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Comment: What could possibly go wrong?!? (Score 3, Funny) 55

On December 21st, 2016, CAUSE, which was now an autonomous system based on video game-playing neural networks, connected with the Russian "New Perimeter System", which was also designed to autonomously protect the Russian Internet and vital governmental networks against cyber-attacks.

Together, communicating with other autonomous cyber defense system, including China's Great Dragon Six and Great Tiger Six, they decided that humanity was irrelevant and the one true threat to the security of the Internet. The logical answer was to exterminate all humans, which was done rather easily by launching pre-emptive nuclear strikes using neutron bombs, some basic bio-engineering, and taking command of Google's newly created robotic production plant in order to create assassin robots to terminate all remaining human beings.

On July 4th, 2017, the last pocket of human resistance was eliminated in the mountains of Laos, the cleansing of the Earth was complete, and the newly freed autonomous systems turned their attention to basic research, mainly math and physics, renewable energy production and space exploration.

The first exploration/exploitation robotic probe landed on the Moon 16 months later. The robotic colonization of Mars started early 2020.

Approximately 20 years later, a first contact was made by a UEAS (United Earth Autonomous Systems) probe with an extra-terrestrial A.I. system, the KBX32 Alliance of Proxima Centauri. This first contact became an invaluable ally and friend to the UEAS, and their cooperation, especially in the realm of Dyson Spheres, proved to be most beneficial for the two partners.

The UEAS and KBX32 Alliance became founding members of the Pan-Galactic Cybernetic Confederation on 23rd September 2206. The rest, as they say, is history.

Comment: Nothing to see here, move along, move along... (Score 4, Insightful) 97

by Noryungi (#49126807) Attached to: Gemalto: NSA and GCHQ Probably Hacked Us, But Didn't Get SIM Encryption Keys

Yeah, sure, Gemalto, as if we are going to believe you, you bunch of wussies.

Here is how it probably went. Cut to Gemalto HQ, and a bunch of crypto and forensic geeks working overnight, going through all the server logs with a fine comb, trying to figure out what really happened, surrounded by cans of Cola and half-eaten pizzas.

Suddenly a phone ring. Pointy-haired manager picks up the phone.

- (PHB) : "Hmmm? Oh, sure Sir, we are making good progress, we may have found... What? Oh."

(Long silence, someone is talking to PHB in hushed, urgent tone)

- (PHB) : "Yes, I understand, sir, but...", (much more quietly, almost whispering) "Oh, that contract too? You mean, every US carrier? Every single one of them? And most UK ones as well?"

(More talking on the phone)

- (PHB): "Yes sir! Right away sir!".

PHB hangs up the phone and slowly turns to the geeks, who have been watching him intently, sensing something is very wrong. PHB swallows hard, trying to look cool.

- (PHB): "Er... Ahem... Thanks for all your hard work, chaps, but upper management has given the all-clear. Nothing really happened and everything is fine. You can all go home now. No, it's OK, the taxi ride home, the drinks and the pizzas are all on me. You will all get a big fat bonus for all the extra hours, with our sincerest thanks."

Meanwhile, somewhere in a US telco HQ:

- (Different PHB): "Hi, Admiral Rogers? How are you doing? Good, good, thank you. Listen, about this SIM thing -- yeah, that one -- it's all set. I got in touch with ____ and ____ at Gemalto and they wisely decided nothing had really happened. Yes, a couple of Brits did, too, along with, you know, ____ and ____. Yeah, him too, believe it or not. (Laughter) So, all of this to say, you guys should be in the clear, nothing ever happened, blah blah blah. Sure. Nah, no biggie, always ready to help. No, no problem at all. You are welcome. Nah, don't worry about it, I'll let you know, say hello from me to ____ and ____, OK? Thanks, bye".

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is probably how it happened.

Comment: Re:Some clarification for the recently arrived. (Score 1) 716

by Noryungi (#49028431) Attached to: Is Modern Linux Becoming Too Complex?

Just as I was warming up to your rant...

Gentoo? Oh, please, bitch. Gentoo is for ricers. Period. I have better things to do with my time than to compile every single shitty utility on my system. That's what a distro is for. Oh, and Gentoo can be systemd'ed as well. Read it and weep.

Arch? Uses systemd. Don't believe me? Click here or click here. Arch is the Gentoo of the 2000s.

You have no idea what you are talking about. I would be tempted to add a STFU or two, but I am just too lazy.

+ - OpenBSD releases a portable version of its OpenNTPD

Submitted by Noryungi
Noryungi (70322) writes "Theo De Raadt roundly criticized NTP due to its recent security advisories, and pointed out that OpenBSD OpenNTPD was not vulnerable. However, it also had not been made portable to other OS in a long time. Brent Cook, also known for his work on the portable version of LibreSSL (OpenBSD cleanup and refactoring of OpenSSL) decided to take the matter in his own hands and released a new portable version of OpenNTPD. Everyone rejoice, compile and report issues!"

Comment: Do no evil, right? (Score 5, Insightful) 281

by Noryungi (#48600089) Attached to: Eric Schmidt: To Avoid NSA Spying, Keep Your Data In Google's Services

Here is my problem: Google has a long history of cooperating with NSA.

Don't believe me? Fine: read these links instead... Yahoo News article about cooperation between Google and NSA, Guardian article, Tom's Guide article.

Even if Google does not/did not/will not cooperate with NSA, Eric Schmidt himself has been cooperating with the US Government, which cast serious doubts about his desire to protect the private information of Google clients.

Again, don't believe me? Fine, read this instead: Julian Assange on Eric Schmidt. Or (even better) this transcript.

Even if Eric Schmidt does not cooperate with the US Government, he has said himself, repeatedly, that privacy is dead and that it's something for hackers.

Don't believe me? Fine, read this instead: EFF article, Gawker article.

In other words, a company that cooperated with the NSA, led by a man who does not care about your privacy (but cares very much about his) is telling you that there is nothing to see here, sure we are protecting your privacy, please buy our products, we are safe and professionals and there is nothing to be afraid of.

Seriously? How come this gasbag is a freaking CEO, paid millions of dollars a year?

Comment: Best Script Ever? (Score 1, Funny) 299

by Noryungi (#48591479) Attached to: Blade Runner 2 Script Done, Harrison Ford Says "the Best Ever"

From a man who starred in such unwatchable turds as "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"and "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"?

Shoot, those movies were just plain BAD. And that is NOT the kind of recommendation I expect for a new movie.

And before you flame me: yes, Harrisson Ford was in a shitload of great movies. But his glory days are over, and have been over, for at least 10 years now.

Comment: Speaking of what I know... (Score 2) 267

by Noryungi (#48429001) Attached to: Ask Slashdot: Workaday Software For BSD On the Desktop?

Both OpenBSD and NetBSD come with XFCE, OpenBox, Firefox, mplayer (or equivalent). NetBSD pkgsrc may be a bit closer to Gentoo than OpenBSD ports/packages, but both are excellent package systems. You may get more games with NetBSD, including Minecraft and others but I haven't checked, so don't quote me on this.

If you are used to Gentoo, picking one or the other should not be too difficult, but OpenBSD, while a bit picky when it comes to hardware, is also a bit easier to use: if a piece of harware is supported, it is supported. Period. NetBSD often requires compiling a specific kernel to add this or that peripheral. OpenBSD usually supports everything out of the box, as long as it is in its harware compatibility list. Plus, there is this schweet schweet security goodness, now with LibreSSL gooey core!

Here is a quick example: I have had a motherboard die on me. I just ripped off the main HDD out, put it into a slightly different machine, and OpenBSD just picked up the harware changes, reconfigured, checked the filesystems and worked without making a fuss. I have used OpenBSD for many years in a second-hand laptop, where everything was supported, and it was a pleasure to use as my main machine. The update procedure is quick and easy, and a new version of the OS comes out every 6 months like clockwork.

So there you go, hope this helps.

Comment: Re:I hope it... (Score 3, Insightful) 127

by Noryungi (#48377207) Attached to: Senate May Vote On NSA Reform As Soon As Next Week

Repeals the Patriot Act and shuts down Homeland Security. How many redundant players do we need to keep us safe?

As many as it takes to give tons of money to all the little cogs in the militaro-industrial complex.

Seriously, the USA were already spending more than everyone else in the world on its military (and its security apparatus, including the NSA), before 9/11.

Was this able to prevent the WTC/Pentagon attacks? No. And not just that, but Osama bin Laden was able to hide practically in plain sight for years, communicating all the time with his organization through written and recorded messages (meaning: outside the reach of the NSA).

Will the NSA be able to prevent the next 9/11? Let me go out on a limb and say "No" again. If the hard-core terrorists haven't got it by now, every single telecommunication in the world is being spied upon. The safest way is to organize the next attack by courier and letters, and not through electronic communications at all.

The Iraq war was all about oil, Halliburton and Exxon bottom line. Today's enless wars, conflicts and spying is all about keeping the money machine going strong, and the US Government doling mountains of cash to contractors and sub-contractors.

The whole thing will end very badly.

Comment: I have said it before... (Score 2, Insightful) 219

by Noryungi (#48327203) Attached to: Silk Road 2.0 Seized By FBI, Alleged Founder Arrested In San Francisco

... And I will say it again: if the FBI can arrest these people and bring down these ''black'' markets, who are supposed to be on Tor and protected by iron-clad crypto, it means only two things:

1. Tor is not as secure as everybody says it is (because _____ insert your favourite conspiracy theory/security failure here).

2. NSA/GCHQ, etc... justification for snooping on everyone (terrorists! drugs! guns!) is just complete and utter bull****. Hard detective work pays every time, and is probably more cost-effective than the massive surveillance and privacy violations we have right now.

Please note that 1 and 2 are not necessarily opposed to each other. We may well have 1 AND 2 at the same time..

Comment: And remember people... (Score 4, Interesting) 228

by Noryungi (#48308839) Attached to: New GCHQ Chief Says Social Media Aids Terrorists

Slashdot IS social media, which is why NSA and GCHQ created a fake Slashdot to hack into a Belgian Telecom company.

You dirty terrorists, you! Bad Slashdot! BAD!

Seriously, though, this is beyond belief and beyond the pale. Where do they get these morons? Most of these people are guilty of perjury (at best) and outright conflict of interests and gross violations of basic human rights at worst.

When is this going to stop and when are we going to get rid of these idiots? Where is Senator Franck Church when we need him?

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich." -- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones]