feeding them shit for food and turning them into future fatasses
Our food is only 5% shit by weight, and it takes more than just food to turn them into greasy, overweight nerds - specifically, you need WOW and a good internet connection.
a stupid clown and a dinky playground
Yeah? Let's see your clown and playground! From what your girlfriend says, you're the clown, and calling your "playground" dinky would be a compliment.
"i'm just big boned" or "its genetic"
Hey, your Mom liked my big bone, and that kind of thing is genetic. Sorry the "enhancement" ads lied to you, little anonymous coward.