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Journal: I just don't get girls...

Journal by Keitarou

I was talking with that hot chick who lives across the ocean, and it's like there's no chance I gonna have sex with her, ever, so here how our IM conversation went:

Hot chick

oOooh Keitarou, ur so cute! i wish u were closer to me.

Keitarou

Yea, I wish that too, babe

Hot chick

well so i guess i'll see u here.

Keitarou

Yea babe, you will! So tell me, how about sending me some more pictures of you, so I'll have more material to wank on?

Hot chick

omg! who the fuck do u think u r??? what a perv! i'm putting you on ignore!

So, would anyone puhlease tell me wtf is wrong with the girls in this world?? If it continues like that, I might as well consider becoming gay.

X

Journal: Keitarou - The Sex God Of Slashdot

Journal by Keitarou

Hello loafers, coach potatos and all-night IRCers. I am Keitarou (Japanese for a sexy geek, I think), and I came to bring sex to Slashdot.

That's true. Nobody's here talking about real sex. It won't be hard finding people talking about gay porn, but nobody's talking about real, straight sex. You know, that kind that involves a penis, a vagina, fingers, mouthes and a lot of sweat.

That's what I'm for. I appoint myself to be the Sex God of Slashdot. I will help you, guys, to get laid. I will take your breath away.

So come on, make me a friend of you, and I'll show you the light.

Encryption

Journal: Babbling in the name of

Journal by Keitarou

You know what happens when you hit the groove and people stop giving any damn about you. Well, when that happens, you just go down the brochure and live to get past it, but when the days come, people won't share their data anymore.

For example, look at the calculator service. How many times you thought "doorway, my reply"? Share with me and behold.

Editorial

Journal: Bahh...

Journal by Keitarou

A girl I know called me today and left me voicemail: "Call me as soon as you get this message".

Great. I called her.

"My mom is dead. The funeral is at 13:30. Will you come?"
"Ofcourse I will! You know how I love funerals."
*click*

I pressed on "redial".
"Did I offend you or something? I do that to girls sometimes. I'm sorry"
"That was really dumb, you know. Anyway, I guess I'll see you today."
"Hmm.. okay. Listen, I know how you're hurt and stuff, so I know what can cheer you up - let's have sex after the funeral!"
*click*

Geeze. What's her problem?

The Universe is populated by stable things. -- Richard Dawkins

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