Well, I'll let it go as long as it can tell us if there are any smokies to watch out for.

He'll also get a healthy supply of Iocane powder.

The stick 1 meter long is a "meterometer" - something that measures a meter :)

Even if they really wanted to, it's not how they were used to making money. I remember getting various "CD" versions of Encarta, Britannica, etc, with computers and I don't recall them taking off either. You'd have thought B&N and Barnes and Noble would have had the pole position w.r.t Amazon, but their business wasn't structured that way - reorganizing everything to change is hard and time-consuming.

Why would we assume that most government officials would be any more competent?

I heard in my security class that during Gulf War I, some reporters correlated major strikes with the number of pizzas being ordered out late at night.

It's better than an article summary that tells us the ground-breaking news that hydrogen combines with oxygen to form water.

You have many great-great-great-etc. grandparents. Couldn't it be a different branch of the family tree?

Either way, the house is still burned down.

I'll take my dollar back, if they don't mind...