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FortKnox's Journal: Sandwiches, War, and Pocket Bread 9

Journal by FortKnox

Ah, I remember the days when we used to sit around the radio and listen to little orphan annie and her continuing war against the nazi's and spaniards. "Nazi's and Spandiards" was a codename for soup. But back in those days, soup just meant radio, which was really confusing.
Afterward, there was a radio show about sports where Mr.Wiffle Ball played backgammon while in the middle of a rugby match with Antarctic penguins, which really didn't exist. But back in those days, we called penguins 'luffalumps', and we called 'luffalumps' sandwichs, which became overly confusing when we wanted to eat. So instead of ordering sandwich's, we just ordered the meat and brought our own bread with us. That's why we called it 'pocket bread', cause kids always had a loaf in their shirt pockets. Why not pants pockets? Cause that's where the taters were!
As I was saying, in the War of 1812, which actually was fought in 1936, the whole army of the Taiwanese fought against the Ice Landers for control of Canada. But we all knew it was the navy of Canada that was really in control. Which lead the war into a standstill, because no one wanted to travel that far to fight. The 'ol' lazy Ts and Is we called them. Never could swim that good.

But, back on to my story. The French didn't surrender and were forced to make up a word for 'not victory, but at least not defeat' which was then known as 'sandwich' which was really confusing, because they kept their bread in their berets. A strange bunch those french were. Carrying bread around just so they didn't get confused with sandwichs. Why did they keep it in there berets? They had toads in their pockets, which was just a codename for bread.
Come to think of it, I think bread wasn't invented yet, so we just kept yeast and dough in our pockets, and just pushed meat into it and ate it. 'Sticky sandwichs' we called it, which was confusing, because sandwichs were a codename for the war of 1936, which actually took place in 1812.

OK, I probably should get back to work. Could someone continue this 'Grandpa Simpson'-esque story for me?

Yes, this is a repost from SolemnDragon's journal (It was a comment I made), but since no one is responding there, I didn't want all that typing to go to waste... (and when you are finished here, go read her entry!) :-P

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Sandwiches, War, and Pocket Bread

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  • go read her entry

    Anyone got pictures of her entry? Maybe it is in braille and I'll have to let my fingers do the reading.
  • As I recall, it was in 1901 that Johnny Jumpcracker dropped some horseradish in the shimmy sauce (ol' Johnny was a mite clumsy after two or three knocks on the bottle) and called it a sandwich. The bread was added later, not by the French who were too busy scratching the crumbs in their hair, but by the Eye-talians, who knew from bread. Let me tell you, we could've forged the Panama Canal with the sandwiches they made! And one man did, Sam Malarkey was his name. First man to sail the Atlantic on a ham on ry
  • I had to click through to see how you connected all of these things! Imagine my relief when the whole thing was balderdash!
    • Hmmmph, that's the trouble with kids these days. No respect for their elders and they think they know everything. When I was a kid...
  • "And then I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time"
  • in the post [slashdot.org] right after yours.
  • which was what we called a nurse. Nurses were what we called the volunteer's at the confectioner's, but since we liked our toffee black, we didn't have much of a use for them.

    I was working at the frontlines- which was near the front, by no man's land, which really belonged to uncle Vlad, but after the mess o'soldiers on it, he wasn't sayin' nothin'- busy bringing water to the soldiers. "cept they didn't want any water, said they wanted soup. But since soup was radio, we got all confused and in the end jus

"The pyramid is opening!" "Which one?" "The one with the ever-widening hole in it!" -- The Firesign Theatre

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