Hard work my arse.

I work for a German company from the UK. They employ two people to do the job of one person here. Their 'efficiency champions' reputation is complete bollocks. Their engineering performances are just as crap; if it's not written down in a manual, specification or procedure, they panic. They have no idea about 'getting the job done'; their flexibility is invisible.

I can't tell you what version of Sharepoint we're using on Office 2007, but it's been nothing but poor version control since 2003, but now with added workflow! UserX has finished work on the document, would you like to...

Collaboration means employing someone to cut and paste all the sections and chapters into a 500 page report*.

Neat!

*I know master documents can be used. I even created a fully working template for this company. If only the rest of the non-tech workers could remember how styles work - there are only a dozen in my template *facepalm*. The style for numbered bullets is named "Numbered bullets" ffs. It was trashed very early on.

You think you've got it bad? I get 5:Funny when I'm trolling!

This is the first time ever I've been able to view TPB from work (without resorting to that long and drawn out process of removing my phone from my pocket).

I now have nine URLs for TPB, up from the single one I had a few weeks back. Thanks Virgin Media. Thanks BREIN. Thanks for court orders. Thanks.

Fits and giggles all round.

Thank you muchly.

I checked out OpenStreetMap maybe 12 months ago with the full intention of correcting my local area. I had a mental image of 15km2 that I could help with.

I was extremely disapointed. Not only was my local area perfect compared to Google and Microsoft, it also told me where the drain covers were located. It kid, but it had far more info than I could ever hope to gather myself.

OpenStreetMap needs to advertise.

Both teams had a "clean sheet". The goalkeepers will be pleased. The four defenders, if that formation is used, will be just as pleased. In the professional game, bonuses will be issued.

Tactically, both managers stopped the other team playing. I'm not fond of this tactic, but I respect the reason it's used.

There may have been 20 shots on goal by each team. Some were on target, which the goalkeeper saved. Some were nearly on target forcing the crowd to go "Ooooooooooooh". Some were wide of the target and everyone laughed.

Crowd precipitation. It's the reason I go. There's nothing like a good tribal chant with your peers on a Saturday afternoon. It can make you weekend if you start the sing-song. "You're shit and you know you are".

Maybe someone was sent off for elbowing, kneeing and then headbutting (Barton). Maybe there other incidents like racism (Terry - you know what you are). Maybe someone died and was brought back to life on the pitch (Muamba).

If the referee was a Wanker, it's another talking point for the week ahead. Threads and threads of talking points.

It's all part of the experience known as football.

The British are a lazy people, so it shouldn't be too difficult.

We're so lazy, our smoke alarms come with a snooze button.

Jokes aside, it's called Minimum Effort Efficiency.

Host countries like my own.

We've been watching the torch being bussed around the country via the BBC's live stream. I don't know about other countries, but ours have flashing 30mph signs that only flash when you're going above the speed limit. We've been counting...

I'm not doing so well at the game. I've only counted them speeding twice.

The laws don't apply to those in charge.

Corrupted.

MS Word + MS Outlook.

Some of us type posts in above apps, spellcheck, copy and paste. Because, you know, we shouldn't be doing the Slashdot thing at work on IE7 with no spellchecker installed.

It works the other way too.

I joined a famous car company in 1991. I was one of 50 apprentices. 4 were female.

Each year, 50 new apprentices were taken on. 4 were female.

I stayed 8 years.

How many females from those apprentaships were left on the shop floor when I left?

Zero. The work was too dirty for them, the management wanted them in the offices, where I eventually landed, and none of them took a shine to the work.

Over 30 females got promotions out of 400 people. I was one of the few men who made it up to the clean offices.

Cold wind in Portugal.

Come to Spain. Sit with us. Speak English all week. Eat English all week. Drink English all week.

South of Spain: It's England with better weather (not today or yesterday or the day before - gee it's hot here. We also have better beaches in England.).

That mirrors my experience.

My contract with the job centre required than I send 3 CVs every week to the jobs they had on their board. Forget that I was sending more than that a day, to companies clever enough not to use the job centre.

How much are those iTunes books worth secondhand?

I love my used books. If they weren't available, I probably wouldn't read books at all.

There's nothing strange at all.

The only reason those results are on Bing is because Microsoft scraped Google's search results.

My wife. She actually believes they are informing her of new products on the market. If there's an advert for "salty,sugary, causes-instant-death, crunchy toffee bread", it'll be in our food cupboard a week later.

I know. Divorce is the only option.