You've being overly vague and ambiguous in your first paragraph. It might indeed be the case that few people understand the intricacies of police situations, they're not professionals after all. But that doesn't mean they're thankless. And scrutinizing their procedures doesn't equate to being disrespectful.
As I said before, we shouldn't just be looking into the final dilemma that resulted in this tragic end. We should be asking how it got this far in the first place and whether best practices were adhered to.