Where did you see that programmer competence is a non-bellcurve distribution? I would really, sincerely appreciate a citation of that!
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You can run full Debian on it. It is trivial to write a script that tunnels any kind of linux remote control app through SSH, like VNC or rdesktop...
What a shame that such an exciting visit to Nokia had to go so horribly wrong! Get better quickly!
Maybe they can use this opportunity to add bionics to your hand. We can do it; we have the technology.
I saw that picture of your X-Ray. I thought it was something to do with this app: