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Journal: Movin' on up 1

Journal by Fux the Penguin

Huh, I didn't really think I'd find myself back here again. I moved on to another persona a time or two over the past few months, but got busy, and just didn't have to time to indulge.

Oh well...right now the cable's out, so I figure, wtf not? I remembered my password to the Fux da P account, so let's see if we can get back on top. A quick cut n' paste or two, and I'm back into positive karma land. Let's see if we can get that +1 bonus going again for a bit, and then have some trolling fun. Ah, good times, good times.

So far, I'm doing pretty well. Time will tell.

User Journal

Journal: Movin' on 10

Journal by Fux the Penguin

Well, time to move on. I got mod bombed twice the other day. Apparently two people with grudges got some mod points, went back to my old posts, and moderated them all Overrated. -10 karma in like 2 hours. Anyway, it's just not worth getting the 'Bad' karma back up to something decent, so I'll create a new account. Stay tuned here, and after I've got my karma whoring done and it's time to start trolling again, and I'll provide a link to my new account.

Later,

Fux the Penguin (?)

User Journal

Journal: Weapons, Fun, and Profit! 2

Journal by Fux the Penguin

My post attached to E-bombs: Technology Update:

First, the geek in me says: "Cool!" I know the military has been working on these kinds of weapons for decades, and it looks like they're getting closer. Anything that adds to the arsenal is a win in my book.

Now, it's too bad we didn't have this weapon last year for use in the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. Imagine the effectiveness of such a weapon! We could have annihilated the entire high-tech infrastructure of Afghanistan far more quickly than we could have using conventional weapons. The invasion would have been far more effective if the Taliban's high-tech, integrated command and control technology could have been disrupted from the start. I'd just like to see those camel-jockeys try to coordinate their attacks without their iPaq's and virtual reality headsets! Good luck with that one, Ahmed!

However, I'm a little concerned with the effectiveness of this type of weapon from a ratings point of view. How exactly do you keep the audience entertained without any explosions or visible signs of destruction? I really don't think people are going to stay tuned through the commercials for this. "After these exciting messages from our sponsors, watch all the lights blink off!" Great... Perhaps, as part of this research, they could integrated a conventional weapon with an E-weapon. I guess what I'd like to see is a combination E-Bomb/MOAB. Then you still get the visual effects, sure to scare the poop out of Terrorists (and their camels), with the added bonus of disrupting their sensitive, high-tech infrastructures. It's a win-win! Just make sure the next invasion is during sweeps week.

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Yet again, rated "funny." Damn crack smoking moderators...

User Journal

Journal: Moderation: solved 1

Journal by Fux the Penguin

Well, I think I answered my moderation question. My karma was "neutral." Then I posted my e-bomb troll. It got moderated twice, first +1 Funny, and then -1 Overrated (fucking pussy moderators...if you think something is a troll or flamebait or something, then grow some balls and mark it as such. Don't hide behind the non-meta-moderated Overrated mod). Anyway, then my karma dropped to "Bad." So, even though there was no net change in the rating of my post (started at 1, ended up at 1) I still lost karma, because the positive Funny mod doesn't help my karma, but the negative Overrated mod hurts my karma.

User Journal

Journal: Moderation 1

Journal by Fux the Penguin

This is not a troll in any way.

I was wondering about the effect of Funny mods coupled with Troll, Overrated, and Flamebait mods. Now, you don't get any karma for Funny moderations (check the FAQ...it's there) but you do lose karma for Troll, Overrated, etc. Now, ordinarily, you can't lose any more than 2 karma points for a single post. You start at 1, get modded down twice, and that's that. If you use a +1 bonus, it gets removed after two downmods and no longer affects your karma (it's true, check the FAQ).

So, what happens if you start at 1, get modded +5 Funny (net +4), and then get moderated down to -1 Troll or something (oddly enough, this has even happened to someone who only posts informative and insightful posts like me!). Do you still only lose 2 points? I mean your karma gain/loss on a post is determined by the individual moderations, not by the net change. If it was just the net change that matter, then Funny mods would still help you, so obviously it's done on a per-moderation basis. Heck, it happens pretty often with my posts where they bounce around between Funny and Troll, so that seems to me that you could lose an unlimited amount of karma off a post. Just wondering.

User Journal

Journal: Perhaps I was a bit to subtle... 1

Journal by Fux the Penguin

My Post attached to Encyrpted Cellphone Hits Market:

Wow, $4,000 per pair? That seems awfully high, but I'd imagine there are many legitimate uses of such technology, that may interest people to shell out that much cash. For instance, credit card authorization, police communication, and drug trafficking come to mind. I work for the second-largest supplier of solid-gold cell phones and pagers, which are often used by celebrities and collectively engaged urban businessmen, and I could certainly see where many of our clients would have use for this kind of device.

I am a little concerned, though, that this kind of technology might fall into the wrong hands. For instance, have the manufacturers considered the applications for which terrorists might use these? I hardly think that the NAH6 would like to see their products used to slaughter innocent Americans, or even Amsterdaminians. Encryption is certainly a worthwhile tool, but I think it's far more likely to be exploited by the wicked than the virtuous, as it's the bad guys who've got something to hind.

Perhaps I would be more supportive of NAH6 if they were to provide a backdoor for the NSA, FBI, CBS and the ALF. These organizations, then, could catch evil-doers in the act before they can inflict massive damage to our American way of life. Truly, the only way to secure our liberty is government supervision of the most invasive sort.

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Didn't really fool or piss off anybody, and only got "Funny" mods. Admittedly it was not my best work, but I was trying to be significantly LESS obvious this time than I have been in previous attempts. Now, I have been posting an AWFUL LOT lately, so perhaps the mods have started to recognize the name? If that's the case, it may be time to switch personas again. It just isn't as much fun unless some crazy ass clown writes a two page long rant pointing out every insignificant thing wrong with my post, in excruciating detail. Oh well.

UPDATE: ...and then along come these asshats to bitch at me. Oh well, better than nothing.

User Journal

Journal: Revolutionary mindshare schemas are no laughing matter!

Journal by Fux the Penguin

My post attached to So, HP, What Exactly Are You Trying To Sell Us?:

I know, here on Slashdot we frequently harangue CNET for their decidedly pro-business anti-linux slant, but I think they erred the other way here. Having read the article, it seems pretty clear to me, that the author simply wasn't competent enough in the field to conduct the interview. Seriously, would you send a wet-behind the ears English-lit major to interview a Nobel prize winning physicist for the cover story in the "Physics Home Journal?" I'm sorry, but if you can't tell me the correlation between the eigenvector of the (sparse) matrix describing the arrangement of crystal lattice structures in a semi-solid and the mass/energy waveform coefficients, you should be out covering donkey shows, not hard science! (BTW, the eigenvector is directly proportional to the waveform's beta coefficient).

That said, check out this gem:

Q: Stripped of all the jargon and market-speak, can you succinctly define what Adaptive Enterprise is supposed to be about?
A: I define AE as a business strategy for customers who want to respond in real time to changes affecting their business.
Q: That could be boilerplate applying to any company. What's the special sauce?
A:The secret sauce that HP brings is the ability to link business processes--which obviously are a manifestation of a company's strategy--to IT gear. The big breakthrough is when those two things are synchronized, so changes in the business environment can dynamically trigger the IT changes necessary to support that business change.

He should never have needed to ask that twice. HP's response was clear to anyone who's been struggling to cultivate dynamic convergence in their disintermediate, yet robust, technologies.

I work IT for one of the lower-end Fortune 500 companies (I won't mention any names, but we're the 2nd largest manufacturer of Internet-enabled personal sanitation devices in the U.S.), and we're seriously looking at HP's AE technology for our next round of upgrades. I am so tired of having to re-virtualize all our front-end functionalities every time the boss-man wants to streamline our synergistic e-services. Now, if I simply had a frictionless front-end action-item, right there in my real-time vortal (vertical portal) I'd be made.

Anyway, Slashdotters, don't believe this CNET FUD. I think AE definitely has the potential to recontextualize the debate on revolutionary mindshare schemas.

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Somehow, this got moderated as "Funny." What the hell? I think the mods must be smoking that cheap $3 crack again. This is CLEARLY +5 Insightful. I bet half these idiot moderators wouldn't know an optimized extensible metric from an e-enabled visionary market. Idiots.

User Journal

Journal: Stronger Solutions

Journal by Fux the Penguin

My post attached to Minnesota Senator Says Email Tax Might Reduce Spam:

I think many on Slashdot will agree with me that this proposal is, essentially, unimplementable. The SMTP protocol simply isn't designed to interface into some kind of online micropayment transaction system to make everybody pay their tax. That said, I'm very pleased to see a member of Congress acting proactively on the issue of spam (i.e., unsolicited email, not the delicious lunch meat).

I guess the problem with Mr. Dayton's approach is, it doesn't go far enough. You can't very well force everyone to change their mail servers over to a system with the transaction processing software in it. On the other hand, the government has got to DO SOMETHING, as no one is interested in lower mortgage or nubile young coeds willing to "bare it all!" for you. Therefore, the only logical option to stop spam (i.e., unsolicited email) is to consolidate the email facilities of the United States. Perhaps we need the creation of a Department of Internet Security.

Imagine, if you will, an underground labyrinth of servers, all secure .NET enabled heavy iron monsters, guarded by severe-looking men with machine guns, and laser-wielding robots. Every email account in the United States will be routed through these machines, and sophisticated genetic algorithms will filter out any messages containing the words "penis enlargement," "exciting timeshare opportunities," and "URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR AID IN AN EMERGENCY BUSINESS TRANSACTION." Keep in mind, privacy advocates, as an added bonus, this system could spell the end for hated systems like Carnivore (or whatever they're calling it these days) because, with every email server consolidated in a secret underground lab in New Mexico, there's no need to monitor your local ISPs traffic. It's a win-win. As an added bonus, this system could very well stop terrorists in their tracks. Just imagine the look on poor Ahmed's face when DIS (Department of Internet Security) stormtroopers burst through the door of his flat, guns blazing, after intercepting his "Dear Osama, the attacks begin at dawn" email.

Truly, there is no downside to this plan. I urge all /.'ers to write their congressmen immediately, and say, with one clear voice, "URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR LEGISLATIVE ACTION: Please stop Osama from acquiring penis enlargement, such that he may steal our nubile young coeds willing to bare it all at the luxurious timeshare condominium financed with a low, low interest rate!" Think of the children, people.

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My entirely reasonable proposition has been rejected by the Slashbot masses. For shame.

User Journal

Journal: The sad state of the soysauce vending machine industry

Journal by Fux the Penguin

My post attached to Qwest & Cablevision Launch VoIP Service:

Great! I'm very pleased to see the deployment of a new technology like VOIP, because I can certainly see how it will increase access to telephone service in metropolitan areas, while decreasing costs for the consumer. At the same time, the increased deployment of high-speed interconnects may help break the old 56K bottleneck that's throttling the Internet.

While I'm always glad to hear about the deployment of new technologies like VOIP I do worry because it's coming at the hands of YAHC (Yet Another Huge Corporation). I certainly applaud Qwest, but what will this do the mom-and-pop telecoms in the area? How are they supposed to compete against this behemoth? I hope that before switching to this fancy new service, people stop to think about the effect this may have on the hard-working, middle class telecom owners who live in their neighborhoods, and whose children play with yours.

Sorry if that sounded like a rant...I'm a small business myself. My company is the second-largest soy sauce vending machine manufacturer in the U.S., but recently we've been dwarfed by the likes of Wal-Mart, IBM, and Kikkoman. Don't worry about me, though...worry for our way of life. Sadly, it seems the mom-and-pop telecom and the mom-and-pop soy vending industry may be a thing of the past, just like the agribusinessman and the zebra.

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Yet again, the clueless moderators, slaves to the corporate machine, attempt to silence me. Don't cry for me, brothers. I'll carry on. One day, the majestic zebra will glide through the air, king of the skies yet again. Just you wait.

Just you wait.

User Journal

Journal: SuSE and Linux? Grandma's bane, I tell you what.

Journal by Fux the Penguin

My post attached to Gateway forges partnership with SuSE

I can't say I'm not shocked. I've always thought that if Linux was ever going to break into the mainstream, it's got to find its way onto OEM PCs produced by a major manufacturer who offers actual support for the operating system! This could be the one event that finally makes it happen.

Now the bad news, though. If this actually goes through, two things are going to happen: first, Gateway is going to be flooded with calls from people who bought a Gateway PC, got it home, turned it on...and saw something other than that familiar multicolored Windows logo. They're going to see some green (or perhaps spotted) lizard, instead, and think that either a) gateway ripped them off, or b) their computer's been attacked by hackers with a reptile fetish. Then, they're going to be marching right back to Gateway Country in their Jettas and their Escalades, demanding a refund. Second, once they find out there are no refunds, only cold bitter truth and a rain that stings like mellow-yellow on a paper cut, they're going to be stuck with Linux. And, I'm sad to say, Linux and Grandma don't mix.

Seriously, I think Linux is absolutely fantastic for geeks like us, who like to do things the hard way. You know, the kind of people who bother to download hundreds of megabytes of porn of the internet, instead of just paying a hooker like everybody else. However, John Q. Everyman just doesn't think that way, and if you don't think our way, you're likely to hate Linux. How well do you think grandma is going to react to the tech support guy telling her that all she needs to do to get her RAID 5 array up and running is to recompile her kernel? Look, I really don't think Grandma is going to want to go through all that kind of trouble, as she's got a delicious apple pie in the oven, and the ladies from the Daughters of the Confederacy are coming over for bridge later, and she just has to tell them about how her grandbaby, Julie Arhoolian, finally made it big in Australian pop music, even though she can't approve of the lyrics and the skin-tight leather bodice that lifts and separates, thank you very much.

See, it's stuff like that that makes Linux unique. It's kind of like the signs at the amusement park that say "You must be this tall to ride this ride." That's Linux. If you're not willing to go through the nightmarish hell that is a Linux install, and then recompile your kernel three times just so you can watch some DivX porno, then you should be out pickin' daisies and skippin' rocks with Jim B. Everywho instead of toiling in your parent's basement, desperately trying to get that winmodem to work under the newest Linux kernel.

The only way we're going to save Linux is to get it off Grandma's computer. There needs to be a big splash warning on the front page of every Linux distro site: "If you can't name the entire original cast of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," then please click here [microsoft.com]. And no, we're not counting the 'New Dax' because that was really gay the way they offed her after Worf finally finds true love."

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Man, the mods on slashdot are smoking the cheap $3 crack. This is as insightful as it gets, and they mod me down? Obviously, a travesty of justice.

User Journal

Journal: The Proud Native American 4

Journal by Fux the Penguin

Here's my post attached to JBoss Offers Lawsuit Indemnification

First, I think it's great that the JBoss Group is doing this, because we're going to need this kind of support from Big Business in order for open source software to succeed at the Enterprise level, or even at the Voyager level. Too often I've heard complaints from PHBs, PBSs, and PBJs that Apache, with or withoutmod_python [perl.com] and mod_perl [python.com] support simply wasn't scalable in the Enterprise environment, or wasn't trustworthy without lawsuit indemnification.

Considering this, however, I'm not sure this is the way to handle the problem. Shouldn't JBoss, instead of seeking to ward off the lawsuits over the rather insulting and tasteless use of the name (and name recognition!) of these proud people, instead simply change the name? Yes, I know that many Native American groups have decried the use of the Apache name for a simple open-source software project, and have threatened to make their demands much, much more vocal, and much, much more litigious since the appearance of Apache Geronimo (adding insult to injury, for sure!). The Native Americans have suffered enough at the hands of the white man. The White Man took their land, stole their women, and raped their horses for centuries. Now, they seek to commercialize even their name, thereby robbing this proud people of the last vestige of their heritage.

Consider this, fellow hackers. How often here on Slashdot do we writhe in anger and gnash our teeth at media outlets who confuse us with "crackers?" I for one hate being mistaken for an inbred redneck. Consider how these fine Native Americans feel, with only the memory of their lost greatness, along with the white devil's firewater and casino loot, to console them? Not good, I tell you, not good. It's time for us to take a stand with our loin-cloth clad brother, the Native American, and tell JBoss, "No more, indian-givers. Take your small-pox infected web server and depart, before we red-skinned savages scalp you, and sell your hides at county fairs and craft shows. This week: Tony Bennett. Two drink minimum."

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Now, first off, I really didn't know that /. was full of so many damn racists that they modded me down for this incredibly insightful and heart-felt post. That said, that downmod put me back down to "good" karma, so I don't have my +1 bonus anymore :( Too bad, because slashbots just shit themselves modding up somebody with a +1 bonus. So, I'll have to karma whore a bit more before I do any more trolling. For shame.

User Journal

Journal: How to save the hubble

Journal by Fux the Penguin

Original post attached to NASA Debates How and When to Kill Hubble Telescope:

First, I'll preface my comments by stating that I think the Hubble Space Telescope has been a fantastic boon to science. It has allowed us to peer farther out in space, and farther back in time, than we ever thought possible. This has helped increase not only scientific awareness among the public, but also helped push for greater funding for space-related enterprises in Congress. After all, there's nothing like a picture of a quasar, burning brightly as it streaks around the sun, to hypnotize a mentally deficient Senator into loosening the purse strings.

That said, I think the government has been spending far too much money on the telescope over the past few years. Sure, at first it was cheap and easy, and the "oooh's" and "aaahhh's" of delighted schoolchildren certainly help drown out the cacophony of "this costs HOW much?!" cries from whistle-blowing dog washers. So, perhaps, then it's time to make this enterprise profitable! I've been hearing a lot about space tourism, and I think this could be just the ticket to turn this failing boondoggle around.

How much do you think Lance Bass, Kenny Blankenship, or Julie Ahoolian would pay to travel to space to look through the telescope with their own eyes? I'd imagine quit a bit! Then, they could even turn the telescope around, and use it to peer back at our own home, Mother Earth. I bet you could see your house from up there! The only thing that worries me is that they may use it as a sun-focusing death ray to burn up enormous swaths of our fair countryside. However, that is a small price to pay to keep the Hubble up and flying, and to please celebrities.

The funds from this, of course, will pay to maintain the telescope. Also, keep in mind now that China dominates the skies, maintenance on the telescope could be outsourced to cheap Chinese immigrant labor. This seems like a win-win-win for all concerned, and I encourage you all to write your congress-people, and tell them, with one clear voice, "Keep our Space Microscope Accessible to Celebrities with Chinese Coolie Labor!"

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An alert reader also mentioned that we can outsource the call center to India, further increasing our savings, and profits! I like the cut of this man's jib! Excellent point, sir!

User Journal

Journal: Web focused enterprises 2

Journal by Fux the Penguin

I think it's great that Sun is finally breaking into the commodity hardware business, while still optimizing their syndicated dynamic solutions marketbase through enhanced Solaris offerings. While this may be true, they have a long way to go to true cross-media functionalities, as the AMD processor is currently unable to support XDML enhanced DSS encryption, which is required in order to implement enterprise-level mindshare paradigms.

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Oh man, this is heee-larious! Now some idiots are following me around, replying with links to my journal, and acting as if somehow I've been "found out!" Ummm...since I put all this stuff in my journal, do you really think I care? Do you really think most knee-jerk slashbot moderators are actually going to check anybody's posting history or journal before moderating? Do you really think the absolute asshats who decided to point out all the flaws in my "use the hubble for space tourism" troll are going to actually THINK or READ before posting? Hardly! If they did, this wouldn't be /.!

I laugh at you.

User Journal

Journal: Moizle

Journal by Fux the Penguin

Let's be clear here : only a company like AOL could do what it did...

Mozilla and Gecko are the most promising cross-platform development framework. The constant increase of Linux in big companies and governmental organizations (at least here in Europe) opens a set of excellent opportunities for Mozilla.

blah blah blah

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Well, I needed some more karma, so this is just a cut-and-paste from the article, which got up to +5, and then knocked back down when posters responded to it and pointed that out. However, for the first time, one of said asshats actually READ MY JOURNAL!!!. Quoth the asshat:

Please mod parent down. The poster simply copied Daniel Glazman's comments on mozillaZine's forum. Also, the poster quite clearly states[slashdot.org] that he has no qualms about posting other peoples' material in his journal.

Quoting:
"And so another glorious trolling session begins. My last account became well-known far too quickly, and the slashdot janitors killed all my karma. Kinda hard to troll at -1. So...fresh account!"

Ha!

User Journal

Journal: Oh man this is a good one...

Journal by Fux the Penguin

First, I deplore the actions of the music industry with regard to their heavy-handed dealings with purveyors of online music like mp3s4free.com. It is time for the RIAA, Sony, BMI, ASCAP, DRUF, AUXPC and NORML to get it through their thick heads that it's not working anymore! Consumers are simply not interested in shelling out their hard-earned dollars for the latest pop tripe like Britney Spears or Julie Arhoolian (big in Australia, where the ISP hosted mp3s4free.com). They need to be stopped now, or this won't end in society's backwaters like Australia; next we'll see lawsuits against Napster 2 and iTunes.

I fully understand that the recording industry has the right to stop the theft of their music. We all agree that stealing is wrong. Regardless, if their music is so bad, and the prices fixed for this terrible music is so high, then theft is a reasonable alternative. You wouldn't condemn a man for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family, would you? Then please, before you throw the first bird, look inside and ask if you've ever stolen a CD? That's what I thought. e tu, brute.

Finally, I can't say that I'm too sorry to see 'mp3s4free.com' go, because the proprietary mp3 format is just as bad as DRMed WMA garbage. I can't stand the lossy, scratchy hissing garbage I find in these Mp3s off 'mp3s4free.com' and the like. Until og vorbus (OVS) is accepted as the universal music standard, I may have to go on a hunger strike.

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Oh man I can't believe this shit got up to +5, and people kept modding it up even after several slashbots responded and called me on NORML and "Julie Arhoolian." Oh man, that was funny. And I sure pissed off a bunch of people by calling Australia "society's backwater."

Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing.

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