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Journal: Greatest Movies Ever: Everyone Says I Love You

Journal by John Seminal
This has to be the best musical I have ever seen, and I am not a fan of musicals. For me to sit through singing is a work of God. I have seen this one over and over.

First, the All-Star cast: Woody Allen, Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts, Alan Alda, Goldie Hawn, Ed Norton, and other hotties.

The movie is about family. A really fucked up one. Woody was married to Hawn, who is now married to Alda. Alda wants to hook Woody up with an friendly slit. Hawn just wants her two boys happy. But then Woody finds Roberts in Paris. He gives her an orgasim, and she shits. True love? No, but there is a psychological observation if you are astute enough to catch it. Maybe astute is not the word, it is like wearing a baseball glove to catch a meteor.

I just looked up the word astute, and it does not convey what I wanted. FUCK! I guess you will never know.

Anyways, back to the review. The movie rocks. Go get it. VHS is better than DVD. For some reason, the transfer on DVD is awful, and the VHS is nice.

Oh, the "I'm Through With Love" song/performance is not to be missed. It alone is worth the price of the DVD.

User Journal

Journal: Drinking Games 1

Journal by John Seminal
One of the funnest things to do in life is get shitfaced. And there is no easier way than to play a drinking game. While everyone has joined the century club (what, you didn't? you lame fuck). For those who do not know what the century club is, it's 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes. If you are like most people, chances are you aren't doing the math til about half way throught the game. The shot glass looks so little, dosen't it? Lemme help you. That is 200 ounces, or 16 beers. Now that hour and a half ain't looking so good? But do it anyways. Women will be impressed, they can't help it. It helps to have a woman join the century club with you, it is a real bonding moment, bonding at the hip.

Okay, you are now a member of the century club. It was easy, right? Well, gather some freinds for a game of Asshole. Asshole is a easy game to master. A deck of cards is divided among all the players. The importance of cards goes from king to the lowest at ace. Card 2 is important because it resets the number on the table to zero. Okay, this is how it is played. A card is placed down. The next person has to put a card of a higher value down. If you do not have a card of a higher value, you have to take a drink and pass your turn. The card 2 resets the number back to 0, like a get out of jail card. The first one who gets rid of his cards is the winner and president. The second person out is the vice president. Then the various ministers. Last person out is the asshole. In any game, a president can make everyone else drink. The VP can also make everyone else drink, except the president. The asshole can not make anyone drink. The asshole also has to clean the table and buy new beer for everyone.

Okay, but I have no friends, what drinking games can I play? Well, do you have a TV? Cause here is a great drinking game to play while watching the Dukes of Hazzard.

Round one (take one drink whenever the following happens):

  • Bo leaves the keys to the General Lee in the car and it gets stolen.
  • Boss Hogg makes a reference to money.
  • Boss Hogg tries to frame the Dukes for something they didn't do.
  • The name "Cooter" is mentioned.
  • A door falls off a car. Two if it's a police car.
  • A car chase occurs.
  • A car jumps something.
  • Boss Hogg is eating. Two if Rosco tries to take Boss Hoggs food.

Round two (take two drinks if the following happens):

  • Anyone claims to know a shortcut
  • Uncle Jesse has to be helped getting in and out of the General Lee
  • Uncle Jesse says over the CB "Shepard to Lost Sheep".
  • A sherrif from another county is involved in the plot, three if it's the sherrif from Chickasaw County.
  • Bo and Luke trick Enos or Rosco into letting them out of jail.
  • There is a pair of crooks, one being the brains and the other the brawn.
  • A jump scene is stopped midway for a commercial.

Round Three (finish off the bottle):

  • Daisy Duke appears in her "Daisy Dukes" and you get an ass shot.
  • An attractive woman other than Daisy appears in Hazzard County.

But I'm an intellect and I don't watch the Dukes of Hazzard. There is a game for you too. Beer Chess. It is played just like a normal game of chess, but every time you lose a pawn, you take a drink. Lose a knight or bishop, take two drinks. Lose a rook, take three drinks. Lose your queen, finish the bottle.

I might add a few more games here if I see any responses.

HELP!!!! I'm being held prisoner in /usr/games/lib!

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