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FortKnox's Journal: I am Roger... The Shrubber 21

Journal by FortKnox
Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

I'm embarassed to mention this (especially because there is a good chance glh will read this[1]):
This weekend I got Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Special Edition. Before this, I never owned the movie.

So there is the most 'ungeek' like thing about me. But I did remedy it.
Here, to make you all not recoil in disguist, here's some quotes:

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
...
Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
...
Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!


What makes you think she's a witch?
Well she turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better.


Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot: No, I'm not.


King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.


King of Swamp Castle: You only killed the bride's father, you know!
Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
King of Swamp Castle: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!
Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?



[1] glh and I were good friends when we were both first introduced to Monty Python. We'd quote it for weeks at a time, too...
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I am Roger... The Shrubber

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  • I don't own any Monty Python either. I also don't watch Star Trek, didnt go see Star Wars in the theater, and never once watched FireFly. I suppose I'll eventually buy some MP as well as a few volumes of Star Trek and ST:TNG as it's the only 2 I ever managed to get into (10 years ago though). I do want to buy "The Twilight Zone" [amazon.com] Collections - all 156 episodes spread out over 45 DVDs in 5 9 DVD sets at only $89 each. $445 is worth it for such a great series. Some of the most original stories I've ever seen t

  • Five is right out.

    Ahh, the sheer genius.
  • ...when I was desperately attracted to guys in high school who would carry on and on and on quoting Monty Python films & sketches (even before I had seen any).

    I watched Meaning of Life, and sadly enough, lots of it went way over my head (well, I got the sex bits... but not much else). It was better watching Holy Grail. But I didn't really become a connossieur until I purchased The Final Ripoff album my freshman year in college and listened to it *over* and *over* and *over*.... Something about the rep
  • Wow. Now that is just freaky. I saw that movie Saturday night, but I had to borrow a friend's copy because I don't own it.

    So I'm now behind you because I still don't own it!

    jason
  • I don't own any Monty Python movies. Actually, the only DVD I own is "The Atomic Cafe." Do I win freakishness points for that one?
    • Just wait until you get some discretionary income. Two years ago, we had nothing in the house that would play a DVD. Latest count is six players (including three computers and a PS2), and something like a hundred DVDs. If you buy DVDs used or overstock (Half-Price Books), or are interested in old movies, you can get them really cheap. We've probably averaged around $7 apiece (of course, Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Matrix and the special edition of Monty Python and the Holy Grail pulled t
  • 'Tis a flesh wound

    An English or African Sparrow?

    A duck!

    I want to sing!

    I'm being opressed!

    Top 5 movies ever.
  • :) Thanks for the memories.. I will have to go out and find a copy myself now...

    I definitely miss those days. Quoting MP 24-7, playing cards in 7th period commons.. that was a lot of fun.
  • Look, property is theft, right? Therefore, theft is property. Therefore, the movies are mine.;)
  • Get Jabberwocky.

    Holy Grail is a good start, the best, really, but your MP lexicon will be woefully incomplete until you commit Jabberwocky similarly to memory.

    I've been quoting them for 25 years. I actually took a tape recorder to the movies so I could record dialog. I replayed those tapes endlessly. This was not only pre-DVD, it was pre-VCR.

    Of course, then there's the "modern era." Life of Brian.

    If I were stranded on a desert island with just three movies and a way to watch them, I could die a happ
  • that I watched that movie only three weeks back, you can be excused for this transgression of geekitude.

    I mean, you have watched LoTR: RoTK more than twice, haven't you?

  • I bought my first Python DVD -- Life of Bryan. I can recite scenes from Holy Grail and Meaning of Life like any good geek, but I'd never owned my own copies.

    We are all individuals.

    • mmm.... Python.

      I was raised on Python; Dad had me watching 'the grail' and 'the life of brian' at an early age. I didn't get a lot of the jokes 'til later, but... my next-to-youngest brother still likes the 'ministry of silly walks' sketch. :)

      Sadly, I own all 13 mini-box sets of the series, as well as Life of Brian, the Grail, and the meaning of life.

      Hi, I'm kshgoddess, and I'm a total geek.
  • Yes, it is true, I don't have Holy Grail (or any of the other Python films) on DVD (I probably taped them all off the TV at some time)...

    But I do have the BOOK! HAHA! Hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Ho-ho-hooo! It is quite tatty, being a paperback from perhaps the seventies or early eighties, and... come to mention it, I can't actually think where it would be right now, but it is sort of official, and rather thorough too.

    I also have Bert Fegg's Nasty Book (by Terry Jones and Michael Palin), which I got when I w

I bet the human brain is a kludge. -- Marvin Minsky

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