I absolutely disagree that this was good idea. Buying into the wifes drama and secrets makes no sense. This is a typical situation that you don't escalate anywhere. Don't talk to your co-workers about it, don't discuss it. Pretend it didn't happen and continue your work. The wife is bonkers, do not play along at any level.
this isn't about her being female.
I agree that her situation with the wife and the hula hoops aren't really a sexism thing, but the coworker that started reverting her patches silently after professing his love certainly is. The problem with the pathes should be easy enough to show, but it's going to be difficult proving that he actually did confess his love.