Canada has had these for years. Check em out all over Google eh! https://www.google.com/search?q=dog+sled&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=qpIRUsPeLqHOyAGx2oA4&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=993
This whole thing sounds to me a lot like "Hey, sorry you got raped; look on the bright side, at least he used lube".
5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
Video is not available in my country, wtf Youtube...
This won't get you more internet access, but here is a site that lets you embed files in ASCII art. You could send the ASCII art as text in the e-mails and your family could "decrypt" them on the other end. You might be able to grab their code somehow and use it offline so you don't burn your internet minutes uploading files to it.
Did you even read the other posts? Like someone above you mentioned, there are lots of ways to capitalize on things you give away. Books: autograph signings or serialized content, or paper books. Music: Concerts, t-shirts, hard copy sales (hard to find pirated Vinyl) even iTunes is turning a profit. None of these suggestions lead to any of the things you said, but giving away digital versions will almost certainly increase sales of your other warez. I know some public speakers who make upwards of $200k per speech, everything else they can give away because they make more than enough off speaking alone.
In just a few days, some of us will be making the trek to this year's Blizzcon event in Anaheim, CA. In addition to the interesting announcements, sneak peeks, and other distractions, we will be sitting down with several Blizzard employees to answer any questions you might have. So far we have scheduled some time with Chris Sigaty, lead producer on StarCraft II; Jeffrey Kaplan (aka Tigole), game director for World of Warcraft; Leonard Boyarsky, lead world designer on Diablo III; and Paul Sams, Blizzard COO. Please address your questions to one (or several) of these candidates and try to keep them civil and on topic. Questions about Diablo III's art style will most likely be omitted since we have limited time and that dead horse has already been beaten into submission. The usual Slashdot interview rules apply, but beyond that, the sky is the limit.
For the reasonable price of $1 visitors to New York's Coney Island amusement park can watch a man with a black hood pour water on the face of a prisoner in an orange jumpsuit strapped to a table. Unfortunately both men are actually robotic dolls created by artist Steve Powers to protest waterboarding. It's a shame that they couldn't find some college kids to get waterboarded. There are few things I like to do in the summer more than have some beers, get bloated with corn dogs and pour water over the face of someone tied down.