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Submission + - Meet MUMPS, the Programming Language for Healthcare (

citadrianne writes: An ICU patient is monitored and assessed according to 12 different variables. These include such measurements as body temperature, heart rate, blood oxygenation, blood pH, and others. Together, they're used to formulate a quantitative answer to the question, "How bad is it, doc?" Many of these physiological signs are measured in real-time via electrodes and like a billion different varieties of catheter. Add to it barrages of lab tests done multiple times per day per patient and the need for 20 or so clinicians (per patient) to have access to all of this data, and the result is very a deep data problem.

Multiply that data problem by hundreds of thousands of patients.

This is the fundamental problem that the programming language MUMPS (sometimes called just "M"), or the Massachusetts General Hospital Utility Multi-Programming System, aims to solve. To its proponents, MUMPS allows for a one of a kind synthesis of programming and database management, while to to its detractors, it's a bizarre anachronism with little connection to the evolution and innovation taking place elsewhere in programming. Probably to most people that do things with computers, MUMPS/M is poorly understood, at best, and more likely to be completely unknown.


Submission + - Study Finds The Sight of Meat Calms Men Down (

wiredmikey writes: Interesting Idle Story for Friday — "Forget massages, soothing music or aromatherapy. If you want to calm down a stressed-out man, just show him a few photos of meat. Preferably just-cooked hunks of beef filet, lamb chop and T-bone steaks, still sizzling and etched with blackened grill marks. Okay, perhaps not those exact cuts of meat, but researchers at McGill University in Canada did find that images of meat actually calmed men down and made them less aggressive."

Submission + - Corporate Internet Armageddon, coming May 5 (

littlekorea writes: Coming to a corporate network near you! No internets! Nothing! Mass confusion! Starring your douchebag network administrator, who forgot that DNSSEC signatures roll out across the remainder of the internet's root servers starting May 5. Best supporting actor goes to your older networking kit, pre-configured to block DNS responses over 512 bytes. And featuring an Oscar-winning tantrum from your company's sales manager, demanding the poor help desk admin explain how the HR guy can surf Failbook all day while his own PC can't access a single site.

Offline Book "Lending" Costs US Publishers Nearly $1 Trillion 494

An anonymous reader writes with this excerpt from a tongue-in-cheek blog post which puts publisher worries about ebook piracy into perspective: "Hot on the heels of the story in Publisher's Weekly that 'publishers could be losing out on as much $3 billion to online book piracy' comes a sudden realization of a much larger threat to the viability of the book industry. Apparently, over 2 billion books were 'loaned' last year by a cabal of organizations found in nearly every American city and town. Using the same advanced projective mathematics used in the study cited by Publishers Weekly, Go To Hellman has computed that publishers could be losing sales opportunities totaling over $100 billion per year, losses which extend back to at least the year 2000. ... From what we've been able to piece together, the book 'lending' takes place in 'libraries.' On entering one of these dens, patrons may view a dazzling array of books, periodicals, even CDs and DVDs, all available to anyone willing to disclose valuable personal information in exchange for a 'card.' But there is an ominous silence pervading these ersatz sanctuaries, enforced by the stern demeanor of staff and the glares of other patrons. Although there's no admission charge and it doesn't cost anything to borrow a book, there's always the threat of an onerous overdue bill for the hapless borrower who forgets to continue the cycle of not paying for copyrighted material."
It's funny.  Laugh.

Submission + - DBA's are required to move their own body or talk (

An anonymous reader writes: You should read the fine print when applying for a DBA position:

Sedentary Work Category The employee exerts up to 10 pounds of force occasionally and/or a negligible amount of force frequently or constantly to lift, carry, push pull or otherwise move objects, including the human body. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk or hear. The employee is frequently required to stand, walk, sit, use hands to touch or feel, and reach with hands and arms. The employee is occasionally required to stoop, kneel, crouch, or crawl. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision and distance vision. The noise level in the work environment is usually quiet to moderate.

SCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out! -- Ken Thompson