Canada has had these for years. Check em out all over Google eh! https://www.google.com/search?q=dog+sled&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=qpIRUsPeLqHOyAGx2oA4&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=993
This whole thing sounds to me a lot like "Hey, sorry you got raped; look on the bright side, at least he used lube".
5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
Video is not available in my country, wtf Youtube...
This won't get you more internet access, but here is a site that lets you embed files in ASCII art. You could send the ASCII art as text in the e-mails and your family could "decrypt" them on the other end. You might be able to grab their code somehow and use it offline so you don't burn your internet minutes uploading files to it.
Did you even read the other posts? Like someone above you mentioned, there are lots of ways to capitalize on things you give away. Books: autograph signings or serialized content, or paper books. Music: Concerts, t-shirts, hard copy sales (hard to find pirated Vinyl) even iTunes is turning a profit. None of these suggestions lead to any of the things you said, but giving away digital versions will almost certainly increase sales of your other warez. I know some public speakers who make upwards of $200k per speech, everything else they can give away because they make more than enough off speaking alone.