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Journal: Dear Cumguzzling Slashdot Editors 5

Journal by SexyKellyOsbourne

I know you're constantly modding me down as "Overrated" whenever I write a really good post that you just happen to disagree with. After it gets to and stays at 5 after 12 mods or so, I see about 5 overrateds being done within a minute, all obviously coordinated over IRC.

You can't live without me -- I'm one of the few people left who has the guts to play devil's advocate and keep the conversation alive here, whether you like it or not.

You Slashdot editors are all a bunch of limp-wristed pantywaists -- just get it over with, make your life simpler, show the world exactly what kind of passive-agressive censors you are, and use the BITCHSLAP script on me!

Love,

SexyKellyOsbourne (wanna fuck?)

User Journal

Journal: Heh, I trolled Alan "ANAL COCKS" Cox 3

Journal by SexyKellyOsbourne

All I did was, forsaking a possible first post, take the story from the pre-slashdotted site and change a few things around -- generally making things wrong, changing words like "open" to "proprietary," adding in support for Palladium, and making WebTV and Apple part of the group, resulting in this post.

I woke up hungover the next morning with a needle hanging out of a bruised arm, coughed up a cigarette I swallowed, and went to see how my trolling did. Lo and behold, Anal Cocks had replied on how he wants to change the GPL because the consortium is including Palladium! HAHAHA!

Some Swedish speakers figured out my other post was changed, considering that I changed the speaker's name to Flansost, the Swedish equivalent of the word "dick cheese" -- but that still didn't stop me from getting modded up, either.

User Journal

Journal: Eh, banned again... 1

Journal by SexyKellyOsbourne

Thanks to Kip and Zio, amusing but nevertheless very mediocre trolls on my subnet, I've been 72-hour banned from posting once again -- but at least I went out with a bang!

I'm too lazy to use a slow and crappy proxy, so I guess I'll get a life and have unprotected sex orgies with crack addicts in the housing projects and Section 8 apartments for the next 72 hours.

Next time, I'll google cache link to goatse or blacklungs or killyourparents, I suppose -- dms100.org didn't work in the cache, and there was no WAV or infinite popups like there should be.

Hopefully, it revolted some people since it still is a picture of gay porno, though I'm totally desensitized to it, so I would never know.

Any other good sites to link to?

User Journal

Journal: I got a life, and now it burns when I pee! 2

Journal by SexyKellyOsbourne

People kept telling me to "get a life" and quit doing things like writing stupid things on slashdot, and I felt alone, sad, and sorry for myself -- and just before I pulled the trigger on the shotgun in my mouth, I broke away from hitting the refresh button to get first posts, hopped in my car, and headed downtown.

I went to the White Swallows Bath House, and raped a homosexual -- a member of the local LUG -- by pinning his skinny nerd body down with my fat ass and slopping my cunt all up and down his dick, which was made hard by shooting up his blue vein with crushed viagra mixed with saline solution. Though he was really small, I rode him till I almost fainted, and it was so good.

He was in tears, and was lisping on about how I violated him with my fishy fuck hole and smashed his pelvic arches, but I was totally satisfied. However, a few days later, I came down with a fever, developed these painful sores inside my twat, and it feels like I'm pissing razorblades whenever I go!

I don't have health insurance, so it'll just pass, right? This isn't permanent, is it?

User Journal

Journal: Yes, I post stupid shit on purpose! :P 10

Journal by SexyKellyOsbourne

I mean, I get modded up to +5 for fucking POPE-BASHING. My entire post archive is nothing but trolls, flamebait, and erroneous-information-filled karma whoring, and yet I now have enough karma to post at +2. I even did an early goatse link that didn't get modded down for at least an entire hour.

All you have to do is make up some bs, post something remotely on-topic, and fill it full of whatever flamebait you want -- and most importantly, post early. The whole mod system is a joke, just like much of the journalism on this site.

Trolling (or whatever you want to call it) is/was my alternative to video games, though now that I invested in another decent system, I might do it less -- and even though I can run Ut2k3 or bf1942 with ease now, I still can't resist laughing my head off when people either flame me or write long, serious, well-thought out responses.

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock. -- Henny Youngman

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