The Manager and my manager follow me into the workspace and hover over my shoulder as I plug it in, power it on, do the usual updates/driver checks/system info/clear temp folders/scan disk/defrag, the sort of stuff you do before you really start putting your trouble shooting head on.
me "oh, what's this I see here?" as I find a hidden folder in the root folder called 'sex'.
No, full on animal stuff, some chick being rogered by a horse.
the room went very silent very fast. "so.. uhm.. what did you say the problem was again?" "it's ok, as long as it turns on and runs eh? just pop it back in it's box, I'll take it back to him.
Then the MD who retired was having trouble with his computer, top end kit that he'd ordered for himself just before retiring to have at home. He'd bring it in every month for some new problem where he'd installed something and the malware had knocked something else out, the usual stuff, happened often. What was different was that he was well into using usenet. Not often I saw anyone with that, and probably where he was getting all the viruses from, lets have a quick look, and... oh. uhm, OH! Right, uhm... "Oh, that's ok, don't worry about it, I have a friend we try to out do each other which who can find the strangest things on the internet." Well, I think he won all right. Luckily no kiddie stuff, just lots of (again) animal stuff, and interracial gay stuff, all perfectly normal! We'd had a big project to get everyone sorted with email. At the time, company being around 125 people, 6 locations, I found it odd they'd not had email a long time before, but as a haulage/shipping company, they lived on crazy amounts of faxes, but were a bit behind the times before they realised they needed an IT department and had hired my boss and then me. Still, they didn't like spending money, and instead of doing it right and spending even half the budget they could end up spending in the pub for a 'management meeting', we did it really on the cheap. 28kbaud dial up modem. Internal emails flew around obviously, but the model was 'dial up every hour, send out, receive, drop the connection' Then changed to 'every 30minutes' as the quickly got hooked on email. But basically, from the moment it first dialed up in the morning, it never dropped it's connection, the amount of 'emails' quickly saturated the slow link. Head bean counter saw the phone bill and wondered what was going on, my manager used it as an excuse to get an ISDN line paid for, but still the bean counter wanted to know what was going on. Especially as we'd had a few virus breakouts that had brought a couple of departments down for an hour as we sorted things out. So we stayed late one night, head bean counter included, to go around each machine and see what was going on.
well.. being a shipping/haulage company, with there being a few firings for some of the drivers running pr0n importing businesses on the side, it was obvious what we found. Hundreds of megabytes per machine filled with sick and depraving stuff. Wasn't anything mild, it was all intense fetish(where did her arm go?)/gangbanging/animals again. Head beancounter was not happy, that we found so much of this in the SENT folder to external addresses, he was flipping his lid that there was a huge liability/legal issue that so much sick stuff had been sent out from our company. He flew up to his office to send out a company wide email/print out a memo posted everywhere to warn people that this was it, last chance, firings and police involvement if done again. Now, we never got all the machines cleared out in the evening, so we carried on in the morning. I'll never forget going to one department, and the one annoying girl saying "feel free to check my email, I think you'll find there's nothing untoward going on there!" "yup, looks all good there, nothing bad, now lets switch profiles and see whats..." "STOP!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT, THAT"S PERSONAL EMAIL!" "err, this is company property, hardware/software/the lot" "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" "why not? you just said feel free to search, you've nothing to hide" at this point her manager wandered over "what's going on here? not a problem is there?" "Well, she's freaking out about us checking the machine, we're trying to clear all the virus attachments and pr0n from the computers, and this is one of the last machines we have to check, all the rest have been done, and there's a problem..." "TELL HIM HE CAN'T CHECK MY PERSONAL EMAIL" the manager starts looking agitated, but right at this point, head beancounter comes into the room to distribute his paper memo, and... yeah, her manager backed off, beancounter floated over my shoulder as we changed profile and...
Yeah, a whole lot of persona email, that her co-workers next to her were busily snooping at, all the more fun because it was obvious she was having an affair with the contractor brought in, who was married, and she was getting married within the month. Oh, and a whole load of sick pron. Turned out that she won the prize for the most megabytes of pron in her inbox/sent folder by far. She wasn't with the company for much longer after that, this was just the nail in the coffin.
They should make us swear nda's or something, as we see all the dirty secrets to a company. So.. yeah, it's very odd being in IT support, the stuff you see...