When The Onion's lawyer wrote "...Moreover, she wrote, The Onion and its Web site are free, so the seal is not being used for commercial purposes. That said, The Onion asked that its letter be considered a formal application to use the seal..."
This is a bold faced lie! While the readers may not have to pay for the privilege of reading this crap, The Onion receives money from advertising.
Just try to go read an article without being forced to read an ad every now and then...
Stop abusing the seals or the polar bears will go hungry!!!