comment Re:Agreed? (Score 1) 124

Actually I think damages were 40000d6, for which a final roll of $125000 is slightly below statistical expectation. In order to count the sheer number of dice, a roller rink had to temporarily be rented out as bean counters dumped the entire truckload of all 40K dice.

That's so many six sided dice, WotC has announced plans to buy out Chessex.

In other litigation news, GW is suing WotC for the usage of the term, "40K dice".

Hardware Hacking

How To Play Poker With Your Rock Band Guitar 121

An anonymous reader writes 'Sean Lind over at PokerListings has written a really interesting piece on how to configure Rock Band (or Guitar Hero) instruments to use them as controllers for playing online poker. The instructions given in his how-to could really be used to configure the instruments for any game.' Or how about a genuine chording keyboard?

Senator Applauds Pirate Bay Trial, Chides Canada 526

eldavojohn writes "Republican Senator Orrin Hatch spoke Tuesday at the World Copyright Summit in Washington DC and hailed the Pirate Bay guilty verdict as an important victory. He expressed severe disappointment in Canada for showing up on our watch list for piracy next to China and Russia. Senator Hatch also said, 'In fact, one study reports that each year, copyright piracy from motion pictures, sound recordings, business and entertainment software, and video games costs the US economy $58 billion in total output, costs American workers 373,375 jobs and $16.3 billion in earnings, and costs federal, state, and local governments $2.6 billion in tax revenue. During this time of economic turmoil, we must ensure that all copyrighted works, both here and abroad, are protected from online theft and traditional physical piracy. After all, US copyright-based industries continue to be one of America's largest and fastest-growing economic sectors.' GamePolitics notes that for his 2006 campaign, Hatch was rented for $7,000 by the RIAA and also got on his knees for $12,640 from the MPAA."

Comment Re:I have to wonder (Score 1) 369

Maybe it's the caliber of the government IT workers...

Military Official: Davis, I need you to wipe every hard drive in this container.

Minimum Wage IT Contractor: Okay. [Opens a pack of lemon-scented WetNaps and starts wiping the outside of the hard drives.] Hard drives wiped, sir.

Officer: Then I need you to write "10101010" repeatedly on them, until there's no more space!

MWITC: Okay. [Pulls out Sharpie and draws alternating dashes and circles on the enclosure until there's no more place to put any.] Done, sir.

Officer: Good. Sign off on this ticket, and we're ready to liquidate them on Ebay!


Cutting Steel With Flaming Bacon Weapons Screenshot-sm 73

Ed Pegg writes "Theo Gray demonstrates the Bacon Lance, a flaming meatsword that can cut through steel. Yes, with some ordinary bacon, and some pure oxygen, it's possible to cut through security doors. Form the article, 'I recently committed myself to the goal, before the weekend was out, of creating a device entirely from bacon and using it to cut a steel pan in half. My initial attempts were failures, but I knew success was within reach when I was able to ignite and melt the pan using seven beef sticks and a cucumber.' This comes out right after his profusely illustrated book of science experiments, Mad Science."

Comment Re:"limited mass production" (Score 4, Funny) 128

> far stronger than I need to be for day to day life as an IT professional!

Your work environment will adapt.

Trac ticket 14849
Reported by: Operations Manager
Owned by: Somersault
Priority: Major
Description: Hey, we just got eight full racks of blade servers downstairs. Please bring them up to the fifth floor before lunch. There's also a three-ton rack cooler that needs to be installed.

Trac ticket 14936
Reported by: Operations Manager
Owned by: Somersault
Priority: Major
Description: Our next truckload of routers is here. I need them in the NOC. This time, DO NOT bring the truck. Just the routers.

Trac ticket 15186
Reported by: Office Manager
Owned by: Somersault
Priority: Major
Description: Somersault, would you be a dear and open the jar of peanut butter in the kitchen fridge? No one else in the office can even budge it, but you with your exo-suit and all... Thanks.

Comment Network cables (Score 5, Funny) 1032

Don't get just one cat. Get more than one. Get several.

You're right - Cat 1 and Cat 2 will probably do nothing. Most people won't even think they exist. Cat 3 will do most of the work, but won't harrass rats beyond 100 meters. Cat 4 needs motivation - give it a small token, like a ring.

Cat 5 can be faster than Cat 3, but like Cat 3, speed and response begin to attenuate after 100 meters. They start dropping packets, which should promptly be buried in the litter box. In the event that rodents bite back, you should consider shielding Cat 5.

Cat 6 is extremely fast with very little latency, but inflexible and difficult to work with. I use them in my fruit pantry, where rats ate "twisted pears"

The Wright Bothers weren't the first to fly. They were just the first not to crash.