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Journal: Nosebleeds aren't supposed to be serial

Journal by SeanDuggan
I usually don't write journal entries here on account of that I already have a regular weblog, two if you include my stealth LiveJournal site for responding to webcomic LJ communities, but had a significant enough experience that I thought to reproduce it here.

It all started on Friday, around 7:30 PM or so. I was working at my computer and got a spontaneous nosebleed. That's not that uncommon for me. I used to get frequent unprovoked nosebleeds when I was a child. The frequency slacked off as I got older, but I still get about one a year. So I waited for it to stop bleeding (it was what most people would probably see as a "bad" one in that the flow was steady enough to soak through two Kleenexes despite clamping, but as aforementionned, I'm used to it) then went off to help out in building the set for the next show at the local community theater. About two hours in, my nose started up again, this time with a steady enough flow that I made my way through two cotton handkerchiefs before it stopped. Well, once is chance and twice is coincidence, but it seemed like a decent chance something in the theater led to this state, sawdust, etc. I had a minor nosebleed on getting home, but nothing major. So, I headed off to bed. Woke up at 3AM with blood about to exit my nose. This was another gusher and it got me to worrying as I was getting these nosebleeds so I drove myself down to the mergency room where they told me they see nothing wrong with my nose. Essentially they handled it as a routine "dumb person goes to the E.R. to waste our time when all that's wrong is a bloody nose," gave me a nasal decongestant to shoot up my nose when the bleeding is down to the seeping level to shrink the blood vessels. Well, I've only had three more cases since then so maybe I'm on the mend. Last night, I got through eighteen hours without a bloody nose although unfortunately the record was broken with a bloodsoaked pillow that will probably never be the same again. Fortunatly, it was the only non-washable thing that got hit this time. *grumble* It's annoying having to look at my clothing and make my decision on what to wear based upon what's appropriate for the day's activities and what I can afford to lose if it gets soaked with blood and never washes clean.

Music

Journal: Automatic Christmas Music + Doubled Speed = Creepy

Journal by SeanDuggan
I recently sequentially listened to all of the music mentioned in an earlier article while coding at work. To those unwilling to follow the link, it's computer-created music on the basis of statistical appearance of notes and sequences, kind of a Markov chain approach to music. How is it? Eh... as several people commented, it's similar to letting your three-year old bang on the keyboard or letting your cat walk along the keys. Really, it's mildly eerie just because it sounds pretty fundamentally wrong with its dissonance and bizarre timing. *wry grin* And that's not even getting into their choice of instruments like using a maracca sound for one track, which makes it sound like there's a rattlesnake closing in on you throughout the song.

Anyhow, I also tend to play my music using the 2.0 Speed Setting in WIndows Media Player because it helps keep me on my toes while coding. (Not to mention a lot of songs sound so much more funny at that speed) And, well... *shudder* Let's just say that I think I know where to get music for my survival horror game if I ever create a survival horror game.

User Journal

Journal: Moderations

Journal by SeanDuggan
^_^ I've got a +5 Funny to go with prior +5 Interesting, +5 Insightful, and +5 Informative posts (all of which I didn't think to grab URLs for, although I'm sure they're out there somewhere...) Now all I have to do is manage a +5 Troll and +5 Flamebait to have the whole set!
User Journal

Journal: Not everyone is going to like you...

Journal by SeanDuggan
I have a few friends and fans here, people whose posts I enjoyed and people who apparently like what I write. I have never had a foe, but I apparently now have two freaks. *wry grin* One of them I understand. I got on the Profanity Blacklist after that Elmer Fudd/Porky Pig post, which I probably justly deserved. ^_^ Still, given the same situation again, I'd probably still post it. It appeals to my sick sense of humor and literary imagination abilities. The other one, I have no idea... he doesn't seem to have posted in any of the same topics as me lately. Maybe I just said something that pissed him off. *wry grin* I know, I shouldn't take it personally when someone I really don't know apparently doesn't like me, but it really does. I've always been one of those people who wanted to believe that everyone likes them. And, well, I'm generally successful, so it hurts all the more when I do find someone who doesn't like me.

The subject line above relates to another incident like this. A girl I knew in college suddenly pointedly stopped talking to me. I tried to confront her in an effort to find out a) if she really was socially cutting me or if it was just my imagination and b) if so, what the problem was and how we might resolve it. She told me that I knew very well what the problem was and stormed off. Later on, she suddenly started talking to me again and that period where she apparently hated my guts wasn't mentioned again, but it really hurt at the time. After pouring my troubles out to my roommate, a good friend, he clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Sean, not everyone is going to like you." It seems like an obvious thing, but, well, until then I'd lived my life believing that I could get everyone to like me. I was always the fellow who rode through intra-friend turbulence, managing to be friends with both sides. When I play computer games involving factions, I usually manage to keep them all happy with me right up until some hard-coded event makes me choose. *sigh* Not everyone is going to like me. I know it, but I think it will still take me a long time to accept it.

Mathemeticians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes. -- Richard Hamming

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