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User Journal

Journal: Bye Slashdot 2 3

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

And now on the regular website I click "Account" to look for a way to delete my account, and all it does is darken the page. Tried in Firefox and it loaded, and of course there's no way to delete the account. To hell with this.

User Journal

Journal: Bye Slashdot 1

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

The mobile version of the site? What the hell?

I click links in my email notifications and have to scroll down to read the actual post, and now I was writing a comment which got lost. I wrote my comment, clicked the "login to post" button, and on logging in it brings me to the home page and loses my post. Jesus Christ monkey balls!

It's been a fun few years, but it's now at an end. This is no-longer funny.

User Journal

Journal: A quick guide to Slashdot terms and conventions

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

Term: M$
Example: "Typical M$ behaviour. I'm not one bit surprised by this."
Comment: By writing M$ instead of Microsoft or MS, you are reminding the world that some corporations in this world are interested in making money. This is something we all need to remember. If you find M$ being overused, you can also use the term Microsloth. Using either word quickly demonstrates that you're an impartial rational person and that your post will be insightful and balanced.

Term: LOL
Example: "LOL I went to the shop and I bought a newspaper LOL!"
Comment: Add LOL to the beginning and end of every sentence you write. In real-life, laughing at random makes you appear to be insane or unstable, but in writing it makes you appear intelligent and friendly LOL. See also LOLZ, LOLZOR, ROFL and ROFLMAO. Any sentence that doesn't contain at least one of these is a failure. LOL is most effectively used when responding on a subject about which you know nothing. LOL, why u need terabyte drive for profesional video work? I only have 60gb and that works fine for Windows Movie Maker. ur stupid.

Term: Rediculous
Example: "It's rediculous to expect me to read the article!"
Comment: When ridiculous just isn't enough, we have the word rediculous.

Term: CAPITALISATION of specific WORDS to create emphasis.
Example: "You NEED to read the MANUAL before you fucking post HERE!!!"
Comment: Some people write clear sentences in which the important points are easy to discern. This is a waste of time, just capitalise the words that you think are important. Some may see this as shouting but WHO CARES?????

Term: I know I'll be modded down for this but...
Example: "I know I'll be modded down for this but I think that Linux won't be ready for the desktop until..."
Comment: It's a play on the Obi Wan Kenobi 'Strike Me Down and I Will Become More Powerful Than You Can Possibly Imagine' line. It's also known as 'playing the martyr card'. No matter how nonsensical or incorrect your post may be, you can always claim that you were modded down because of the Slashdot group-think mentality. Your being modded down has nothing to do with your comment being flamebait, redundant, off-topic or downright stupid.

Term: Sheeple
Example: "The sheeple can stay with Windows but I won't. I run [insert Linux distro] on my home-made system with an AMD [insert processor model].
Comment: Sheeple is a combination of the words people and sheep. It describes a herd mentality. Everyone is sheeple except for you, because you're smart enough to see what's really going on. This is possibly why you find it hard to relate to other people and are frequently shunned. One day they'll learn, oh yes they'll learn. You'll make them pay one day!

Term: IANAL
Example: "Since they stole the laptop from you to begin with, you can just break in to their house, kill them in their beds and take the laptop back. IANAL"
Comment: I Am Not A Lawyer. When giving legal advice it's handy to point this out just in case a Slashdot user assumes that a random stranger on the Internet happens to be a lawyer offering free and expert advice. The judge asked why the plaintif thought it was okay to commit burglary and murder? The defendent informed the court that a guy on Slashdot told him to do it, and he assumed he was a lawyer who knew what he was talking about. Why else would he have given the advice?

Term: What's the point in buying x product, I get by with my y product.
Example: I don't see why Citibank would spend that much on UltraSPARC T2 systems just to run a customer database? I run a blog on my trusty Compaq Presario. It's not just the MySQL database, it's the web server as well. I can even play games while it's serving my blog LOL!!!
Comments: Don't let a total lack of knowledge prevent you from offering advice. I'm sure the CTO of Amazon has never considered how cheaply their ordering system can be run, and as soon as they log off they'll tear out their server room and replace it with an Alienware machine - complete with a really sweet pulsing green light on the front. Your personal experience is always relevant and the world must learn this.

Term: retard
Example: u think that you actually have a say in government? Retard!!
Comments: Anyone who has witnessed a debate or a negotiation between great thinkers knows that there is only one sure fire way to convince your opponent. In order for them to accept your point of view, they must realise how wrong and stupid they are. Calling them a retard (or asshat) accomplishes this.

Slashdot.org

Journal: Sneak adverts in Slashdot posts (kidtux1) 5

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

I think Fidel has commented on this before but this is the first time in a long while I've come across someone doing this.

Slashdot allows you to include a signature at the end of each post. Some people put witty quotes, some put adverts (such as the infamous 'click here for a free iPod'advert). Slashdot has a mechanism in place for people who don't want to see signatures, they can disable them.

Some sneaky twats get around this by placing their advert at the end of their comment by copying and pasting. Because the advert is now part of the comment, not the signature, it is still shown. Personally I add anyone doing this to my foes list because this is not better than spam. The way he words his comments is confusing as well. Since there's no dividing line between his genuine comment and the link, it's easy to just click his link thinking it's relevant to what he's saying when in fact it's just him whoring his blog.

Anyway, the lastest addition to my foes list is kidtux1.

User Journal

Journal: A guide to bad customer service. (Blatant advert) 2

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

Yeah, this is kind of an advert but it's something I've been thinking about for ages now.

I work in a job where I train people to deal with customers so I'm probably over-sensetive when it comes to customer service. If I get bad service, I'll go elsewhere even if that means a little more hassle or a higher price.

I figure that some people just don't want to learn to help customers and some are incapable of doing it well. Rather than get depressed, I've decided to help people to develop bad customer skills.

The Bad Service Guide

if you do pay a visit, please feel free to let me know what you think or if you have ideas that could be amusing. Anyone working with computers is guaranteed to have seen some pretty shitty service both in shops and on the phone.

News

Journal: When zombies attack 10

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

This story is very, very strange. It's about some kind of virus that appears to kill people and then restart their hearts for up to two hours after death.

The re-animated victim then becomes incredibly violent. Sounds too scary to be true.

Zombie attack

I'm heading for the Winchester. You're welcome to join me, bring a cricket bat though.

User Journal

Journal: Spammers and guestbooks 18

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

Since posting a guest-book on my site, it's been hammered by spammers. Here's my guest-book if you're interested in seeing what's happening.

Spammed Guest-book

I've modified my script now so that they can't spam me anymore. I left the examples there because I'm in the process of complaining to their hosting company to hopefully get this spamming stopped.

If you've had guest-book or forum spamming like this, I would strongly urge you to mail the hosting company. Generally, for the Baikal and Umax stuff, it seems to be Everyone's Internet. I'm not saying here that the owner of these sites is spamming but it seems odd that the spam is being referred by the owners sites and is advertising his sites.

At this point, it's hard to say whether the hosting company will help. I've emailed them and had some replies but nothing concrete yet.

I've tried to contact the various sites via the Contact links they have but they are all broken. The web sites being linked are generally very low-quality. Most of the links are dead. Here's an example Baikal Guide. Don't worry, this doesn't have porn or anything on it, just a lot of very bad html.

So far in 3 days, I've had around 100 spam attempts on my guest-book, all thwarted by the protection I put in place. It's crude but at least it stops the Umax adverts.

Slashdot.org

Journal: Pyramid schemes and fake sigs 11

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

Okay, it was annoying enough when people were whoring their sigs out so they could get a free iPod or free iMac. At least you could go to your preferences and chose to hide sigs.

Now, there is new approach. Simply manually paste a sig in to each post. This means that the normal sig blocking will not stop the advert getting through. Not only that, but they have two adverts (it's not just one free thing they want), and a link to a Wired article full of glowing testimonials.

Here's an example.

sig whore

Slashdot.org

Journal: Best reply ever

Journal by MysteriousPreacher

Came across this beauty. Look at this comment and then the reply to it.

Everyone commits attrocities

Everybody commits attrocities.

Jesus fuck, if that's how you lead off, I'd like a bit of assurance that you don't live within two hundred miles of me. Fuck, what's your attrocity---making cockpuppets from the neighbors' dogs?

--grendel drago

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