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FortKnox's Journal: How to survive IKEA, the walkthru! 14

Journal by FortKnox
For those of you who read video game walkthrus, you'll find this IKEA walkthru quite funny. Its good stuff.

BTW - good job on all the comments from the last je. I was just being silly, but you guys took the princess bride + source control thing way overboard. Lets just say I was cleaning the monitor at various times throughout the day ;-)
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How to survive IKEA, the walkthru!

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  • boyfriend of tuxette and tuxette herself must go to IKEA soon to get a proper computer desk...

    don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna...

    • You must not have read the walkthru, yet ;-)

      Read it if you are dreading the trip.
      • That was very funny! However, I've had a revelation in the past month. I've decided that I actually care about my furniture all of a sudden. I have a nasty colored purplish-pink La-z-boy loveseat which is very comfortable but looks like hell and a beige couch. They're not really the epitome of style. I looked around at some furniture stores and actually was mildly excited at the possibilities! One could actually make a babe lair if you set your mind to it and were so inclined--and some of the stuff is
    • so, you want your bf to spend _that_ much time i jail? *v~
    • I was at Ikea in Elizabeth NJ last weekend and I was EXTREMELY impressed with a few of the desks they had there. Unfortunately, they don't seem to show those up on their website.
      • We know what we want (we made a few trips before Christmas), so it's just a matter of going there and getting it. But we're lazy. Our shiny new computer is on the coffee table now, and I really don't want it to be on the coffee table. It's way too low (or the sofa is too high up). Anyways, it will kill the shoulders and neck and stuff in the long run...
  • This walkthrough NEVER mentioned the hardest level- filling the car with your stuff.

    THe driving home level isn't that bad (who needs rear view anyway?!)

    Even better is the "Carrying really frickin' heavy boxes into the house without dropping them. Oooops!" and then the "home assembly level" (don't forget to use thecheat code to get the CORDLESS SCREWDRIVER which will cut your assembly time in half!) followed by the "Mount the ATTYTID wall cabinets all by yourself" bonus round!
    But watch out for the "It did
    • by btlzu2 (99039) *
      While you're peeing on your shoes, I'm learning something! Do The Math!

      Hey, is that sig from "Curb Your Enthusiasm"??? I think that's where I heard that...great show/sig!!! I still like the comparison between the single guy in Communist China and a married guy in the U.S. the best though.... :)
      • by mekkab (133181) *
        Hey, is that sig from "Curb Your Enthusiasm"???

        TOTALLY. My wife and I were dying with laughter this past Sunday. Oh my goood-golly-gosh!

        I still like the comparison between the single guy in Communist China and a married guy in the U.S. the best though

        Hunh?! What is this you speak of?! Must have been in an episode I missed...
        • by btlzu2 (99039) *
          Oh, that's right, it's a special feature on the DVD for season 1.

          The "pilot" episode had Larry David going back to standup comedy and one of his bits was asking, "Who do you think has it better? The single guy in communist China or the married man in the U.S.? In one, you're free to leave your house at will, but can't leave the country. In the other you can't leave your house without permission, but you can go to other countries. I've gotta go with the guy in communist China."

          Or something like tha
          • by mekkab (133181) *
            but I didn't realize until recently that the whole show, is improvised on the spot for the camera--no script

            I didn't know that until I saw it on the lead-up spots for the new season, but it explains a whole lot.

            I just added the season 1 DVD's to my netflix queue, so I'll let you know about the single guy in communist china in about...oh, lesse, 170 divided my 3 per week, gives me, approx 57 weeks.
    • the FIT ITEMS IN CAR expansion pack for ikea is much easier if you use the BORROW DAD'S VAN cheat code. it takes all of the difficulty out, but unlike most expansions, you still have to play through all of the original levels every time you play, so for me it's more about the points than the challenge.

      my wife and i have played in lightning mode as well. the problem with lightning mode is that the collect items don't always have time to spawn in the warehouse level after hours of other people's play has c
      • yes indeed... When playing with handicap CIVIC or ACCORD one thinks about using the cheat code PAY DELIVERY COMPANY, but that hurts your score a lot. I used the DAD'S CRV code for a different game, GET BIG TV HOME, and after a the challenge of GET 200 LBS THING WITH ODD CENTER OF GRAVITY DOWN STAIRS AND ONTO TABLE, Dad got to play his own game of DEAL WITH HERNIA. Fun all around!
  • Very funny; I made sure to NOT DRINK MILK while reading :)

    The article doesn't mention the sure cure for avoiding (and curing the S.O. of all desire to ever visit) the realm of Ikea:

    Upgrade [furnituresquare.com] your [momastore.org] tastes [cantoni.com] to at least a level 9 (saving throw +5 against cheap European furnishings).

"Just think of a computer as hardware you can program." -- Nigel de la Tierre

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