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Where I work, everyone has an office. Like Microsoft, where everyone has an office, too, and where you sometimes end up sharing an office. But at least it's not cubes.

So I was lucky enough to have my own office. Not because I'm that good. Just because that's the way the cards fell. It was not a bad space, except they put a foosball table in the office across the hall. Sometimes it sounds like they're beating each other up in there, with the "Ohhhhhhh's" and grunts and various assorted foosball table noises.

Anyway, my boss's secretary comes by, and says I'm switching offices with an admin. Said another admin is starting on Monday, and because my office is bigger, they want to switch offices because two people sharing an office should have the bigger office.

Well, my office was NOT bigger. It's OBVIOUSLY not bigger. I actually measured it. It was 137 sq ft, whereas where they proposed putting me was 161 sq ft. I emailed her that fact, but got no answer.

So that was a lie. The real reason is, they wanted to put me in the office with a door that opens RIGHT into the kitchen. The guy who used to have this office has seniority, and I guess he was threating to quit if they did not move him. Because I've only been here for 8 months, they put me right next to the kitchen.

Holy mackerel, do they make a lot of noise in that kitchen! I can see why he wanted to move offices. Constant joking, laughing at the top of their lungs, dishes clattering, smells of food, etc etc.

My solution? I just closed the fuckin' door. I don't give a rats ass if anyone thinks I'm being anti-social or what. Anyone with half a wit would know why I close the door. I tell people to just come on in, don't bother knocking, I'll lock the door if I want privacy.

As a software engineer, the environment with the door open was just unacceptable. With the door closed, however, it's a great office. I have a view of the prairie, and can watch the praire dogs do prairie dog stuff. I needed some cheering up, so I got an iPod dock and I play classical music during the day whenever I'm doing something that does not require total concentration. I bought a nice art deco lamp, because the florescent lighting is hideous. It's actually almost nicer than my apartment. You can still somewhat hear the kitchen, but it's actually better that hearing that foosball table all day.