Forgot your password?
typodupeerror
Image

USPTO Awards LOL Patent To IBM 274

Posted by samzenpus
from the wtf-industries dept.
theodp writes "Among the last batch of patents granted in 2009 was one for IBM's Resolution of Abbreviated Text in an Electronic Communications System. The invention of four IBMers addresses the hitherto unsolvable problem of translating abbreviations to their full meaning — e.g., 'IMHO' means 'In My Humble Opinion' — and vice versa. From the patent: 'One particularly useful application of the invention is to interpret the meaning of shorthand terms ... For example, one database may define the shorthand term "LOL" to mean "laughing out loud."' USPTO records indicate the patent filing was made more than a year after Big Blue called on the industry to stop what it called 'bad behavior' by companies who seek patents for unoriginal work. Yet another example of what USPTO Chief David Kappos called IBM's apparent schizophrenia on patent policy back when he managed Big Blue's IP portfolio."
IBM

+ - 'Amateur' IBM brings down Air New Zealand->

Submitted by Reiners
Reiners (74286) writes ""In my 30-year working career, I am struggling to recall a time where I have seen a supplier so slow to react to a catastrophic system failure such as this and so unwilling to accept responsibility and apologize to its client and its client's customers," said Air New Zealand CEO Rob Fyfe of an IBM system crash on Sunday. The crash downed the airline's check-in desks, online bookings and call centers.

IBM has said it "regrets" the chaos."

Link to Original Source
The Almighty Buck

+ - IBM to Laid Off Employees: Offshore Yourself!-> 1

Submitted by
snydeq
snydeq writes "IBM has been offering employees some rather objectionable layoff choices as it continues its quiet layoff of thousands of employees, according to various insider reports. Employees considered 'satisfactory performers' are being given the option to relocate to 'growth markets where your skills are in demand.' Those who choose to offshore themselves to India, China, Russia, or beyond do so in lieu of severance, and must agree to work on local terms and conditions, including pay. 'If you take the job, IBM won't pay severance but will pay "a portion" (undefined) of your relocation expenses, including tax and visa services," said one IBM'er who declined a job in Malaysia due to the accompanying two-thirds paycut. 'Not a good deal for many of my colleagues who have 20-25 weeks of severance under their agreement.' Meanwhile, some IBM workers who still have jobs are being given a very tough choice: Move across the country at your own expense, or get fired with no severance package. The cuts at IBM are being done amid strong financial results."
Link to Original Source

With all the fancy scientists in the world, why can't they just once build a nuclear balm?

Working...