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Comment: Carrot Juice Is Murder (Score 2, Funny) 628

by JJRRutgers (#27363983) Attached to: Study Suggests Crabs Can Feel Pain
Listen up, brothers and sisters Come hear my desperate tale I speak of our friends of nature Trapped in the dirt like a jail Vegetables live in oppression Served on our tables each night This killing of veggies is madness I say we take up the fight Salads are only for murderers Cole slaw's a fascist regime Don't think that they don't have feelings Just 'cause a radish can't scream {Refrain} I've heard the screams of the vegetables, scream scream scream Watching their skins being peeled, having their insides revealed Grated and steamed with no mercy, burning off calories How do you think that feels, bet it hurts really bad Carrot juice constitutes murder, and that's a real crime Greenhouses prisons for slaves, let my vegetables grow It's time to stop all this gardening, it's dirty as hell Let's call a spade a spade, it's a spade it's a spade it's a spade I saw a man eating celery So I beat him black and blue If he ever touches a sprout again I'll bite him clean in two I'm a political prisoner Trapped in a windowless cage 'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips By killing five men in a rage I told the judge when he sentenced me "This is my finest hour I'll kill those farmers again Just to save one more cauliflower" How low as people do we dare to stoop Making young broccolis bleed in the soup Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes Set potted plants free, don't mash that potato, ah I've heard the screams of the vegetables scream scream scream Watching their skins being peeled fates in the stir fry are sealed Grated and steamed with no mercy you fat gourmet scum How do you think that feels leave them out in the fields Carrot juice constitutes murder V8's genocide Greenhouses prisons for slaves yes your compost's a grave It's time to stop all this gardening take up macramé Let's call a spade a spade it's a spade it's a spade it's a spade All we are saying is give peas a chance.

Financial Crisis Soundtrack 31

Posted by samzenpus
from the what-is-the-sound-of-the-dollar-falling dept.
German musician Johannes Kreidler made a soundtrack of the global economic crisis composed by running financial graphs through SongSmith. It gets political in a few spots, but is bleakly funny.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do. -- R. A. Heinlein