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Journal: Medic 2

Journal by Profane Motherfucker

I'm going to paramedic school. I'm being serious, too. I really am going to paramedic school. So about 14 months from now, the good people of a particular medium- to large-sized city will have the incredible joy of seeing me pump their veins full of fluids and odd elixers, then taking them to the hospital.

It could be a city near you! Eat hearty portions this holiday! Lots of egg nog and gristle! Have another three or five tom and jerry's drinks. 1000s of lucky winners each day!

User Journal

Journal: Meth 3

Journal by Profane Motherfucker

This post raises a few curious questions. Since you fuckers are lazy, I presume, I will cut and paste it here to save a few clicks. Jesus you people are slothful bitches.

I wonder, if crack was legalized, would we be having a simular discussion over how best to prepare it? (not saying any of you here would do crack, just that if it was socially acceptable and all that)

Well, my man, I will tell you the answer is yes. In the case of meth, there are a variety of ways its manufactured. The hardcore fiends, I'm talking about the toothless fucking junkies, all have their own particular flavor they like. There's more flavors to this shit than Baskin' Fucking Robbins. The count I heard was 48. It's just like coffee. Generally, just like coffee, there are some flavors that most snobs like. In the case of meth junkies, they like the stuff made from lithium batteries.

I asked one junkie why he was so fond of the lithium battery method. In all honesty, consuming anything that has a principal ingredient of a battery seems like some seriously flawed fucking paradigm, but not to the toothless cunt he was.

"It's smooth, man. Like the other shit [method unknown] just burns your throat like you snorted fire. This shit is a lot smoother and it don't burn as much."

So, there you have it.

User Journal

Journal: Trackback Trolling 1

Journal by Profane Motherfucker

You're familiar with MoveableType, yes? Well they have this little thing called a trackback. I propose, and it's most likely been well worn by now:
Trackback Trolling.

Let's say I write a highly inflamatory post: like this. Note that I did not write this. But I see its potential for highly inflamed responses.

With my highly inflamatory post, I go on a trackback finding spree, looking for exactly the type of people with blogs likely to be offended by my writings. So I go to Daypop.com and search for something, find a few blogs.

I craft an offensive excerpt for my post that will ensure 100% offense to the readers and author.

Then, I grab their trackback pings for specific posts, paste them into my MT post and send off a shitload of trackbacks, along with my coarse excerpt. You can also just link to other MT blogs and have the TB generated automagically too.

Trackback trolling. What an idea. Few use trackbacks regularly, except the A-list bloggers that are party to selfsuck sessions with each other. In the general blog world, they're not too common -- hence the massive impact this has.

Folks, you heard it here first.

Due note, careful reader, that deleting a trackback is not particularly easy to do. If I sent a profane fucking spew in the form of a trackback to another blog, it's not easy for victim of said profane fucking spew to remove that trackback.

It's possible to delete them, but rather a pain. One must enter the database and manually delete that trackback from the table.

User Journal

Journal: German-style beef brisket recipe? 11

Journal by Profane Motherfucker

Anyone have one? I'm quite fond of beef brisket. And I've never had a German dish I disliked.

And, by the way, Lent is my favorite time of the year. Not because I'm Catholic, Lutheran or anything even remotely close. Presbyterian, in name only, to be exact. But the stores all go apeshit marking down the various fish products to appease the pious.

That means for those who have a disgusting lust for tinned fish, like kipper snacks, and sardines, these things are on sale. I now own more tinned fish at this moment, than at any other point in my adult life.

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

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