Most folks I know don't want to sit next to noisy heat-generating equipment in a lab, in the uncomfortable workspaces that often accompany them.

Keep only lab gear in the lab, with enough workspace for the just the physical hands-on type of work that's sometimes required.

Invest in switched remotely manageable power strips, remote KVM/Serial., and layer 1 switches (e.g. http://www.mrv.com/tap/physical-layer/ ). SSH/RDP access to the various lab hosts for things like packet capture, traffic generation, test automation, etc. Hire a cable-monkey (no offence intended to cable monkeys) to plug everything in. Document everything very very well.

Then, outside of the lab itself, set up some number of comfortable workspaces in a quiet setting, multiple monitors, etc., for the folks that actually need hands-on.

Let everyone else access it remotely.

Yeah, but the ones in original condition would then be worth a lot less if it weren't for all the Bubbas fucking up the rest.

Hah.. I was along for a test drive of a new car once with a friend. We drove about two miles without him realizing the parking brake was full on. Upon noticing an odd smell eminating from the car, the salesman remarked that the car was so new that you could still smell the "engine surficant."

Insanity is a government-sponsored crotch groper that doesn't know the difference between electromagnetic and pressure waves?

Perhaps insanity is looking to said crotch groper for safety information on a new and relatively untested radiation generating device.