Real vampires do not sparkle ( damn glitter sparkle fairies crowding our space)....

This almost sounds like a lead in for "scientific excuses" for chemtrails.

Oh, look, its the turbo-props causing the lasting contrail, those jets are not equipped with special sprayers at all.

I was going to reference that movie "Teeth" about the hungry vagina.
Then I remembered he is a /.er, so that generally precludes productive contact with hot chicks, even if it is just serving them dinner ;)

I saw an article recently that claimed that 11.something % of ALL web traffic was related to do-no-evil Google.
An astonishing number (also astonishing is Facebook's 7.07%).

With even 5% of web traffic able to be collected, categorized, linked, crosslinked and inferred through traffic heuristics...
Holy Shit what a force to be reckoned with!

It almost makes me feel bad for the average chump (Corps included, staffed as they are by AFCs), since they willingly give all this info to the bots.

A properly paranoid person would ask for a search anonymiser(sp) to act as a proxy and hunt down random crap to obfuscate the real results.... Anyone know of a service like that I can use?

You certainly sound angry.
Bitter even.
You ever see Hedwig and the Angry Inch?

Wow, who woke up the Grammar Nazi?

He's got nothing on Shampoo.

This is Slashdot, most of the readers don't know what (non-caffeinated) soap is, much less shampoo!

On the flip side, we'll probably look about as advanced as primates to an advanced alien life form, who will probably perform experiments on us.

What is to say that is not already happening?
Take a look at US government and the military and you will see the (self-proclaimed) advanced lifeforms are already doing this.
(alien infestation theories aside).....

##Monkey Cow Chicken Fly 128!k93>>22k5gg91

I find your proposition utterly preposterous! ;)