Mahdia, Guyana or Mullen, Nebraska might have to sell an airport code, but that should be the most difficult thing in solving this problem: http://manhattanairport.org/
The Year Of The Depend Adult Undergarment is just around the corner.
I have evidence. My son's elementary school newsletter this week has a notice in it that as of next week they're "going paperless" and will only be posting future newsletters and other correspondence to the web site. A great idea that will probably help a bit with the budget shortfall. It says at the end, "Please contact us if you do not have web access so we can keep you in the loop." Really. In 2009.