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Math

Journal: Parallel Probability Prediction

Journal by kiwipeso

It is possible that the futures tree of all possible futures can be predicted by a sufficently sophisticated processor. Events can be accurately guessed, given enough data, the allowance for free will and the fact that people are almost as predictable as any other animal.
There is however, only one true future, on which I aim to find in my predictions. I can usually find the branch on which it lies on the tree. Each event is like a leaf that unfolds on the branch.
What is needed is a better analogy, maybe even a bad one?

Perhaps I should state this in the way I dreamt of it:
The universe is but one in a multiverse of parallel dimensions, we exist in a small pool of reality defined by the time that has past us by and the time yet to arrive in the future.
The main point is, we can only be uncertain of which particular pool the future will arrive from, to become our present depends on the decisions made by the inhabitants of the current reality. However, it is possible to put in a model the weights in the neural networks surrounding each decision according to what is probable.

In other words, futures can be weighed, assessed and prepared for if there is enough processing power and memory available. There is also no practical reason that I can see why people can't do this in their head.
Perhaps this could explain why some people can dream about the future, only to have it happen later and feel a sense of deja-vu.

Credit: I have developed some math for this, but it does require somewhere around 1.6 to 3.2 GHz of processing power with a 1 GB workspace. Works best on multiprocessors.

Slashdot.org

Journal: Slashdot Server Malfunctioning AGAIN

Journal by Roto-Rooter Man

An old favorite creation of mine (2001 maybe?), saved for posterity:

For the second time tonight, Slashdot's backend is so mangled that I can't log in or view nested comments. Of course, we've come to expect this by now; it's not an infrequent occurance. My real gripe is about the complete lack of professionialism on the part of the Slashdot staff.

The site is supposedly viewed by many thousands of people every day. Presumably they have adequate resources, or they wouldn't waste their money keeping Jon Katz around. So why is their server down or screwed up so often? It doesn't reflect well on Slash, VA, or Linux; it's really amateur stuff. Isn't there a level of redundancy that could easily prevent these troubles? Hell, even trollaxor.com is up and running tonight.

Another thing to point out is that I rarely see non-troll users mentioning these downtimes. Is the open source community used to sitting around and waiting until problems clear up? Slashdot's downtime is like an uncle's molestation conviction - you just don't talk about it, because it might bring shame to the family. Those fools don't know how to fix their own systems, but they know that however screwed up they are, they're still better than a Windows server would be, yes siree...

I suppose we can't expect too much professionalism from a bunch who don't even bother to spell check their stories. Hell, they obviously don't even read their own site very often, judging by the number of double posts. Maybe I'm the only one who finds it insulting to see a modern business run more sloppily than a high school newspaper. Maybe I've come to expect too much from a few washed-up, wannabe geeks from Michigan.

But all I ask is one simple thing. If you don't take pride in what you do, and you waltz through the world day after day without one iota of concern for the quality of the product you produce, aren't you just going through the paces? Maybe before they write another trite story bashing Microsoft's sloppy product line, they should take a look at the quality of the service Slashdot is contributing to the "geek" world.

User Journal

Journal: The goatse project 3

Journal by Mighty-Troll

Was thinking about writing (or modifing an existing one) a proxy that will route all www traffic to goatse.cx

Would you, fellow trolls, be interested in such a powerful tool?

and ...

Making a website that uses an activeX control for poorly configured IE users to set that and activate it? (What would the legal implications of this be?)

User Journal

Journal: Slashdot Flowchart (as seen on K5) 4

Journal by egg troll
I saw this on K5 today and felt the need to share it with the world! An extra-special shout out to LookOnMyWorksYeMortalsAndDespair whose post I got this from. An even MORE special shout-out to the Slashdot crew whose Lameness Filter guarentees that the only consequence of posting this is a little odd formatting. Taco, you do suck.

DOCUMENT DISTRIBUTION:

             TOP SECRET   : (GROUP SLSH-1)
             EYES ONLY    : (HARD COPY ONLY)
             NEED TO KNOW : (DIRECT DEV)

             DESTROY INACTIVE COPIES

SLASHTEAM FEATURE PLANNING FLOW CHART

                   |
                 START
                   V
+---------------------------------------+
|Has the feature been implemented before|_yes_
|  on Kuro5hin or another weblog site?  |     |
+---------------------------------------+     |
                   |                          |
                   no                         V
                   V                          |
    +------------------------------+          |
    |Was the feature implemented or|______yes_|
    | suggested by a known Troll?  |          |
    +------------------------------+          |
                   |                          V
                   no                         |
                   V                          |
  +----------------------------------+        |       ___________
  | Have hundreds of users suggested |____yes_|      /           \
  |the feature to CmdrTaco via email?|        +---->< WON'T SCALE ><-------+
  +----------------------------------+        ^      \___________/         |
                   |                          no                           |
                   no                         |                            ^
                   V                          ^                            |
    +------------------------------+       +-----------------+             |
    |Will the feature make Slashdot|__yes_\|Can jamie or krow|             |
    |   even more like a game?     |      /| hack it for me? |             |
    +------------------------------+       +-----------------+             |
                   |                                  |                    |
                   no                                yes                   |
                   V                         _________v________________    |
   +---------------------------------+      /  THIS FEATURE IS PERFECT \   |
   |Can CmdrTaco use his limited Perl|_yes\/  FOR SLASHDOT. IM SO GLAD  \  |
   |    knowledge to kludge it in?   |    /\   I THOUGHT OF IT!!! TIME  /  |
   +---------------------------------+      \____FOR SAILOR MOON!______/   |
                   |                                                       ^
                   no                                                      |
                   |                                                       |
                   +---->-------------------------------------------->-----+

IMPORTANT NOTE:
  NEVER DISTURB A MAN WHO'S INVENTING SOMETHING YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND
User Journal

Journal: SLC Punk 1

Journal by Mighty-Troll
I finally saw SLC Punk for the first time. It sucked. After seeing Sid and Nancy, Suburbia (No, not the 90s movie you asshole, the one about punks that was filmed in the 80s), Decline of western civilization, etc, I can't beleive this fucking corporate drivel that comes out of Hollywood.
Censorship

Journal: Slashdot Commits Unicide 1

Journal by Serial Troller

Slaughters all non-ASCII-speaking netizens, film at eleven

By Serial Troller, 2002-07-04

THE HAGUE -- Robert ?CmdrTaco? Malda, the owner of the popular technology website Slash Dot, has become one of the first U.S. citizens to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against typography. The Court, authorized by the Rome Statute and ratified by over 60 nations, is charged with the duty of prosecuting individuals for serious human rights violations such as genocide, torture, and sexual slavery.

With this prosecution, the Court seems intent on adding a new crime to their docket, the crime of ?Unicide.?

?What this ?Taco Commander? did to the international community is unconscionable,? U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan was quoted saying. ?Yesterday, there was a flourishing Unicode-speaking population, numbering in the thousands. Today, there are none. They are all silenced. Their Unicode is either blocked by this so-called ?Lameness Filter? or silently wrenched from their messages.?

Slash Dot is home to at least 580,000 citizens, who hail from every Internet-equipped country in the world. However, many more ? perhaps nearly a million ? live anonymously amongst the ranks of registered citizens.

????? ? ?????, Prime Minister of ???? ?????????????, was outraged when he heard of Slash Dot?s decision to cleanse all Unicode-speaking individuals from their website. ???? ?????? ???? ?????? ???. ????????? ????? ?????, ??? ??????? ?????? ? ???? ? ????.?

The White House was dismayed by the decision of the Court to prosecute an American citizen for what the President deemed, a ?politicalized persecutorial.? White House spokesman Ari Flescher announced that the U.S. would, if pressed, go forward with their recently unveiled plan to invade the Netherlands, if this prosecution was not halted. ?This is absolutely stunning,? he said. ?That the United States would be expected to even acknowledge the presence of other character sets other than ASCII is an offense in its own right. You either write in ASCII, or you?re with the terrorists.?

Slash Dot, and its parent corporation, VA Software, were unavailable for comment.

Music

Journal: The Troll Polka: UPDATED 1

Journal by Serial Troller

THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)

By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25

Is das nicht ein early post?

Ja! Das ist mein early post!

Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost?

Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das post at minus one?

Ja! Das ist at minus one!

Is das trolling so much fun?

Ja! Das trolling is so fun!

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein big crapflood?

Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!

Is it worthless Linux FUD?

Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!

Big crapflood, Linux FUD,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel?

Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!

Is dis nicht his manchode meal?

Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Linux FUD,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll?

Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!

Is das nicht ein Goatse hole?

Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!

WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Linux FUD,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys?

Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!

Und are they not Taco's sex toys?

Ja! They are Taco's sex toys!

Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,

WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Linux FUD,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread?

Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!

Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD?

Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!

Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD,

Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,

WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Linux FUD,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

____________________

Change Log:

  • Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
  • Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
  • Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?

(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

Music

Journal: The Troll Polka (Geschlecht mit ziegen) 4

Journal by Serial Troller

THE TROLL POLKA (GESCHLECHT MIT ZIEGEN)

Is das nicht ein early post?

Ja! Das ist mein early post!

Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost?

Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht at minus one?

Ja! Das ist at minus one!

Is dis nicht ein trolling fun?

Ja! Das ist mein trolling fun!

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein big crapflood?

Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!

Is das night ein Taco's pud?

Ja! Das ist ein Taco's pud!

Big crapflood, Taco's pud,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel?

Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!

Is dis nicht his manchode meal?

Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Taco's pud,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll?

Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!

Is das nicht en Goatse hole?

Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!

WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Taco's pud,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys?

Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!

Is das nicht Taco's sex toys?

Ja! Das ist Taco's sex toys!

Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,

WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Taco's pud,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread?

Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!

Is das nicht ein FUCKING DEAD?

Ja! Das ist ein FUCKING DEAD!

Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD,

Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,

WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,

CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,

Big crapflood, Taco's pud,

Minus one, trolling fun,

Early post, Goatse ghost,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Oh, du schoene,

Slashdot sucks!

____________________

(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

User Journal

Journal: Nine... nine... nine!! (999!!) 15

Journal by Serial Troller

Last night I made my nine-hundred ninety-ninth Slashdot post. I was so happy that I've come this far that I wanked right then and there. I wanked and I wanked and I wanked; I wanked so hard I nearly pulled my own swollen penis out by the roots. As I wanked to pictures of the Olsen Twins being raped up the ass by horses, I remembered the WIPO Troll and how he committed suicide by masturbating himself to death. Then I kept on wanking.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM was kind enough to leave an answer. I wanked some more after I read that. I love wanking.

Well, everyone, this is it. No, I'm not going to kill myself like the eminent WIPO Troll, but I am going to keep wanking. I've decided to retire this crapflooding account. Serial Troller has posted 999 comments just looks so damned good I don't want to ruin it.

Science

Journal: Do this in real life, not online

Journal by kiwipeso

Ladies, Gentleman and Linux penguins.
There is an experiment that all regular slashdot readers should do when they have reached the legal age of consent.
This experiment is something that you should do outside of your office job, in the privacy of your home, without paying for and with someone you wish to spend the rest of your life with in a completely serious relationship and never cheat on.

The experiment has a duration of 24 hours, and should not be recorded except on your personal diaries and preferably not on national television.
This is a certain activity that you should both enjoy while writing a letter in french.

If the duration of the experiment lasts for 5 minutes, you are underperforming to the extent that you are unwell or stressed out.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 15 minutes, you are well suited to a lifetime of conservative fiscal investment.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 30 minutes, you are well suitable to be an average employee.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 45 minutes, it seems that you will be very well suited to an executive job.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 1 hour, it seems that you will have a senior position in your job by the time you are supposed to retire.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 2 hours, you may have a senior position at your work before you retire.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 3 hours, you will probably become a senior executive halfway to the age of retirement.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 4 hours, you are capable of out-performing the rest of the boardroom before you even get promoted.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 5 hours, then you deserve to become part of the executive management team.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 6 hours, then you deserve a long weekend to recover and a bonus for talented performance.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 7 hours, then you should arrange a sick leave call and do your homework while resting.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 8 hours, then the company should pay you a consultation fee for any homework done while sick.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 9 hours, then the company should also pay you a lump sum for your long-standing company performance.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 10 hours, then the company should pay for an amount of overtime during a fiscal holiday.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 11 hours, then the company should pay a fee for equipment maintenance.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 12 hours, then the company should also let you take an early retirement for your next career plan.

Finally, if the duration of the experiment lasts above 12 hours in one day, then you also need to own a street, so that the neighbours can't complain about being kept awake all night.

The 2000 Beanies

Journal: Yes, It's a great pacific winter season, at last 3

Journal by kiwipeso

I just love it when it's cool and wet and I can hear all the dirt of the city streets get washed away along with all the the noise my family makes.

I don't feel bored enough to watch TV, run experiments all night or let my brother pick fights for no reason.
I can just relax, tune out, think about taking my dog over the road to chase some stones or that cool place I want to build someplace that I want to own.

I don't want to get into anymore pointless arguements of Monopoly monoculture vs. Socialist community, I want to get on with my Kaos BSD project.
Liberty and Enterprise is far more important to me than pointless partisan conflict over who has the most programmers trying to make a work of shakespeare.
There comes a time in life when someone has to step forward and say "I'm on a personal mission, and I'm going to have a lot of fun doing it." "I don't care about the all the usual issues, I'm not a number."
"I'm sorry if I haven't been regular in visiting here, I'm going to go off and do something special soon."
"I couldn't give a damn about the level of misrepresentation there is about my personal life, it's my right to do many things in the way that I see best."
"I maintain certain advances that could do a lot of good, but if people get in my way, I'm more than prepared to go beyond their rules and do something cool, get credit for it this time."
[that will be the hard part, it's just free association without the need for self-censorship.]

That is probably the central issue of life, do you ever really feel the urge to swear while you build the rough model of your work ?
Whenever I'm at relaxing, I just need to let off steam.

Why yes, it's the SlimShady Redemption. It's really cool to actually buy stuff on DVDs or over the net rather than be one of those bloated civil servants or "Fit, but unwilling to get out of the welfare habit" layabouts.

So what if this is controversial ? It's simple if you know that "Freedom is the Freedom to Say 2 + 2 = 4."

Education

Journal: The concept of competition. 2

Journal by kiwipeso

I'd like to note that the state relies on a non-competitive monopoly funding it's own rubbish that has no reliability.
I should note that this particular monopoly is so incompetant that it believes it is the only way to do things.
I should note that the sheer bloat of the monopoly corporation is so big that there is no single person able to ensure stability.
This could equally be said to apply to certain parts of the civil service, namely the farmer's monopoly markets.
This sheer lack of competitive incentives can only cause hardship for consumers and producers due to the non-productive economics of excessive amounts of lawyers, accountants, and bureacracy.

This arrangement of non-competitive economics can only become an endless cycle of corporate welfare and government welfare.
This readily becomes a trap for dependancy on the state for the limited resources it has available.
This greatly inefficient system is doomed to failure due to the sheer lack of productivity caused by self-defined academia.
In layman's terms this could be defined as a lack of drive towards expansion, diversity and new knowledge.

Perhaps this could mean that the sheer lack of the competitive spirit that drives success is lacking in those companies.
There is a sheer lack of a future in any monopoly that believes it's own statistical lies, errors and politics.
This can only lead down into a black hole that distorts the postive shape of 4 dimensional space/time and can only be recycled out on the negative side of 4 dimensional space/time.

"It's like deja vu all over again." -- Yogi Berra

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