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Journal: Wazzup!!!!! 3

Journal by List of FAILURES

Hello. Is this thing on? [tap tap tap]

I've been away on assignment. I'm back now. If only for a while. I see the_mad_poster has disappeared. Anything else going on I should know about?

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Journal: Top 40 Reasons Why Gun Nuts Need to be Shot 14

Journal by List of FAILURES
Another FAILURE has been found on Slashdot!!!! (Read the link first then come back here for fun)

1. Banning guns works better than not banning guns, because it keeps every fucking mouth breather who has seen Red Dawn once too many times from thinking he's an army of one.

2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is number play, as is Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000. While we're at it, let's compare East L.A. with Rat's Ass Nevada's crime rates. Sorry, but Indianapolis is not anywhere near the same kind of city that DC is.

3. Statistics are abused by both sides of the gun issue. So who are you going to believe? How about common sense? A moron with a gun is more dangerous than a moron without a gun. Considering that nearly every fucking gun nut is a moron, I think we have a winning theory here.

4. If you are going to compare the effects of the Brady Bill and supposedly lower crime rates (those goddamned stats raising their ugly heads again) at least try to support your argument that crime is INCREASING because of gun control. Another point for the moron theory.

5. We must get rid of gun nuts because they suffer from apocalyptic visions caused by their lack of a usable dick and must compensate by having a gun.

6. If you're a moron, and scared of your shadow, AND you have a gun, you will probably kill the wrong person and injure yourself. This defines nearly 100% of those opposed to gun control.

7. An intruder, if left alone to steal your DVD box set of Friends and Seinfeld will probably leave your house without killing you. If he does find you, and you just say, "take whatever you want" then he will do just that. Thieves don't WANT to go to prison for rape or murder.

8. A gun fanatic man with fantasies about women being raped and strangled or women with dead rapists at their feet is a sick individual and needs help.

9. The first sensible statement you morons have made. Now... do you have the balls to do it?: When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense --give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p.125).

10. I'd trust the writers at ANY professional journal of medicine with information about life over the nutcakes who stroke their guns (remember that they don't have usable dicks) at Guns and Ammo.

11. One should insult a primary representative of the opposition because it feels so much better. Especially when you don't have a usable dick.

12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to a time that has long since come and gone. The world is not that simple any more and it's never going to be again. Grow the fuck up and get a pair you dickless wonders!

13. If you like old fashioned views on the way our country should be run, then go join a civil war or revolutionary war re-enactment club. Or maybe the SCA. But please spare us your ridiculous viewpoint on how things are done in the fucking 21st century.

14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble" (Gone thanks to Bush and his "free speech" zones) "right of the people to be secure in their homes" (a dream that left the world in the 1960s never to return... if you're a spineless fearmonkey who doesn't have a usable dick) "enumeration's herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people" (You are NOT a sovereign citizen nor should you be. You are a moron with a fear habit. ) ..."the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to a time when that made sense. It doesn't make sense anymore unless you live in a fucking rat hole. Tell me that you live in an area where drug dealers are just a few blocks away and you've been broken into more than once in your life, and MAYBE I'll have sympathy for you. But if you live in a gated community or out in the boonies, screw you. The worst possible thing that could happen to you is that you'll wake up from your haze and realize that the world isn't out to get you. In fact you don't even fucking matter.

15. We don't need guns against an oppressive government, because pea shooters don't do much good against tanks. Trust me, if the government became REALLY oppressive, there is not a dick lot of anything you can do about it. Bush is an asshole but we haven't hit the fully oppressive state yet. And if we did, we'd be screwed. A REAL dictator would sooner nuke his entire country than be deposed. Fat lot of good your fucking gun will do you then. But I'll be sure to laugh at you as you are running around waving your gun saying "This isn't fair! This isn't fair!!"

16. Rifles and handguns in the hands of moronic fearmoneys who will shot anything that moves aren't necessary to national defense. In fact they would be a hinderance. Let's put it this way, do you really want your stupid fucking users administering your network? Same thing. Gun fanatic != expert. In fact, I'll go so far as to say pro-gun fanatics NEVER = experts.

17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns or "assault rifles", period. Because private citizens tend to be fearful morons who think they know everything. See point 16 for more exapnsion on this topic.

18. It's easy to take something as touchy as the increase in school shootings and claim that gun laws are responsible even though there is NO CONNECTION. It's harder to actually learn something about the changes in American society at large that actually have caused the increase (How about, the rise in poverty, less funding for education, both parents HAVING to work to pull together a living wage, dietary changes that have been shown to cause massive behavior changes like ADD just for starters?) in school shootings and realize that they have NOTHING TO FUCKING DO with gun control laws.

19. The NRA needs to have their heads examined and Charlton Heston needs that silver bullet the NRA offers new members buried deep in his senile old brain.

20. The ramifications of taking a life are so complex that special training is necessary in order to use a gun properly, but most people would fail the ethics test which is why guns are so simple to use without thinking that they make murder easy.

21. The ease of use of a gun has NOTHING at all to FUCKING do with the ramifications of taking a life or seriously injuring someone. EVERY human life is valuable. Yes, even the guy who is stealing your Friends and Sienfeld DVD box sets downstairs.

22. Using the "guns are easy to use" argument doesn't strengthen your case you dilholes. That is EXACTLY the problem. They ARE easy to use, but the results are not easy to deal with. If you think you are justified in taking someone else's life under most circumstances, you need your fucking head examined. Put those delusions of being right out of your head. You're just a sick fucking bastard.

23. Morons with a sense of self importance and a gun that is really easy to use to take a life turn into slaughtering butchers who then try to justify their crimes by claiming self-defence when no threat was ever present. Someone breaking into your house is not a threat. It's an inconvenience.

24. Guns + morons = a disaster waiting to happen. I can't wait until some gun nut at a gun show goes ballistic and kills a few of you dorks. Then you all go after him claiming self defence. God I hate fearmonkeys!

25. Dontcha just love how they take unrelated concepts and put them together acting like they make sense?

26. Um yes, if it can be used to off a bunch of people in a crowd: "A self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a "weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

27. Here let me help you with that: "Most people can't be trusted to have a brain, so we should have laws against guns that come with sever consquences. Some people won't abide by them because they are moronic fearmonkeys. So what? That's life you dickless wonders.

28. Huh? How did we get to pornography? Never mind the fact that sex is the more likely way to ensure peace and feeling secure than a gun is. But then again you guys wouldn't know about that becasue you don't have usable dicks.

29. You can rarely justify the killing of another individual.

30. Another bit of truth! Amazing, maybe there is hope for the fearmonkeys after all! Probably not though: "The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution."

31. Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill (yes). Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit. (yes) Since when has the NRA and it's wild band of fearmonkeys ever paid heed to the UN anyway?

32. The average civilian is not going to be faced with a possible life threatening confrontation more than once or twice in their lives. Which means they need less ammunition if any. Whereas a policeman is going to be faced with a life threatening situation far more often than you fearmonkeys can handle. There fore, he is justified in having more ammunition.

33. How about instead we make sure that a person has an intelligence quotient over 140 and has to take a full psych eval before they can even go to a one year training course in using a gun properly (not the usage, but the ethics). I think that would be pretty fair. We'd probably find that there are VERY few people who are suitable candidates for gun ownership in this country if we actually did that.

34. This is a pretty ridiculous way of stating the obvious: "Police officers, who qualify with their duty weapons once or twice a year, have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain." Fearmonkeys will never be able to use guns properly when it comes to ethics. If you even think you are justified in shooting someone for just being in your house, you need to die.

35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self-protection because the odds of being faced with an armed and crazed killer or rapist are so low that I wouldn't even wager $.50 on it. Would you? If you would, then you are a fearmonkey who needs your head examined.

36. More rhetorical bullshit. A deskbound cop is still going to be pressed into service if needed and needs to be armed. YOU DON'T.

37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people, which is why no one "needs" them.

38. Buying guns from any manufacturer doesn't matter a dick in this argument. Just like your non-working member.

39. The average person is not mentally equipped to deal with using a gun from an ethical standpoint. Trigger locks are useful in delaying what could in many cases become a tragedy.

40. There should be an entry in the fucking dictionary that says "Bad People" = Fucking moron fearmonkeys who think they can handle guns.

User Journal

Journal: Just who is Twirlip of the Mists on /. ? 1

Journal by List of FAILURES
Wow. This just in. I think my agents in the field have figured out who Twirlip of the Mists really is! It makes complete sense! His self-professed arrogance. His unwillingness to see things any way other than his own way. His alluding to how he can't give away who he might be because it might be a bit compromising. I can no longer read anything by Twirlip of the Mists without hearing it in the Comic Book Guy's voice. That is why, from now on, I will refer to Twirlip of the Mists as CBG. :)
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Journal: Lord, it's time to *"lift the curtain" once more!! 2

Journal by List of FAILURES
Sounds like the folks on the right are all fired up about how their boy is fast losing favor. I wouldn't put it past the republican party to kill a few thousand Americans on U.S. soil to get their point across either. It's time to DO SOMETHING! Ain't it boys?! What do you want to bet "homeland security" will be "asleep at the wheel"? Or maybe it will be something that we couldn't have forseen? Yeah. Right.

Addendum: Not that I trust the source mentioned above, but: That's a lot more than what was previously thought. The report also says that even though about half of al Qaeda's leaders have been killed or captured, it still is very effective with bin Laden apparently still playing a key role.

So anyone care to tell me WHY THE FUCK ARE WE IN IRAQ!!!!??? Whatever happened to "smokin' em out" in Afghanistan? Whatever happened to chasing Osama all over the world? Any guesses on when we're going to "find" Osama? How soon before the election it's going to happen? God it's so transparent what the asshole cabal of Bush is doing, that it will be well deserved if our public doesn't vote him out and we get reamed for the next century by these idiots!!! That also means I'm definitely leaving this shithole.

As far as these new threats of terror on American soil, my bet is that the Bush cabal is going to pay for some thugs to dress in "middle eastern" looking gear and pull off something heinous. Then they will say, "due to matters of national security, this Fall's election is to be suspended". Funny how any political movement associated with the color red always seems to fall afoul of the average person. They put up a good face and say they're on our side, but in the end it's the same jackals who take from us and give us nothing.

In other news, just in case that pesky election happens, a friend of mine pointed me to this site as a way to take yet more money out hands and food out of the nouths of filthy republicans. Funny thing is, I don't buy anything from any of these companies anyway. Lucky me. Pssst. Pass it on!

And don't forget folks. If this election does happen, get out there and Vote No on Bush. If you don't want to see more terror, get that fucker out of office pronto! Yes, I personally will state that George W. Bush is a fucker. I said it. So when are they coming to take me to Gitmo?

*"lift the curtain" my ass!

Addendum: Just in case your really bored (tm), go here and see how POWs are supposed to be treated by any civilized nation. Hey Twirlip of the Mists: FUCK YOU! Take your ad-hominem label and shove it up your fucking ass! Sometimes when dealing with someone you don't like or respect in any way, it's very fitting to just attack the individual.

User Journal

Journal: America is No More 1

Journal by List of FAILURES

As long as the Bush administration occupies the Whitehouse, we will continut to see more and more of this kind of thing. Remember to vote Bush out in November. Bush MUST be removed from power if this country is to be guided back from the darkness it is currently pursuing.

User Journal

Journal: Amazing 1

Journal by List of FAILURES
I've been officially compared (or is that contrasted?) with one of my idols Al Franken. What an honor! If only the AC knew my real identity. Of course, there's no point in telling anyone. But, it's just so humorous to imagine the reactions. However, I can't entertain the thought seriously because even the slightest hint could be a bit of a problem for me. Suffice it to say that I am quite pleased with the results of my work thus far.
User Journal

Journal: OPINION: The United States of America 8

Journal by List of FAILURES

This is kind of a disorganized opinion piece. I still hope that it will get some people talking:

History is something that I've never really been interested in at all. No interest. Period. But, it looks like it will be necessary to delve into it to gain some understanding of the path the United States has followed to become what it is today. Specifically, I am interested in trying to deconstruct a few myths that permeate the American mindset. This was all spurred on by my viewing of the film, "The Atomic Cafe". It illustrated that we:

1. Knew nothing about what we were doing when we dropped it. We had no idea what would actually happen save for a few scientists involved in it's development.
2. The boys who dropped the bomb and were interviewed in some of the film's clips appeared to be stunned by what they had done. I don't think they understood what they had done until after they did it.
3. As a whole, it appears that the United States was largely made up of poorly educated farm boys who had good intentions. Today, it seems that while we don't have as may farm boys, we still have a very provincial mindset. Why is this? Is it intentional? (These are questions for you to think about)
4. The supposed "victory" and "peacetime" that the U.S. achieved by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki seemed to be nothing more than P.R. spin for a shocked nation. It's almost like we didn't want to accept the fact that we were no better than Hitler or Tojo, it's just that our toys were better. It seems that "peacetime" was just a collective head-in-the-sand period for Americans. We didn't want to think about what a horrible thing we'd done in Japan was. It really was the equivalent of someone pulling out a gun and plowing someone's head to bits just because they stabbed us with a few toothpicks. It was way out of proportion.

The historical basics that I know of at the moment are what any grade schooler should know. I will admit, I slept through most of my history classes throughout my academic career. So correct me on points that are wrong, but point me to references which back your corrections. Said references should be non-partisan as there are too many agendas these days:

1. The United States gained it's independence from England. The intention was based mainly around religious freedom. The original colonists wanted to practice their own religion without the oppression of the monarchy. The only question in my mind from this, is: What did the founding fathers believe when they spoke of religious freedom? Freedom for "christians" only, or freedom for ALL religions? I would assume the latter myself as it seems more in keeping with deists.
2. Our country has touted it's freedom regularly since it's founding. However, I think that the definition of freedom has been a moving target with ideological shifts over time. Initially, we spoke of religious freedom (and we still do, but oddly it doesn't appear to apply to buddhism, satanists, wiccans or even Scientologists [yuck] in public school issues). Then later we started arguing amongst ourselves over the idea that all men are created equal. Freedom of a different type became an issue. This new issue was freedom for the black slaves. We still fight the freedom for minorities battles today because some people out there don't want minorities to get a little help.
3. Again, enter WW II and we are talking about freedom from totalitarian rule. We were fighting dictators who were, unquestionably, a bad element in the global arena. However, it doesn't appear that we really did this out of the collective goodness of our own American hearts. We were trying to break out of the depression and war can be very profitable. We also had the threat of communism here in the United States, thanks to the poor economy, which we had to provide some alternative to. I won't claim that the post-WW II boom was planned. I believe it was a happy side effect. But, there really was no actually end to WW II. It just kind of morphed into WW III with conflict going on all over the world that we ignored for some time. Once we did get involved, we didn't do a whole hell of a lot other than fight and fight and fight. (Korea, Vietnam, The Middle East)
4. Which brings us to present day. Iraq is a distaster. It's time to admit that we've fucked up big time. Sure, we got the tin dictator, Saddam Hussein out. But we are responsible for putting him there in the first place. Can you imagine what the world would think of us if we had put Adolph Hitler in power before WW II? Iraq is a totally different ballgame. The average American knows nothing about what people from Iraq are like other than the "freedom hating" propaganda that we are fed on TV. This is the same as all the "dirty Jap" stuff we were fed during WW II. There is the "truth" that the government wants you to believe. There is the "truth" that the opponent wants you to believe. Then there is the real, honest truth. How can we hope to "win" Iraqi mindshare without knowing what they actually believe and want? Do they really want to live our version of "freedom" and "democracy"? Why are we telling them that their new democractic government will give them free health care and education, when we don't do that here in America, this supposed bastion of freedom?

How did we get here? Why are we so obsessed with freedom when, apparently, no one can really define what freedom is? I'm not free to say certain things here in the U.S. without raising the suspicion of our government. Hell, I'm not free to make an idle threat against someone in a heated debate without getting in trouble. Is that REALLY freedom? If I were gay, I'm not free to equate my union with a same-sex partner to a heterosexual marriage. If my partner and I adopt a child, we wouldn't be free to call ourselves a family. If I was black, regardless of my abilities, I would not be able to make it into certain colleges if it weren't for Equal Opportunity. As much as the bible beaters want "freedom of religion" in the schools, are they going to let my three year old excuse herself from creationism class in order to go read up on majick in the library? Or maybe even do something as innocent and simple as reading a Harry Potter book? How can we try and espouse freedom to the rest of the world when we are still having trouble with it here? This is a lot like the stereotypical psychologist who is counselling other people on their marriages, while filing for divorce. Somewhere along the line, we became a nation of hypocrites. Right now the hypocrisy is at an all time high. It hasn't been higher since the mid 1940s. But there is a signifigant difference now. At least, back then, more people actually had good intentions. Today, I do not believe most Americans have good intentions. They have selfish ones. They want us to win so that we may "rule the world". Most Americans are more concerned about themselves than they are about other citizens of their own nation. With that collective approach, how can we hope to help the rest of the world achieve freedom and peace?

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Journal: Global Citizenship 4

Journal by List of FAILURES

One of the things that I've felt ever since I was in highschool (Circa 1986) is that I am a citizen of the world. I was born in the United States to parents of a wide variety of nationalities (both white and non-white). I pesonally, appreciate other cultures from all over the world. I've travelled a good deal and can safely say that the idea of U.S. domination over the rest of the world is ridiculous. If the U.S. disappeared tomorrow, there would be a blip for the rest of the world and then life would go on as it has before. There is little that the U.S. does that is needed anymore.

It's time for Americans to wake up to this fact. It's not a BAD thing, it's bound to happen as the world evolves. We become a part of the global culture rather than try to enforce our way of life on everyone else. We've been doing that for a LONG time now and it needs to stop. The first thing we need to do is finish the Third World War.

Yes. You heard me correct. We have been embroiled in WW III since the McCarthy era and the so called "Cold War". We haven't had any peacetime since then. What we have had is a lot of head in the sand blindness to the fact that we have been systematically trying to make the world conform to us. World War III is the longest war we've ever been involved in actually approaching fifty years now. If you don't believe me, go watch the movie "The Atomic Cafe" and you will see what was conisdered the end of World War II but really marked the early rumblings of World War III. All the "peacetime" crap was a big PR spin to make Americans feel less guilty about the fact that they too participated in atrocities against humanity. Do not speak of peace until you truly achieve it! Mark my words, some day, historians will look back on the period between the 1950s and the early 21st century as a dark period in human history when fascism was given a friendly face through American television and consumerism.

Currently the U.S. has not progressed socially much beyond where it was in the 50s. We're still a nation of country bumpkins. The old war footage in "The Atomic Cafe" really undescores that point. We had rednecks dropping nukes in the far east with no understanding of what they were actually doing. The monkeys were given fire and set the forest ablaze! Seeing the attitudes of 1950s post-WW II America really sickened me. Now, more than ever, I have a strong desire to clear out of this godforsaken nation. You may not like what I say, or how I think, but there is that nagging little bit of suspicion in the back of your mind that I am right. You are living a lie. You have a choice to find the truth (which is hard to stomach) or to keep your head buried in the sand like generations before you. Here is the honest to god truth about the world:

There is no hero. There is no one who can save you. No matter what your best efforts are, if the system of lies that surrounds you falls down, you may perish. You should live your life with these thoughts in mind and go forward bravely knowing that these are certainties. THAT is true courage in living. Not all the macho bravado about being a patriot or dropping bombs on your enemies. If someone is attacking you, THEN you fight. "Pre-emptive strikes" are the sign of cowardice. The Taliban attacked us. So we are justified in finding them and erradicating them. But Iraq did not attack us. There is no justification. However, war is profitable and keeping the Third World War going is of the highest importance for the greedy cowards that want to rule the world.

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Journal: A Note to People NOT on my List of FAILURES 3

Journal by List of FAILURES

The only people on the List of FAILURES are those who need to be exposed. They are the vociferous right-wing suporters of Slashdot. They are the ones who NEED to be challeneged. Anyone who is just an ankle-biter needs to work harder to get on the List of FAILURES. It is an EXCLUSIVE club. The ridiculous dorks who are using pea-shooters to try and unravel my challenges will not get ANY consideration to be added to the List of FAILURES unless they TRY HARDER. Have at me fools.

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Journal: Well Bully for Theodore

Journal by List of FAILURES
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American Public."

Theodore Roosevelt an editorial in the Kansas City Star May 7, 1918

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Journal: More Deception from BMetzler 14

Journal by List of FAILURES
I tried. I REALLY tried. But BMetzler's little hissy fit about censuring Kennedy vs. censuring Bush really has no teeth. He claims that Sen. Kennedy used racial slurs during a filibuster in November. But, I can find no record of these supposed slurs. Not one. What I CAN find is a lot of right-wing whining about how the filibuster was wrong. (Hard to get a dose of your own medicine isn't it you fucking FAILURES? You can dish it out but you can't take it? Heh heh heh)

I'm an open minded sort, so I will be more than willing to take on any evidence of the supposed racial slurs. Post here quickly.

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