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Journal: Mod points 1

Journal by HBI's_girl

I actually got 5. I know a few people have been talking about them lately but I can't remember who has or whatever.

So, if any of you needs/wants something modded etc lemme know! They expire on Jan 17.

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Journal: A poll of sorts 6

Journal by HBI's_girl

Ok so after reading about Technolust's fun night, and the fact that he was actually considering going into work today, I decided it would be fun to do a poll of sorts. Essentially it is a "stupiest thing you have ever done after a night of drinking". So, this wouldn't be something you did while you were actually drinking, but maybe the next day or a few hours later. If you had enough to drink you don't necessarily have to be sober.

I can't think of anything I did cause i just don't drink so much, but I have a story of my sisters. During her Junior year of college she and her friends thought it would be fun to party the night before the SAT's.

Around 3:30 or so they decided, hey we have the SAT's tomorrow we should probably get some sleep. So they slept and showed up at the SAT's and 7:30am still a little drunk. The day started out badly for my sister when she misspelled her name (she was with it enough to correct herself)... but yeah... SAT scores for here were none to stellar. 1 Kaplan SAT prep course and retaking of the exams later (with a full nights sleep and no alcohol) she did much better.

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Journal: A sucessful night! 6

Journal by HBI's_girl

HBI's daughter (one of them) is having a birthday party tomorrow (rather later today as it is now almost 4am on Saturday). What she really wanted for her b'day was a computer that would run the Sims.

Being the techno geek that HBI is, he of course decided to build her a computer out of one of his older ones (hes now down to 5 running computers I think, not counting mine).

I have always wanted to learn to build a computer from scratch, and HBI was patient enough to walk me through it tonight. The computer just passed its first booting up test! So, tonight, I sucessfully put together my very first computer. I realize this feat means very little to most of the people who will be reading this, but it is an exciting thing for me.

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Journal: Murphy's Law 2

Journal by HBI's_girl
I can't remember who posted about migraines, but I think it was yesterday. And I know I posted that I hadn't had one in awhile.

I spoke way too soon. I have been plagued by one today. :(

I hate irony.

UPDATE: Picked up HBI from the airport tonight. Was still feeling blah in the car (little dizzy etc) and he was testing his sugar. So I asked him to test mine too. Blood sugar level for me: 74. Dr. HBI says my migraine today was likely the result of the low blood sugar and that I in general have poor sugar control, have the worst empty calorie lack of vitamin diet ever, and since I am not a religious vitamin taker, hes surprised I haven't died of malnutrition yet.

We're eating our chicken caesar salads now and I guess its time for me to start being more vigilant about what I eat and taking vitamins and exercising.
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Journal: I am glucose

Journal by HBI's_girl

"You are glucose. People feed off of you. You are sweet, caring, and a source of energy for everyone around you. You can inspire others with your creativity and depth, and you can keep people alive when in times of famine. People love you...or at least the way you taste."

2 things... my boyfriend is a diabetic... that can't be good.

Secondly, as I am taking the quiz I laughed over the least fav death option and especially the "dying a virgin". So I laugh and tell HBI what I am laughing about and he goes "so if I'm about to die and you weren't around, would you be upset if I had sex with someone else"

I can just imagine guys saying that as an excuse for cheating. "But honey! I had to have sex with her, I thought I was about to die"

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Journal: Lent, and other stuff 1

Journal by HBI's_girl

I decided to follow suit and post my own "what I am giving up for Lent" journal entry. I am doing this partially so I will have the list written down where I can refer to it easily. Well, no actually, I am doing this entirely so I can have it written down where I can refer to it easily.

The past few years I have generally given up chocolate, or caffeinated soft drinks, or both. And the year I gave up both was miserable... and that whole Sundays don't count thing DEFINITELY came into play. That and caffeine free diet Dr. Pepper were the only things to get me through it.

The downside is that I am a chocoholic in the worst way, so I would feed my chocolate cravings by munching on something else. So I am not giving up chocolate. Not even going to try.

I'm not sure if anyone reading this will think I am a slacker for what I have decided to give up, but a lot of these things HBI can tell you are hard for me to actually do. So! Without further ado... the list:

1. I am giving up:
      a. non diet soft drinks
      b. all vending machine type foods

2. I am taking on:
      a. going to the gym at least 3 times a week
      b. taking the multitude of vitamins I should every day (you would be shocked at how
          easy it is to forget to do that)

I am trying to decide if I want to give up buying any "fun" stuff... like food and photo supplies wouldn't count... but new makeup and clothes and shoes and purses would.

I've got about 2 more hours to decide!

I think actually I will give up the purchasing of fun stuff -- we'll see if I can actually do that one.

I feel kinda slackerish, cause reading that list it doesn't look too bad. But then I am also the over achiever who tries to always take on way too much. So we'll see.

On a completely different note (at least from the outside), I have a newest gripe! My church started a theatre ministry 3 years ago. We do a different play each year and all the money we make goes to a charity. This is my 3rd year in it (Fiddler on the Roof for all who are interested)

So heres my gripe. There are a few of us, myself included, who are very definitely bona fide 1st sopranos. Sandy can do a d over high c, I can do an e over high c (and got to an f in my car once but it was in my car and no one but me heard it). Anyway, I have no problems singing 2nd soprano. Its actually kind of fun.

So there are these women (not girls, we're talking 30-40 year old women) who are so stuck on themselves that they absolutely refuse to sing anything but 1st soprano. Is there really that much of a difference between a g and an e? Not really.

Now lest you all think I am complaining because I was forced to sing 2nd, I wasn't. As of last night the musical director had me singing 1st on everything, but I could tell the 2nds didn't have enough people to carry for a lot of the stuff (the high notes are always heard better, its like a law of nature). So I asked her if I should switch, and she said if I wanted to that would be great because "there are a lot of people who just can't hold the tune if they aren't singing melody".

Maybe shes right, and thats why we have the prima donna 1st sopranos. I prefer to think its because they are under the assumption that if they don't sing 1st, its like they are admitting that they cannot hit the notes.

Anyway! I'm really not a bitch I swear. Just something that struck me mid last night during rehersal. (hmm. perhaps I should give up petty bitching about people too)

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Journal: One of those nights 4

Journal by HBI's_girl

I am definitely having one of those nights. You know, those nights where things seem to be ok but quickly snowball once you start trying to actually do something?

In this case its futzing around with code. I started doing something I thought I could do. Really I did... Whenever I write and test code I work my way up slowly; you know... adding one thing in, compiling, testing, adding something else in, recompiling, retesting and so on.

It started out so well. But then I hit a wall. I am sure the path around the wall is very easily navigatable, but when I hit walls sometimes my brain stops functioning. And I mean really stops functioning. Like I forget how to do normal code because I get so worked up about my current problem and just turn into an idiot.

So I'm pretty much in idiot mode right now. I am sure I will come back to my current problem and laugh at myself for being silly/stupid... but I haven't yet reached that elusive moment of clarity.

Hopefully things will click soon. I keep thinking if I look at the file one more time I'll get it. Maybe there is something about the implementation I am overlooking. I dunno.

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Journal: Stressful Conversations 13

Journal by HBI's_girl

So I was going back and forth about writing this one and was convinced to go ahead and put it out there. Not sure if this is for responses or just because I need a place to vent my frustration.

Have been going back and forth for the past few weeks about what I wanted to do with life... fun topics huh. With HBI's help (god bless him, wonderful boyfriend that he is), I have finally reached the conclusion that I don't _have_ to know what I want to do career wise right now. I am only 24, I have time to try things out before settling on an intended career path. And amazingly enough, I am actually ok with this. (I tend to be a little on the control freaky side at times... slight ocd maybe? I think it runs in the family, my sister makes me look tame)

Anyway! So I had come to this conclusion. Well, right now I am in two classes, photo II and fantasy art (advanced painting class). I had thought I wanted to be a drawing a painting major and was headed down that course when I had an epiphany of sorts last week. When it comes to drawing and painting I am really not very self motivated. Getting to the point where I can actually complete my assignments is like pulling teeth. And the thought occured to me that if I was "destined" to do anything with that, I would be more self driven in that area. All the artisty, animator types you hear about grew up drawing, draw in their sketch pads daily etc etc. In fact, a lot of people in my Fantasy class are like that. And while I was not the worst in the class, I just don't have a love of doing it. So it seemed wrong to me.

Today I talked to my photo professor about all of this. I had come to my own conclusion, that dropping Fantasy would be best since I really wasn't interested in doing drawing/painting as a major any longer, but I wanted to get a second opinion. Now, I know I could have asked my Fantasy prof but he is very biased in terms of anything drawing and painting. So he would have told me to stick the class out (and every student I talked to agreed with me on that.) Conversation with my photo prof went great! I had showed her the stuff I printed today, and while she did have suggestions for improvement, she thought they were beautiful.

As for the to take Fantasy or drop it, she agreed with my reasoning and gave me suggestions for classes to take if I wanted to pursue the animation thing. She said she would love to pursuade me to do photo but she understood my desire to leave school and work for awhile. (I have been thinking about doing that too -- I already have 1 degree - computer science). So... unfortunately, all of the above is just a very brief background to the stressy conversation I referred to in my title.

If my quick background was a little hopping all over the place and hard to follow, I apologize... I just wanted to get the basics over with so you (hopefully) wouldn't be too confused.

Heres the issue. I get home and tell mom about all of this, and she was actually very supportive and said I was going to school again to try things out and help me figure out what I wanted to do. I was shocked at that response, expected her to be much less understanding, but was very pleasently surprised.

Now then... she and dad go out to dinner tonight. And apparently she happened to mention the desire to drop fantasy to him. As soon as they get home, he calls me and says he wants to talk to me.

He thinks I should reconsider dropping fantasy because "we started this course with a set goal in mind" etc etc, and I needed to continue towards the goal even if things got "hard". "You are in school, and its not supposed to be easy or fun, its work" etc etc. So photo prof and I discussed this aspect of things... if it was a lower level class I needed for anything else, I would suck it up and continue. But this isn't a lower level class. Its an upper level advanced class, and I have no desire to be there. And he doesn't get that.

He just thinks I would be more employable and have a better career path if I did graphics or animation because "what are you going to do with photography".

I realize that he wants the best for me and all of that, but this is not the first instance of him doing this. I had planned on moving in with HBI last August, but when dad found out he freaked. Pulled just about every trick he could to guilt me /force me into staying, because it was "in my best interest". For some reason, he seems to think I am unemployable without a second degree... like someone my current one isn't enough.

Its like, he has these dreams for me but doesn't leave room for my own. Its very frustrating. I hate the fact that he can make me feel so bad about myself that these "conversations" we have put me to tears regularly. Its what causes me to cry most above all else.

I'm not sure how to really conclude this... each attempt seems to end in more rambling by me.

I am sure I left out pertinent phrases or parts of the story and for that I apologize. I hope it is at least understandable for anyone who is reading it. If nothing else, it was a good outlet for me to vent. Clear my mind of it all a little bit.

I do not think I am going to stay in my Fantasy class, as he is suggesting I do. I guess I will update or reply as needed to include things I left out.

User Journal

Journal: Hello World! 26

Journal by HBI's_girl

Hmm, well I am not sure how often I will actually use my journal but it seemed like I should at least say something, if only to not have a blank white page staring back at me when I clicked on journal.

I am pretty much your slashdot newbie. HBI actually had to just talk me through adding him to my friends list... For any of you who actually read his journal entries, I am obviously his girlfriend. I suppose I could be some sort of stalker fan of his, but instead I am actually more screwed in the head cause I am dating him! (heehee, joking of course)

So I guess things you need to know about me. If you are reading this, I must apologize. I am very much a stream of conciousness type of writer, so any journal entries I write are probably gonna jump around a lot. But hey I know what I mean right? For those of you who have no clue what that means, I'll fill ya in. Way back when, when I was in Junior High, I had a lit professor (but I think we just called him a teacher then) who had us do stream of conciousness journals. The rules were as follows: you sit down for 10 minutes and just write... You don't think about what you are writing, you just write whatever comes to your head. And you definitely do not go back and edit what you wrote later.

Its actually a pretty cool little exercise and its kind of my non assignment writing style. (Emails, journal entries, etc) If its a paper or something that I actually get graded on or affects jobs or whatever I do proof read, but god... a proof read journal is no fun at all.

So yeah... anyway. I guess I have lurked around on here for a few months now. I generally just look at stuff HBI has posted or journals of a few of his friends. He threatened at one point to get me out of lurker status, but I assure you my appearance has nothing to do with him... well except for the fact that he does post here. But he didn't convince me to join in on the fun.

I think I am interested to see how my stay here goes... I generally try to not keep up with politics etc. I guess I could describe myself as a borderline geek. I understand the whole computer science, coding, technology stuff, but I generally don't seek out info about it. So I think it will be quite some time before I actually make comments on non journal threads. But hey, I did join /. so I guess its possible I could start posting on non journal threads someday.

I think I have bored you enough for now... yes you! The one person who is reading this :) Perhaps I will say more later.

"Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core." -- Hannah Arendt.

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