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Comment: Oooh, head hurts..... (Score 1) 260

by GiSqOd (#15486879) Attached to: EMI Launches Advertising-Supported P2P Service
From the article summary:
In the ad-supported, free tier, users will be able to search the network for specific tracks, and those tracks registered with Qtrax will be made available for download in Qtrax's proprietary ".mpq" file format. Users will then be able to play the downloaded .mpq file in full-fidelity sound quality for a pre-defined number of times. Each time a consumer plays a track, the Qtrax player will also offer fans click-to-buy purchase options, as well as the opportunity to upgrade to a premium subscription service for a flat monthly fee.

Anyone else reminded of Monty Python?
Humphrey: All right, settle down. Settle down... Now, before I begin the lesson, will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you. Now...
Wymer: Sir?
Humphrey: Yes, Wymer?
Wymer: My younger brother's going out with Dibble this weekend, sir, but I'm not having my hair cut today, sir.
chuckling
Wymer: So, do I move my clothes down, or...
Humphrey: I do wish you'd listen, Wymer. It's perfectly simple. If you're not getting your hair cut, you don't have to move your brother's clothes down to the lower peg. You simply collect his note before lunch, after you've done your scripture prep, when you've written your letter home, before rest, move your own clothes onto the lower peg, greet the visitors, and report to Mr. Viney that you've had your chit signed.

Listen, EMI. If reading a summary of your service gives me a migraine, it's unlikely I'll ever try it. So, if I've got it right...

I search for a user who has the track I'm looking for, ignore all the ads, download it in .mpq (whatever the hell that is), find a player that will play said .mpq (let me guess, your Qtrax player?), dismiss pop-up windows offering "click-to-buy purchase options", dismiss pop-up windows offering the "opportunity to upgrade to a premium subscription service for a flat monthly fee", download the track and play it a "pre-defined number of times", and then ____(?), unless I've previously signed up for a "premium subscription service", in which case I download a different version of the track (?) that either (a) plays an unlimited number of times, (b) plays until I discontinue my "premium subscription service", or (c) plays a pre-defined number of times, but more times than the free service version; unless I used the "click-to-buy purchase options", in which case...

... and that's where I suddenly stop caring. I'll just BitTorrent whatever I'm looking for, thanks. Or, if I'm feeling charitable, there's a handy little iTunes store that skips the bullshit (mostly) and just asks for 99 cents.

Sorry, EMI. Life's too short to figure out your service.

HELP!!!! I'm being held prisoner in /usr/games/lib!

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