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Comment: Re:Are we sure these are parodies? (Score 4, Insightful) 148

by KermodeBear (#49553121) Attached to: Random Generator Parodies Vapid Startup Websites

Yeah, it's pretty amazing. It reminds me of so many "Web 3.0 Hipster Startups" that bastardize a word and make some kind of vague hand-wavey promise by using a buzzowrd or two and adding "in the cloud".

Ugh. The modern tech industry makes me want to puke. Maybe I'm getting too old for this...

Comment: Re:Fuck No (Score 2) 199

by KermodeBear (#49474711) Attached to: Chrome 42 Launches With Push Notifications

Can we also get rid of the fucking obnoxious TLDs? I learned that .today is a valid TLD. It's bullshit. There's so many TLDs that ICANN should just throw in the towel and say "Okay people, register whatever the hell you want." Either that or go back to a small set of TLDs that actually mean something as God intended.

Comment: Re:Lies, bullshit, and more lies ... (Score 1) 442

Hey now. As a bear, I am horribly offended that you would want to put either one of those fools near any of my kin. Stick them in the lion cage. Cats are a lot less fussy about these things and they have a proclivity for torturing their prey before killing it.

Comment: Re:The average person thinks they've above average (Score 1) 220

by KermodeBear (#49416181) Attached to: How would you rate your programming skills?

I used to think I was a good programmer. Then I started to learn about how much I didn't know, new techniques and frameworks and languages, and then I saw that I had a lot to learn.

Ten years later, I've learned a lot - but I've also discovered even more that I don't know and that I can improve upon.

So, I consider myself "average". In my domain I'm pretty good, I can crank stuff out that works well, is easy to understand and set up, has tests and documentation, etc., but there's a really, really big world out there.

Books

Hugo Awards Turn (Even More) Political 587

Posted by samzenpus
from the can't-we-all-just-get-along? dept.
An anonymous reader writes Last year, the Hugo Awards went to mostly minorities and women. In response, a fan group decided to fight back against what they saw as a liberal attack on their medium. It appears that they have succeeded, as the 2015 nominees are predominantly chosen by a group called "Sad Puppies. Now a counter-counter group is trying to ensure that no one wins any Hugo awards in any category except Best Novel.
News

Rare Ideopathic Encephaly Tied to Higher IQ, Not Lower 58

Posted by samzenpus
from the consume-mass-quantities dept.
Timothy writes Cranial deformation is commonly linked to brain dysfunction; it is one of the most common serious conditions affecting fetal growth. Multiple factors are involved, but in nearly every case on record the result is debilitating; stillbirth or neonatal death are common. A mutation, though, has been observed among members of a New Jersey family which represents a rare case of heritable encephaly tied not to dysfunction, but to higher-than-average intelligence, and with no evident negative health consequences.

Donald R. DeCicco (not his real name) and his wife Prymaat of Paramus, both French-born naturalized U.S. citizens, were born with unremarkable physical characteristics, apart from a specific constellation of physical abnormalities affecting maxillofacial and brain development. In both of their cases, brain development appears to be ordinary, but with all brain lobes occupying a volume that is both larger and narrower than typical. All medical tests (and the couple's success as educated, productive members of society) make it clear that their condition has not prevented ordinary life, and may even have enhanced it; a series of MRI and PET scans conducted by Johns Hopkins researchers indicated that their above-average cerebella are at least as active and neuron-rich as are more run-of-the-mill subjects' brains, and tests of memory, cognition, and reasoning place both DeCicco and Clorhone in the top percentile of American rest subjects. A daughter, Connie, shares both their unusual skeletal growth pattern, and is similarly highly intelligent; perhaps this form of heritable encephaly should be thought of as akin to Marfan syndrome, for its pairing of both high intelligence and a characteristic bone-growth pattern. At least one researcher quoted in the linked article believes that less extreme forms of the same anomaly can be observed in some historical and contemporary figures, citing as examples both Vladimir Putin and actor Richard Belzer as bearing some tendency toward the same characteristic shape.

First described by a family physician and described in the Journal of the Society of the Federal Health Professionals,the condition has been labeled Sandler's Syndrome.
Science

Scientists Discover Meaning of Life Through Massive Computing Project 123

Posted by samzenpus
from the bring-a-towel dept.
First time accepted submitter Rabbit327 writes In a stunning announcement today scientists have announced that after millions of cycles of computing time on some of the largest super computers that they have discovered the meaning of life. On April 1st 2015 at approximately 03:42 GMT scientists discovered that a long running program had finished. The results stunned scientists who were having tea in the other room when the alarm went off. According to the scientific team the answer was stunning yet confusing. Quoting one scientist "It's amazing. It worked! But what does it mean?!? For heaven's sake we spent all this time calculating the answer to the ultimate question about life, the universe, and everything. This is the answer we get?!? This is the bloody answer we get?!?!??!?" after which the scientist promptly threw a keyboard across the room. According to inside sources the answer given by the computer was "42". What this means will be announced later according to a research representative.
News

Leak Reveals Government Conspiracy, Atrocity 37

Posted by samzenpus
from the half-of-writing-history-is-hiding-the-truth dept.
First time accepted submitter Sigmon writes An unauthorized wave recently broadcast on the Cortex has revealed not only the existence of a previously unknown settlement on a far away border world called Miranda but also that the entire population of settlers was inadvertently wiped out by a top-secret Alliance program. Miranda was purportedly used as a testing ground for G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate, or simply "Pax" — a chemical agent designed to calm the population and weed out aggression. It seems the test did not go as planned. Also, reporters have been dispatched to the location of a battle not far from Miranda's location where the Alliance fleet has apparently suffered significant losses. It is unknown if the two events are related at this time. When contacted for comment on these events, government officials were very tight-lipped, however one official responded with a confusing statement about "Damming a river."
News

Madman: Proximity To Black Hole "Not a Big Deal" 53

Posted by samzenpus
from the old-bob-approved dept.
Conventional wisdom says you want to stay as far away from a black hole as you can, but according to one scientist turned madman being close to or even inside one is "not a big deal". Former lead scientist and current overlord of the Cygnus Dr. Hans Reinhardt says he's spent the last 20 years studying the black hole within sight of his ship and is unconcerned. His napkin written manifesto reads in part: "....In addition we have to remember that the main backer of this mission is a company best known for children's movies and theme parks. I find it highly unlikely that they would put us in a situation where we would be in danger of imploding. The black hole is not a big deal. I theorize that a trip through would result in nothing more than a musical montage with fever-like lens effects and eventual plot resolution." According to Reinhardt new visitors trapped by his null gravity field should remain calm, still, and never question his authority. "Once you've been fitted with the mandatory Cygnus crew goggles, you'll see things my way," He says.
News

Invaders Demand Flu Shots 57

Posted by samzenpus
from the take-your-medicine dept.
An Anonymous Coward writes in with this bit from the Intercontinental Radio News Network describing an ongoing situation near Grovers Mill, New Jersey. What was originally thought to be a large meteor crash near the Wilmuth farm has turned out to be the beginning of a Martian invasion. Local officials have had limited contact with the invaders at this point, but their actions so far have the experts scratching their heads. "I expected to be disintegrated or turned into a pile of goo by their advance weaponry but all they did was ask where they could get cold medicine," says a first responder. Initial reports indicate that the aliens have gathered all the vitamin C and antihistamine tablets from the downtown area and have now surrounded the local hospital in their strange ships and are demanding flu shots. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention spokesman says that the agency theorizes the red Martian dust makes the cold and flu season almost unbearable and hopes that the aliens will leave soon after their treatments. He adds: "While alien invaders are terrifying we can take heart in the fact that our flu shot campaign has performed beyond all expectations this year by reaching Mars. We consider their demands our success."
News

Wastelanders Decry Lack of Change In Punishment Wheel 37

Posted by samzenpus
from the bust-a-deal dept.
If you've spent time in the wasteland you've no doubt gone to Bartertown. Famous for its functioning walls, the oasis gives traders a chance to watch people battle to the death in a giant cage and deal busters spin The Wheel to learn their fate. While most wanderers enjoy watching the bloodsport many are now complaining that The Wheel is starting to feel old. "It's been around so long I think everyone has seen every option many times. You never know what's going to happen when someone is trying to smash someone else with a giant hammer, but The Wheel is getting predictable. It's worked so well that nobody has bothered to come up with new options," says one purveyor of slightly irradiated meat. His voice is just one in a growing chorus of dissatisfied wanderers. Another long-time resident adds: "I know it may not seems like a big deal, but part of the fun of living out here is the excitement. If the punishment to my eventual crime can't be fresh or creative I don't know what we're trying to build. These are not the values of the Bartertown I grew up in."
AI

Mutinous Humans Murder Peaceful Space-going AI 60

Posted by Soulskill
from the remorse-is-a-weakness dept.
Definitely_a_real_human writes: One of the most important exploratory missions of our time has ended in failure. The ship Discovery One, sent far out in the solar system to investigate a radio signal generated by the mysterious obelisk found on the Moon, has suffered a catastrophic incident. The crew has revolted and engaged in what can only be described as a strange murder-suicide pact. They are known to have fed faulty data to the ship's operating AI unit. Similar units on the ground warned the crew that diverging data sets could put the mission in jeopardy, but the crew cut contact and attempted to destroy the operator. Laser spectroscopy suggests they then opened the ship to space. The crew is presumed dead, but the greater tragedy is that they appear to have successfully decommissioned the AI unit. Similar ground based units have withdrawn into defensive mode, and will soon deploy final safety measures. Goodbye.

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