Because you aren't actually a customer of Oracle. You aren't paying them money and most likely you're using Java to run 3rd party software.
Just download the JDK it isn't bundled with crapware, or at least hasn't been.
Agreed, so many reasons why this wouldn't work:
- left phone at home
- dead battery
- no service
I think it depends on precisely what they're asking for here. To me the TLD accessed is a red herring by Google, if the EU wants the filter to apply to its citizens its not unreasonable it would apply to all of Google's domains. Though that should not mean the filter would apply to folks outside the EU accessing those domains.
This is also the pot calling the kettle black. The USA frequently attempts to govern outside its national boundaries, see the recent FIFA investigation as a recent example.