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Submission Summary: 0 pending, 19 declined, 6 accepted (25 total, 24.00% accepted)

+ - CowboyNeal Locked In Basement For Opposing Slashdot Beta-> 23

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Slashdot's finest editor to date has been mercilessly locked in a basement filled with fuzzy dice Dice created to furnish Google's self-driving cars. Screaming, followed by sounds of frenzied masturbation, have been reported from the subterranean dungeon. "There's no way enough ejaculatory fluid is getting sprayed on our dice to make us care about this deluded protestor's opinion." a Dice executive commented earlier. Former Slashdot owner turned professional millionaire Robert Malda, expressed support: "No porn. More dice than a casino. Lame.""
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+ - Why Games Should Be In The Public Domain->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Rock, Paper, Shotgun author John Walker shook a hornet's nest by suggesting old videogames should enter the public domain during GOG's Time Machine sale. George Broussard of Duke Nukem fame took to Twitter, saying the author should be fired. In response to these comments RPS commissioned an editorial arguing why games and other media should enter the public domain much more rapidly than at present.

"I would no more steal a car than I would tolerate a company telling me that they had the exclusive rights to the idea of cars themselves." says Walker, paraphrasing a notorious anti-piracy ad. "However, there are things I’m very happy to ‘steal’, like knowledge, inspiration, or good ideas...It was until incredibly recently that amongst such things as knowledge, inspiration and good ideas were the likes of literature and music.""

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+ - Satya Nadella Tipped As Microsoft's New CEO, Gates May Leave-> 1

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Satya Modella, the present head of Microsoft's Cloud and Enterprise group, has been heavily tipped as Steve Ballmer's successor. Discussion is already erupting over Nadella's potential approach to the company should he be granted the position. Bill Gates, the co-founder and present chairman of the company, may be replaced at the same time."
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+ - Awesome Games Done Quick Raises $1,000,000->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Specializing in beating video games as rapidly as possible whilst raising money for cancer prevention, Awesome Games Done Quick just staged its most successful marathon to date with over $1,000,000 in donations. Highlights include Duke Nukem 3D (completed in 12 minutes), Super Metroid (45 minutes) and Half-Life (39 minutes). Game developers involved with the games, such as Valve's Zoid Kirsch, weighed in to add commentary."
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+ - The NSA Revelations Decoded->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "The Guardian has published a comprehensive review of the revelations derived from leaked documents published by Edward Snowden. Among the topics covered are NSA monitoring programs and techniques, the legal framework of such programs, counter-surveillance techniques, events such as the Lavabit shutdown, and prospects for reform. In the final section, some NSA documents are available for access."
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+ - Silk Road Founder Charged With Two Counts of Assassination->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Further charges have been made against Silk Road founder Ross William Ulbricht, aka 'Dread Pirate Roberts'. Yesterday saw the shutdown of Silk Road, a website Ulbricht founded which specialized in the sale of illegal items such as recreational drugs. As well as paying for a hit on a forum member, Ulbricht later requested an undercover agent murder an arrested employee of Silk Road, terming it "the right move". Upon receiving staged photos of torture and eventually the corpse, Ulbricht paid in full."
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Crime

+ - Explaining the Drop in US Crime->

Submitted by
Robotron23
Robotron23 writes "The BBC has compiled ten proposals for why crime in the USA has fallen since 1991. The arguments include the crack epidemic's conclusion, increased availability of abortion during the 1970s, and a growing prison population. The retrospective report quotes multiple criminologists, economists and law enforcement officials."
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Music

+ - William Shatner Covers 'Friday'-> 2

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "In a shock return to music, William Shatner has released a cover of Internet sensation Rebecca Black's 'Friday' . The spoken word cover was originally to have been Auto-Tuned, but an angered Shatner announced: "I'm not having any pitch corrections distorting my voice." Critics are calling the Shatner cover the first to improve rather than reduce the quality of the original song."
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Robotics

+ - Robot Actress Makes Stage Debut In Japan->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "The BBC reports that a robot named Geminoid-F has made it's acting debut in Japan. The short play in which it appeared was a sellout with the Japanese public who were curious to see the robot's performance. However an actress who co-starred pointed out that the lack of human presence made the droid difficult to act alongside."
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Crime

+ - British Man Jailed For Refusing To Reveal Password->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "In one of the first cases of its kind, 19 year old Oliver Drage of Liverpool, UK has been jailed for 18 weeks for refusing to give up a password to his computer. Police who made the arrest were tackling child sexual exploitation. Drage worked in fast-food service and had no prior criminal record. Police are still attempting to crack his sophisticated 50 character password. A detective on the case termed his sentence the 'ultimate sanction'."
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Idle

+ - If The PopeMobile Gets Bazooka'd, Blame Atheists->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Pope Benedict XVI, who is on a UK visit, received heavy criticism following his remarks comparing followers of atheism with Nazi extremists. The Pope's £75,000 bulletproof Mercedes, the 'PopeMobile', transports Benedict from place to place. A British commentator remarked that only a missile could pierce the car's chassis, and that if it did atheists could be blamed."
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It's funny.  Laugh.

+ - Science Writer Ed Yong Reveals Custard Truths->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Ed Yong of the popular British science magazine Discover has revealed results of his long-awaited custard research. Yong, an award-winning science writer, said he'd journeyed to the sprawling Amazonian rainforests to discover the origins of the popular dessert sauce. The results, to quote a certain sci-fi character, were "Fascinating...""
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It's funny.  Laugh.

+ - Robert De Niro Sets New Guinness World Record->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "Dramatic scenes erupted in Manhattan this evening as veteran actor Robert De Niro achieved a world record. The feat took 8 hours, 48 minutes and 51 seconds. Fellow Hollywood auteurs were keen to praise De Niro, whose endurance is now officially unmatched by any actor. The record concluded with a brave attempt to set another — 'Loudest sound made whilst drinking' — this narrowly failed, leaving the actor with mild intestinal problems."
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Businesses

+ - Apple Reveals Naming Mistakes->

Submitted by
Robotron23
Robotron23 writes "At a discreet press conference yesterday, Apple CEO Steve Jobs together with Stephen Wozniak confessed that throughout the company's history there had been errors in product naming: Those Beatles lawsuits could have been avoided had company registrars recorded the proposed name m'Appelle which was intended to tell customers the products 'truly belonged to them'. Wozniak mentions that the PowerBook was meant to be called the MightTome to better appeal to D&D enthusiasts."
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Idle

+ - Capt. Picard Calls Old Spice Man About Leaked File->

Submitted by Robotron23
Robotron23 (832528) writes "In an unexpected twist of events in the Wikileaks scandal, it emerged this evening that Patrick Stewart had interviewed Isaiah Mustafa, famous recently for his Old Spice endorsements. One of the 91,000 leaked files had apparently contained a letter and photo alluding to Mustafa as a 'special operative' in Afghanistan. It was spotted by fans of the sports star and has proliferated online since; Sir Patrick obtained a copy this morning and used his connections to gain an interview with Isaiah himself."
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