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Em Emalb (452530)

Em Emalb
  ememalb AT gmail DOT com
http://slashdot.org/~em%20emalb
User comments about Em Emalb: "Em Emalb got my wife pregnant from three states away!" "Em Emalb punched a man in the face so hard his knees broke." "I once saw Em Emalb pick up a car...with his penis." "Em Emalb drank from the Holy Grail then smashed it on his forehead." "Em Emalb *IS* the theory of relativity" "Em Emalb invented the asterisk"

Journal of Em Emalb (452530)

If you were on fire, I'd piss on you, but only to say I did.

[ #111675 ]
Tuesday July 12 2005, @08:41AM
User Journal

The right lane is faster than the left lane.

Let that sink in. The right lane is faster than the left lane.

I'm glad I drive a large truck, so when I do finally snap I can remove a lot of the gene pool along the way. That means you, Mr Civic EX. Oh, and you, Miss Geo Metro. And your friend in the gas/electric piece of shit with the hippy stickers, you can die too.

Better yet, move to Alaska and get ass-raped by a Kodiak bear, I'm sure the bears would be considerate, JUST LIKE YOU ARE, YOU DUMB FUCKING WHORE-BITCH.

STFU. Bitch.

Ok, one last time:

If you are getting passed on the right, get your stupid fecal-flinging ass out of the goddamned left lane. If you happen to look up, and see a FUCKING TRAIL OF 992433251234526245 cars behind you, GET A GODDAMNED CLUE AND MOVE YOUR STUPID ASS OVER. If you know your exit is coming up, GET THE FUCK OVER IN TIME TO TAKE IT.

If you must cut someone off, AT LEAST HAVE THE GODDAMNED COMMON COURTESY TO FUCKING WAVE AN APOLOGY TO THEM. You never know when they might stop beside you at the next light and drag you out of your car to beat you with your own severed testicles.

GODDAMNIT. I'm so mad this morning, dumb mother fuckers. SHARE THE FUCKING ROAD, be intelligent, and for fuck's sake, think about what the fuck you are doing. Shit-flinging mouth breathers. God DAMN.

(I tried to preview this piece of shit and slashdot can't even do that right. Tell me again why I bother coming here? You suck /.)


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If you were on fire, I'd piss on you, but only to say I did. 25 Comments More | Login /

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  • you have got to find an outlet for what you feel.

    emote.

    don't hold it all in like that it is poison!
    • this *is* holding back.

      Seriously. I gotta find a better outlet. I'm simmering rage right now. One wrong step and BOOM.
      • Go hit someone.

        Just go outside grab the first person you see and slam their fucking heads in to the ground until you are holding a wet sack of brains.

        *yeah I'm in a real bad mood too*
        • What's funny is I've gone back and read some of the stuff I've written while in a really bad mood...it's pretty damned funny.

          Oh well.

          Life goes on, but if I let this shit stay in me, I'll fly off the deep end.

          Hope you day gets better duder. Sorry about the car. At least Lynda is ok, ya know?

  • I used to commute to NoVa for a job, and I saw a lot of this same crap too. My favorite are the buttheads that feel a need to draft behind an ambulance because they are obviously more important and in too big of a hurry to wait like everyone else.

  • When I was in high school I worked at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA on the weekends. After we close up the park at midnight and hit the road coming home at like 1 AM in the morning, it blew my mind how many people would tailgate/draft/follow to close to me on the highway, especially when I was in the right lane. I mean close enough where I could not see their license plate in my rear view mirror. And this was basically us and maybe 4 other cars on the interstate.

    So I started having fun with them. Mayb
  • SO I CAN HUNT YOUR BAD DRIVING ASS DOWN AND SHOOT YOU FOR GOING 15 MPH IN THE FAST LANE ASSSSHOOOOOOLLLLLLE!!!!!! phew.

    it's pissing me off. i thought they knew how to drive better in the south, but i guess not. some woman will testify (except for those fscking shithead SUV drivers) that minnesotans use the fast lane for passing and then they move right. at least when i drove up there they did. it was so pleasant.

    grampa's out for a sunday drive during rush hour? no problem, the left lane is open. i'l
    • except for those fscking shithead SUV drivers

      I am a shithead SUV driver. (Now, I'm also a shithead pickup truck driver)

      What vehicle you drive has nothing to do with it.

      People don't know how to drive.

      A perfect example: At the DMV, they offer the written test in like 60 different languages. That's fucking funny, I don't remember road signs being in Swahili.
      • i don't think SW likes MN suv drivers very much though. ;) at least you can claim you're a redneck southerner who needs all that space to carry around dead deer and shotguns. and, hopefully, you don't drive around ramming into bikers.

        what the hell do you need one for in chicago, for example? bastards blocking my view on the fucking dan ryan so they can compensate for their miniscule penises.

        bah. what's worse that a person who doesn't know how to drive is an suv driver who doesn't know how to drive in
      • I quote:
        What vehicle you drive has nothing to do with it.
        and earlier:
        And your friend in the gas/electric piece of shit...

        Why ya gotta hate the hybrid? I luv my prius. And I stay in the slow lane unless passing.
        • Not hating man, just describing the knuckleheads and their vehicles.


          Why ya gotta hate the hybrid? I luv my prius. And I stay in the slow lane unless passing.

          I wish more people would do this. Thanks.
  • that I've been to in the US, there are signs that say something to the effect of "slow traffic keep right." I know that here in Washington state people don't pay attention to them at all.

    I was very impressed with the traffic in Europe where they actually *enforce* that!

    ^_^

    • This actually reminded me that when I spent the summer of 98 up in New Hampshire it blew my mind when I was driving faster than those ahead of me on the two lane roads all over the state that they would pull off on to the shoulder and wave me by. I was stunned.
    • I was very impressed with the traffic in Europe where they actually *enforce* that!

      They have to, especially in Germany. With the extreme differences in speed on the roads, anything else would mean constant major accidents.

      On the one hand, you have campers and cars with trailers on the right doing 80-100 km/h (50-60 mph), then you have semis also on the right doing 100-120 km/h, then you have most "regular" cars doing 120-140 km/h in the middle, and then you have motorcyclists and Mercedeses and BMWs do

    • "slow traffic keep right."

      Unless you are on the ohio turnpike, in which case it's "No trucks RIGHT lane" and "Slower traffic keep left". Backwards fucktards.

      -Ab
  • A .22 on a rotating mount, hook a webcam up so you can sight, and some kind of trigger-pull servo, all attached to a laptop in the vehicle...

    They've suddenly had a tire blow! What a stroke of bad luck!

    I bet you could make more than a Soviet arms dealer selling the things.
  • Yeah, The W.I.F.E. is driving just under a 100 miles a day round trip. All she talks about now is crappy drivers.

    I, however, have the solution. I simply live at work. Saturday? Sunday? I'm here, man. They even keep the air conditioning on.
    • mmake All -NoErrorStop
      cuz we don't stop for no stinking errors! hahaha!

      I hate pizza hut becuase its greasy. I hate pizza hut because its bad pizza. But I mostly hate pizza hut because it means I'm not eating at home. poo.
  • Tell me again why I bother coming here?

    Because you love us. We love you too, Em.

    Hey everybody! Group hug for Em!

  • while switching from the SLOW ASS left lane to the SPEEDY right lane!

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