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Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring GNAA Leader "timecop" 8

Journal by Real Troll Talk

Real Troll Talk - Issue #6

Notes

This interview was conducted live and in public via Internet chat. Stay tuned for more innovations such as these in future issues of Real Troll Talk!

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Have a suggestion for Real Trolls we should interview? Leave a comment below along with the troll's screenname/service; you can even nominate yourself!

[19:35] [Us] Welcome to Issue #6 of Real Troll Talk.
[19:35] [Us] We're here tonight with the head of the GNAA, timecop. Introduce yourself to our readers.
[19:36] <timecop> Hello. I am timecop. I am the creator and president of GNAA.
[19:36] [Us] Briefly explain your organization and how it came into existence.
[19:37] <timecop> Well, GNAA also known as Gay Nigger Association of America is the world's first trolling organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and THE WORLD for one common goal: TO TROLL AND BE GAY.
[19:37] <timecop> you can get more information about GNAA by reading about it on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GNAA_(Slashdot)
[19:38] [Us] Is there an active headcount for how many members you have, and the % that are actually gay and black?
[19:38] <timecop> naturally, in order to be an active member, you have to be both gay and black.
[19:38] <timecop> that is one of the requirements, and there are no exceptions
[19:39] [Us] Your mission statement is essentially to troll others and practice homosexuality. How can the latter be done via the Internet?
[19:39] <timecop> Originally I planned this organization to cover just the american trolls, but we quickly grew into an international organization as more and more members wanted to join in
[19:39] <timecop> now we have GNAA representatives in UK, norway, and portugal.
[19:39] <timecop> (did I miss any other place)?
[19:40] <timecop> oh, that too.
[19:40] <timecop> one of GNAA software developers is from slovenia.
[19:40] <timecop> Any other questions?
[19:41] [Us] Why did your organization choose Slashdot as its primary "host"?
[19:42] <timecop> Well, because its easy to use. It's not like K5 where you have to be a rocket scientist to figure out how to post and shit. Even a dumb nigger can figure out how to post a troll on slahsdot.
[19:43] [Us] How is the GNAA's relationship with Slashdot editors? Do they know of your group?
[19:43] <timecop> I am sure they do.
[19:43] <timecop> Whenever I achieve a GNAA first post, it's usually moderated down within seconds
[19:43] <timecop> I would imagine most of that is done by the editor posting the story.
[19:44] [Us] Who is your favorite and least favorite editor?
[19:44] <timecop> well, there arent that many active editors left
[19:44] <timecop> michael usually posts worthless tripe
[19:44] <timecop> that I dont care about
[19:45] <timecop> so I'd say he's my least favorite
[19:45] [Us] What technological tricks does your group employ when targetting the Slashdot audience with pro-GNAA material?
[19:46] <timecop> well, over the years our group developed some high quality software tools to help us.
[19:46] <timecop> this includes some automatic first post scripts, which are very accurate
[19:46] [Us] Do you develop using the famed Open Source method?
[19:46] <timecop> as well as a world renowned shock site
[19:46] <timecop> called lastmeasure.
[19:47] <timecop> which is commonly linked to various "on topic" posts by GNAA members to trick slashbots into following the link.
[19:47] <timecop> Lastmeasure is opensource, with public SVN repository available.
[19:47] <timecop> our livejournal and various imageboard/bbs flooding scripts are also opensource
[19:48] <timecop> however we don't really have them all in one place, lastmeasure is at lastmeasure.com and I'm not sure where some of the other scripts are hosted.
[19:48] <timecop> some things like captcha breaking code is not opensource.
[19:48] <timecop> for obvious reasons.
[19:48] [Us] Interesting. So you actually use Slashdot's own ways against them via the power of many eyes, better code?
[19:48] [Us] Explain what captcha breaking code is please.
[19:49] <timecop> for websites that require typing in some "secret code" that is displayed in a image
[19:49] <timecop> we have developed some software to successfully OCR these things on various sites.
[19:49] [Us] But that is unbreakable.
[19:49] <timecop> either OCR, or use bad implementation bugs to achieve 100% accuracy.
[19:50] <timecop> GNAA does not fail it, sir.
[19:50] [Us] We are impressed.
[19:50] [Us] Who writes your press releases?
[19:50] <timecop> well, I have written a number of them. They are also contributed by various active members.
[19:50] <timecop> JesuitX is the head of apple PR division
[19:51] <timecop> Zeikfried, l0de, godspeed have also contributed a lot of material.
[19:51] <timecop> as well as rkz
[19:51] [Us] Who else is involved in the GNAA?
[19:51] [Us] Is there some structure to its organization?
[19:51] <timecop> of course
[19:52] <timecop> the way its organized is like this
[19:52] <timecop> of course I'm the president, and I make most of the decisions that affect the group as a whole.
[19:52] <timecop> we have a smaller group of members who were part of GNAA from early days.
[19:53] <timecop> this group coordinates all the activities, and approves or disapproves certain ideas by other members.
[19:54] <timecop> by ideas i mean like flooding activities/etc.
[19:54] [Us] The black men on your website... are they members?
[19:54] [Us] Or did you simply hire models?
[19:54] <timecop> well, both of the gay nigger images on the site are stock art
[19:54] <timecop> however, we are in the process of acquiring photographs of all current GNAA members
[19:54] <timecop> and we will have a gallery
[19:55] <timecop> no, the stock art is not stolen.
[19:55] <timecop> it is 100% legal and acquired from webshots.com
[19:55] [Us] So GNAA membership is nothing to hide from or be ashamed of? Your members must be proud to participate. What DRIVES the GNAA to make progress and influence the world?
[19:56] <timecop> Oh of course. everyone is a proud GNAA member.
[19:56] <timecop> I do not hide my association with GNAA from anyone.
[19:56] <timecop> and its the community of steamy hot black men that makes GNAA what it is today.
[19:57] [Us] If you can, tell us the most interesting and underrated work your group has done.
[19:57] [Us] For example, what are you most proud of?
[19:58] <timecop> well, the most successfull troll that we have done, which put our site on front page of various news sites, and generated thousands and thousands of hits to the wbesite was the apple troll
[19:58] <timecop> which was masterminded by JesuitX
[19:58] <timecop> that I'm quite proud of.
[19:58] [Us] Does that document still exist?
[19:58] <timecop> We've also explored phone trolling, but I personally do not see it very important...
[19:58] <timecop> mostly because it would be considered abuse, if not properly coordinated.
[19:59] [Us] "Phone trolling"? Surely you jest.
[19:59] <timecop> http://www.gnaa.us/pr.phtml?troll=gnaa-apple and http://www.gnaa.us/pr.phtml?troll=gnaa-tiger are the Press releases related to the apple troll.
[19:59] <timecop> About phoen trolling, we've spent countless hours trolling AOL tech support lines
[20:00] <timecop> as well as random people who had easy reach 1800 numbers
[20:00] <timecop> and as well as AT&T/MCI TDD relay operators.
[20:00] <timecop> we have a telephone conference which I operate which is used for all GNAA telephone
trolling activities.
[20:01] [Us] Let's switch gears a little.
[20:01] [Us] Does the GNAA have a personal relationship with guys like CmdrTaco or rusty from Kuro5hin?
[20:01] <timecop> "personal" as in do we have sex with them? I can't say for other members, but I sure don't.
[20:02] <timecop> I do have a personal problem with CmdrTaco
[20:02] [Us] Can you share that with our readers?
[20:02] <timecop> my slashdot UID is fairly low, since I've had an account for a while
[20:02] <timecop> it has been bitchslapped about 2 years ago
[20:02] <timecop> and while I have "excellent" karma
[20:02] <timecop> i haven't been able to post or moderate for a while
[20:03] <timecop> CmdrTaco knows this
[20:03] <timecop> and I've talke dto him on irc about it
[20:03] <timecop> and he just "wont do anything about it".
[20:03] <timecop> I don't realyl like K5
[20:03] <timecop> because of the site structure
[20:03] <timecop> and how its organized
[20:03] <timecop> so I can't say anything about rusty
[20:03] <timecop> or whoever else runs that place.
[20:03] [Us] Yes, you commented earlier on how difficult it is to use.
[20:04] [Us] You do a lot of bleeding-edge type development...
[20:04] [Us] What is the fascination with Perl among Slashdot types?
[20:05] <timecop> i consider perl to be pretty good, however most of GNAA software developers use various languages to achieve success
[20:05] [Us] What platform does the GNAA condone?
[20:05] <timecop> our trolling tools are written in python, ruby, and C.
[20:06] <timecop> I heavily promote using Microsoft products
[20:06] <timecop> because, unlike what most slashbots think, Microsoft products are great.
[20:06] <timecop> Windows is the best OS ever.
[20:06] <timecop> Most of hte tools we develop are written in scripting languages
[20:06] <timecop> which work well on either Windows or unix-like systems.
[20:06] <timecop> so we could say GNAA is fully cross-platform and e-business compatible.
[20:07] <timecop> our trolling e-solutions are fully scalable and interoperable with various news posting sites based on slash, phpbb, ybb, etc.
[20:07] [Us] Your corporate page specifies that you are also achieving "world-class team synergy through sodomy". Is that really true?
[20:08] <timecop> yes.
[20:08] <timecop> our goal is to eventually make sure every one has experienced the joys of anal sex with a black man.
[20:08] [Us] On that same page, we apparently see an image of a man from the '90s American TV show "In Living Color". Is he connected to your group in some fashion?
[20:09] <timecop> as I've explained, its a stock art image. any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
[20:09] <timecop> so, no, that person has no relation to our group.
[20:09] [Us] Many white people did not like the KKK. Are there homosexuals of African origin who would like to see the GNAA fail in its business?
[20:10] <timecop> there's a possibility, but all the gay niggers I've talked to about GNAA who were not members, were highly impressed with our organization.
[20:11] <timecop> I guess GNAA is really hard to dislike. The benefits of being a member are so great, nobody wants to pass them up.
[20:11] [Us] Who is leading your project to port Slashcode to ASP.NET, and what's its current status?
[20:12] <timecop> we outsourced ASP.NET development to our indian branch
[20:12] <timecop> they are currently in alpha testing
[20:12] [Us] Was this branched off of the X-Box port of GNAA?
[20:13] <timecop> No, however, there are some plans to create another X-Box hit by GNAA. Or at least, we're thinking of creating a high profile game which will be sponsored/developed by GNAA.
[20:13] <timecop> This will push our organization out to even more people
[20:14] [Us] White teens from the suburbs? How will they be able to contribute?
[20:14] <timecop> naturally the game will only be appealing to homosexual black males.
[20:14] [Us] We won't go there...
[20:15] <timecop> understandable. some of the ideas for this game are rather controversial. but i believe it will be a lot of fun.
[20:15] <timecop> you know, there are 3 requirements to joining GNAA.
[20:16] <timecop> one is being a black homosexual, another is to achieve a First Post on slashdot, and the third is to view official GNAA film, Gay Niggers From Outer Space.
[20:16] [Us] Which was apparently recently re-mastered by your group?
[20:17] <timecop> Yes indeed. I spent countless hours working on the digital remaster
[20:17] <timecop> which looks and sounds way better than the original which was circulating on p2p networks.
[20:17] <timecop> and we've been making sure that our remastered edition is all over various p2p networks, as well as available for download by BitTorrent
[20:17] <timecop> from http://pepper.idge.net/gnaa/gnfos_dr.torrent
[20:18] [Us] What tools were used for such a thing? Was there any consultation with Hollywood, or was this a private job?
[20:19] <timecop> The tools and techniques used are proprietary. I cannot disclose details on the remaster, other than the fact that those who have seen both versions have been very impressed with the remastered edition.
[20:19] <timecop> It was a group cooperation of high-profile GNAA executives
[20:20] <timecop> however, I cannot go into the technical details about this.
[20:20] [Us] Is it something you use for initiation purposes only, or does the film's soundtrack contain a good beat to troll to?
[20:21] <timecop> Viewing the film is, as I mentioned before, one of the entry requirements. New members are tested on the knowledge of this movie, and are expected to watch it at least once (or more) in order to pass this entrance exam.
[20:22] [Us] If you could give advice to other trolls, what would it be?
[20:22] <timecop> Well, i would say, "don't troll each other", and "be together".
[20:23] <timecop> GNAA is unique because we have collected a large group of "trolls", people who naturally try to fuck with each other whenever given a chance.
[20:23] <timecop> but we make it all a fun experience, and that is how we suceed.
[20:23] [Us] Let's stop beating around the bushes here. Is sex the primary motivation here?
[20:24] <timecop> To my knowledge, GNAA is the only troll group that lasted this long, out of all the various troll "groups" that have been on slashdot over the years, and I believe our success is mainly because we stay together and have a fun time.
[20:24] <timecop> it depends what your status in the group is.
[20:25] <timecop> that is my answer to the "sex" question.
[20:25] <timecop> If one wants to know more, they would need to join GNAA to find out.
[20:26] [Us] Your "Last Measure" application features graphic depictions of sex. Your GNAA.us homepage features an attractive, sweaty man as the primary image. Is there something we're missing, or are you mum on the issue?
[20:26] <timecop> well, we are the Gay Nigger Association of America.
[20:26] <timecop> Naturally, our members would be interested in homosexual black men.
[20:27] [Us] Are there any secrets you haven't told us that you would like to reveal at this time, to the world? (Editor's note: This is the first-ever LIVE public interview)
[20:28] <timecop> hm
[20:28] <timecop> Did you know Jesus was a black man?
[20:29] <timecop> It's hardly a secret, but GNAA research division came to this conclusion after many months of research.
[20:29] <timecop> we've published a press release about this
[20:29] <timecop> http://www.gnaa.us/pr.phtml?troll=gnaa-jesus
[20:29] [Us] Well, we did read that "in ancient times, including Jesus' time, the Arabian peninsula was considered part of what we now call Africa, not "the Near East" or "the Middle East"".
[20:29] <timecop> Perhaps that's something that the rest of the world should know about.
[20:29] [Us] What are your sources for that piece?
[20:30] <timecop> GNAA Research is a GNAA branch located in the UK
[20:30] <timecop> you'd have to contact the GNAA-UK branch to get more information about this.
[20:31] <timecop> However I personally believe the gnaa-jesus research was a cut & paste troll from somewhere else.
[20:31] <timecop> I have just been informed by GNAA-UK representative that the above statement is false
[20:32] <timecop> it was a cut and edit and paste
[20:32] <timecop> so, that's the official word on GNAA-JESUS research project.
[20:32] [Us] Any thoughts on the 2004 political goings-on? Bush/Kerry/Moore/etc.?
[20:33] <timecop> GNAA generally dislikes political discussions.
[20:33] <timecop> I know I do.
[20:33] <timecop> As well as most members. So I would be a wrong person to ask about thisl.
[20:34] <timecop> we did have a short crapflood campaign
[20:34] <timecop> to vote lysol for president in 2004.
[20:34] [Us] Let's wind things down here.
[20:34] <timecop> sure.
[20:34] [Us] Where do you see the GNAA in 10 years' time?
[20:34] <timecop> We will be bigger than ever.
[20:34] <timecop> And I believe we will still be around.
[20:34] <timecop> with hundreds, if not thousands members.
[20:34] <timecop> I'm not sure if slashdot will last that long, though.
[20:35] <timecop> In that case, we would have to move elsewhere? :)
[20:35] [Us] Any last words, timecop?
[20:35] <timecop> You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day.
[20:36] [Us] Thanks for your time. We look forward to hearing more about your organization in the future.
[20:36] <timecop> excellent

User Journal

Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring Craig McPherson 18

Journal by Real Troll Talk

Real Troll Talk - Issue #5

Notes

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Have a suggestion for Real Trolls we should interview? Leave a comment below along with the troll's screenname/service; you can even nominate yourself!

[Us] (9:50:56 PM): This is Real Troll Talk here tonight after our very popular last interview feature in which the author of the infamous Rustina.jpg image spilled all and presented a world's-first viewing of the newest Rustina image.
We are very pleased to have Craig McPherson with us tonight.
How are you doing, Craig?
Craig (9:52:21 PM): I'm vary happy to be here tonight, sir. A lot of people have probably heard a lot of gossip and hearsay about me, and I've decided at last that I'd better answer some of these allegations.
Craig (9:54:32 PM): I'd first like to direct your attention and that of the readership to a statement that I wrote earlier this morning, outlining the truth about several hot-button issues. Due to the length of it, I've posted it to a Slashdot journal, which I'd encourage you to peruse at your leisure. http://slashdot.org/~CraigMcPherson/journal/77429
[Us] (9:55:33 PM): We will examine it now very briefly...
[Us] (9:56:21 PM): OK, so the gist of that is basically that you have been accused of many things you did not do.
[Us] (9:56:40 PM): Why do you feel that is so? Are there specific people out there who dislike you, and if so, why?
-- Interruption due to unforeseen circumstances --
Craig (11:24:34 PM): I was one of the first members of the first organized Slashdot trolling community (even before it officially set up base on the original sid=trolltalk). As the community grew and blossomed, schisms occured. A sizable of the community still live on as the Adequacy clan. They absolutely hate the "traitors" like Mr. OSM and myself (and a few others who I won't mention because they haven't yet been subjected to the organized attacks that we have). We don't really care about them and their little games, but they just don't know how to leave alone anyone that they consider an enemy.
[Us] (11:25:26 PM): So you consider yourself a troll, but not one of the regular trolls?
Craig (11:26:57 PM): I've been in and out of retirement for the past several years, and I mostly hit nontraditional targets that aren't tainted by the Slashdot scene and the associated baggage.
[Us] (11:27:58 PM): Can you disclose one or two of these targets to our readers?
Craig (11:29:36 PM): Well, obviously if I did that, they'd no longer be untainted. I'm always anonymous or under various pseduonyms these days; using my real name in the early days was a mistake.
Craig (11:36:27 PM): But I was a young and idealistic trollerizer then. All the factions & politics & nonsense were fun at first, but after a while they start to occlude the actual trolling.
[Us] (11:36:51 PM): Describe some of your more famous trolls.
Craig (11:37:12 PM): First, on an unrelated note, I'd like to state for the record my sincere belief that Rusty Foster is some kind of homo or something.
[Us] (11:39:00 PM): It's been noted. Continue on please.
Craig (11:41:02 PM): Second, by the advice of my lawyer, I'm limited on the things that I can and can't take credit for, so I'll limit myself to the older and more publically-known stuff. Obviously, my initial claim to fame was "naked and petrified", my little brainchild that so many others help to raise & nurture. It held #1 fad status on Slashdot for a while, and many fans kept it alive over the years even after I moved on to other things. For our younger readers, a compendium of random old "naked and petrified" posts is archived here: http://users.ipa.net/~cmcpher/method.txt
Craig (11:41:38 PM): The best part were the responses, most notably the diatrabe issues by Nitrozac of the shitty "Geek Culture" website, author of the shitty "After Y2K" comic.
Craig (11:43:29 PM): Handy reference: http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3538&cid=1356689
[Us] (11:44:04 PM): Interesting. Any non-petrified trolling?
[Us] (11:44:27 PM): Tell us what types of sites you troll these days and what kind of content you post.
Craig (11:45:26 PM): Several of the Adequists (before they turned evil) & I infiltrated Nitrozac's forum (as revenge for the above-linked post) by pretending to be females and absolutely fooled the hell out of them.
Craig (11:46:13 PM): Give me a minute or two to think.
[Us] (11:50:33 PM): OK, time's up, we don't have all night.
Craig (11:50:47 PM): I've been in several Usenet groups over the years and several message boards for various hobbies & interests. Sometimes I use Babelfish-mangled text to do the confused foreigner thing. Sometimes I just question the basic assumptions of the hobby or interest at hand. Sometimes I find an existing ongoing campaign of trolling or kookery that impresses me & I'll join in and reinforce whatever's being done there. And sometimes I just post shit that doesn't make a lot of sense.
[Us] (11:52:31 PM): When do you troll? From where do you troll? What makes you troll?
Craig (11:55:39 PM): Now that I think about it, "Tattoo the DeCSS Source on Natalie Portman's Ass" was another that wasn't petrification-related, and was one of the ones that got a lot of good replies when I was targetting Everything2 and posting a lot of my works there.
Craig (11:55:44 PM): As for reasons for trolling, I've written up a lot of bullshit on the philosophy of trolling, but on the most basic level, it's much more simple than that: playing games with the truth is fun. Confusing, angering, or otherwise manipulating people is fun. Lying is fun. Laughing at people is fun. In the end, it all comes down to personal amusement. Claim to have a higher purpose if you will, but you'd better be enjoying yourself or else you're missing the point.
Craig (11:56:26 PM): And breaking society's rules, its expectations, and its social conventions is fun. So much so.
Craig (11:59:55 PM): Also, I like feeling superior to others.
[Us] (12:02:32 AM): Can you reveal a ballpark figure for your age and location?
Craig (12:05:48 AM): I'll just say that I was still a teenager when I first cast a write-in vote for "Lacey Chabert naked & petrified" in a Segfault.org poll, my first historic foray into the heart of darkness. I was just past my teenage years in the days of sid=Trolltalk, circa 2000 or so.
[Us] (12:06:46 AM): You seem to be a very mature writer, yet you take long to respond. Are you simply a slow typer, or do you carefully examine every word to ensure your point gets across appropriately?
Craig (12:09:29 AM): As for location, I'm in the same apartment right now that I was in on the fateful day over 5 years ago when I first clicked a Slashdot bookmark (it came with Debian Linux, which I'd just installed) not knowing what it was.
Craig (12:09:31 AM): I spend much more time thinking than typing. Thinking is one of my greatest loves, somewhere between trolling and masturbation (of course, those three pastimes are not mutually exclusive).
Craig (12:15:41 AM): I'm sorry; my Internet connection died. You'll have to repeat anything you said since my last message.
[Us] (12:16:52 AM): Where do you see yourself in five years?
Craig (12:20:23 AM): At this exact moment five years in the future? I will probably be either in this same apartment or another not entirely unlike it (I'm pondering moving to the Memphis area for personal reasons). There's approximately a 12% chance I'll be masturbating. Unless I'm working nights, if I'm not masturbating I'll probably be bumming around the Internet, or sleeping.
[Us] (12:21:13 AM): Sounds about right. Thanks for your time. Perhaps we can talk again sometime.
Craig (12:21:34 AM): If you wish.

User Journal

Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring "The Artist Behind Rustina.jpg" 10

Journal by Real Troll Talk

Real Troll Talk - Issue #4

Notes

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Have a suggestion for Real Trolls we should interview? Leave a comment below along with the troll's screenname/service; you can even nominate yourself!

"The Artist Behind Rustina.jpg" has been abbreviated below as TABR

[Us] (12:13:01 AM): Hi, we were told you would be open to an interview by Real Troll Talk
TABR (12:13:25 AM): You were told correctly
[Us] (12:18:04 AM): OK, well first off, why don't you introduce yourself
[Us] (12:18:15 AM): To us and all the readers
TABR (12:19:13 AM): Well, I'm the guy who created the now-infamous rustina.jpg, a picture depicting Kuro5hin.org maintainer Rusty's wife sitting down on a black man's lap
TABR (12:19:24 AM): and having a good time
TABR (12:19:51 AM): outside of that, i regularly troll K5 under different personas
[Us] (12:20:15 AM): We have seen that image and we understand that it's upsetting to Rusty. In fact, we feel bad for him. With all due respect to him, please state how the idea came about.
TABR (12:21:22 AM): well, I was hanging out on one of the k5 troll irc channels one night, bored, and the guy who runs malefactor.org suggested making a picture of rusty's wife fucking a black dude
[Us] (12:22:07 AM): Why a black male and not just any male? Is there, well, how do we put it...some significance there?
TABR (12:22:37 AM): It's a masterpiece of racial tension and modern social satire.
[Us] (12:23:12 AM): Before we delve further, explain your personal life a bit more... we'll get back to the rustina image.
[Us] (12:23:32 AM): Tell our readers your age and job type and location if you can.
TABR (12:24:00 AM): Well, I'm an engineering student in college
TABR (12:24:22 AM): i've been into painful endurance sports since, well, several years now
TABR (12:24:31 AM): spend a lot of time outdoors
TABR (12:24:52 AM): but if i'm bored or avoiding my work, i'll troll k5
[Us] (12:25:16 AM): "Painful endurance sports" sounds an awful lot like what you depicted in that infamous picture
TABR (12:25:31 AM): hahaha
[Us] (12:25:35 AM): We have some international readers...are you USian?
TABR (12:26:12 AM): yes
TABR (12:27:15 AM): we find that the laws respecting freedom of speech here allow us to practice our art in a thriving community, free from the chains of Socialist Europe
[Us] (12:28:00 AM): So you feel that what you did was not a violation of any law?
TABR (12:28:27 AM): no. it was a work of parody protected by the first amendment
[Us] (12:28:57 AM): Is Rusty's site an American site based on those laws?
TABR (12:28:59 AM): read it sometime, there's a very interesting section on the right to paste heads onto women riding black cock
TABR (12:29:18 AM): well, he would like to pretend so
TABR (12:29:42 AM): rusty's site more resembles poland
[Us] (12:29:55 AM): Let's jump back to the moment you're conversing with others and they suggest the image. What was going through your mind?
TABR (12:30:00 AM): economically desolate and teeming with arrogant idiots
TABR (12:30:24 AM): mostly, "Rusty's such a dick, I wonder how far we can push him?"
TABR (12:30:30 AM): and laughter, lots of laughter
[Us] (12:30:43 AM): Why did you dislike him?
[Us] (12:30:47 AM): Do others feel this way?
TABR (12:31:06 AM): well, he has this nasty habit of banning accounts
[Us] (12:31:21 AM): Explain what a "ban" is for our readers
TABR (12:31:51 AM): basically, your account gets its comment posting privileges taken away, along with any other way to contribute to the site
TABR (12:32:05 AM): a couple of times, i had my account deleted completely, diaries, comments, everything
[Us] (12:32:11 AM): And this is on www.kuro5hin.org ?
TABR (12:32:13 AM): yeah
[Us] (12:32:28 AM): How much do accounts cost? Can anyone make one?
TABR (12:33:30 AM): well, rusty had shut off new accounts as a result of my creation getting posted, so we were getting by with selling accounts on ebay to desperate K5ians
TABR (12:34:01 AM): but today, he reopened new accounts for some reason or another only apparent to himself, so i gotta find beer money some other way
TABR (12:34:22 AM): they've always been free to create
[Us] (12:34:45 AM): So you're thinking to yourself that you dislike him so why not make the image. Then what?
TABR (12:35:45 AM): well, i spent about half an hour browsing the internet for the right combination of background and face shot, then about fifteen minutes in photoshop making a mock up, then i went through a review process with the IRC channel sending out new versions for comment
TABR (12:36:02 AM): after a little bit of that, i decided that it was good enough, and gave to the malefactor.org guy to post
[Us] (12:36:36 AM): Who is "the malefactor.org guy"?
TABR (12:37:03 AM): i don't really know him beyond the fact that he runs malefactor.org
[Us] (12:37:31 AM): But you spent time in the same chat room?
TABR (12:37:59 AM): yeah
TABR (12:38:19 AM): i don't remember the nick he was using at the time
[Us] (12:39:30 AM): Where is the image location currently? Is it still available?
TABR (12:40:29 AM): well, it seems he's replaced it with something else
TABR (12:40:50 AM): it was located at http://www.malefactor.org/rustina.jpg , but obviously right now that's not the image we're talking about
[Us] (12:41:33 AM): We see an image there but it's sprawled out text signed by a "Gangsta".
[Us] (12:41:35 AM): What does this mean?
[Us] (12:41:40 AM): Are you Gangsta?
TABR (12:41:54 AM): no, i think that's the malefactor.org guy
TABR (12:42:11 AM): he went by "gangsta", "pocide" and a couple of other accounts on kuro5hin.org
[Us] (12:42:45 AM): What time of day did you develop and first upload the image?
[Us] (12:42:55 AM): And what was the date?
TABR (12:43:15 AM): I can't remember too well... if I were to guess, I'd say on a week night, maybe Wednesday night
TABR (12:43:25 AM): don't even ask me to guess the date
TABR (12:43:28 AM): i've no idea
[Us] (12:43:53 AM): How did you notify others of it after completion?
[Us] (12:44:02 AM): And why did you notify others?
TABR (12:44:26 AM): well, i basically just told the people on the channel that i was doing it
TABR (12:44:58 AM): i was reluctant for others to post it at first, because it's rusty's wife and all, and that's just a little personal
TABR (12:45:16 AM): but then rusty decided to be a dick and delete one of my accounts (again), so i gave them the go-ahead
[Us] (12:45:45 AM): And now Rusty has turned against you and they have turned against you?
TABR (12:46:03 AM): no, just rusty
[Us] (12:47:35 AM): So where is the image?
[Us] (12:47:41 AM): We're confused
TABR (12:47:53 AM): i'll put it on imageshack
TABR (12:47:57 AM): just a sec
[Us] (12:48:55 AM): Any way you could take a screenshot of your tools and original images to prove your work?
TABR (12:49:32 AM): yeah, i'll post the originals with some watermarking on them
TABR (12:49:55 AM): also, as a special interview bonus, i'll put up my second image in the rustina series
TABR (12:50:04 AM): heretofore unseen
[Us] (12:53:20 AM): Let's see.
TABR (1:02:17 AM): http://img47.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img47&image=rustina-backsource.jpg
http://img28.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img28&image=rustina-face.jpg
http://img30.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img30&image=rustina-watermark.jpg
TABR (1:02:27 AM): the orignal rustina
TABR (1:03:31 AM): http://img21.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img21&image=rustard4.jpg
TABR (1:03:35 AM): Rustina Part II
[Us] (1:04:29 AM): Jesus Christ.
[Us] (1:04:46 AM): Just a note to readers: The above are graphic images, so click at your own risk.
[Us] (1:05:30 AM): We do not advocate them nor disapprove of them. As Real Troll Talk, we are the Charlie Rose of Internet trolling and simply serve as an outlet for famous trolls to share their innermost feelings and secrets.
[Us] (1:05:42 AM): We thank you for your time, sir.
TABR (1:05:51 AM): You're welcome.

User Journal

Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring "sllort" 6

Journal by Real Troll Talk

Real Troll Talk - Issue #3

Notes

Be notified when there's more Real Troll Talk by adding us as a Friend!

Have a suggestion for Real Trolls we should interview? Leave a comment below along with the troll's screenname/service; you can even nominate yourself!

[Us] (12:48:28 PM): Hi sllort, this is Real Troll Talk. Care to do an interview?
sllort (12:48:39 PM): Fire away
[Us] (12:49:09 PM): Excellent. Well, first off, why don't you describe yourself and your Web antics over the past 5-10 years in a couple sentences or so.
sllort (12:49:25 PM): Well I'm sure you've heard of a site called Slashdot
[Us] (12:49:33 PM): Of course
sllort (12:49:40 PM): I signed up for their site in like, um, 1999
sllort (12:49:59 PM): and that same year they IP banned me for discovering a bug that became known as "multipost"
sllort (12:50:11 PM): In so doing they blocked my entire company from accessing the site.
sllort (12:50:26 PM): So I started documenting their willingness to break their own rules
[Us] (12:50:37 PM): Please explain multipost and what kind of company you worked for.
sllort (12:50:50 PM): Oh, I worked for one of those companies that died with Worldcom
sllort (12:51:01 PM): Doe-eyed, cheery young pups we were.
sllort (12:51:05 PM): Yadda yadda
sllort (12:51:10 PM): Multipost was very simple.
sllort (12:51:29 PM): If you hit "Submit" more than once, more than one copy of your comment would appear.
sllort (12:51:43 PM): So, there was a story about Bastille Linux.
sllort (12:51:52 PM): This upset me, because Bastille was in France.
sllort (12:52:04 PM): So I posted a comment that said "Bastille? but that is in France!"
sllort (12:52:13 PM): And I hit the submit button multiple times.
sllort (12:52:28 PM): Turns out that you only have about three or four seconds, but you could chain it by pressing the button a whole lot
sllort (12:52:38 PM): In the end, about 60 copies of my comment got posted.
sllort (12:52:50 PM): I got first post and 60th post.
[Us] (12:53:06 PM): That's beautiful
sllort (12:53:18 PM): Well, at the time I thought it was a little silly.
sllort (12:53:29 PM): But I thought it would be helpful to write them up and tell them what the problem was.
sllort (12:53:46 PM): I'd read the rules, and they were very clear in saying that people who used scripts against the site would be banned.
sllort (12:53:59 PM): I hadn't used a script, and I'd helped find a problem in Slashcode
sllort (12:54:14 PM): They wouldn't respond to me short of blocking my company's NAT'd IP address.
sllort (12:54:16 PM): It was very rude.
[Us] (12:54:22 PM): Definitely. You should have been thanked.
[Us] (12:54:42 PM): Did you get flack at work, or did they not know that you had caused the /. outage?
sllort (12:55:01 PM): Well, I was moonlighting as the IT monkey there in addition to doing embedded dev work
sllort (12:55:21 PM): So I actually spent a good bit of time having our NAT box seamlessly proxy around the ban.
sllort (12:55:30 PM): So I wouldn't have to explain WTF was wrong.
[Us] (12:55:44 PM): Wow, sounds like 15+ hour work days I bet
sllort (12:55:54 PM): It was cyclic.
sllort (12:56:02 PM): For product deadlines, we worked a lot.
[Us] (12:56:41 PM): So at that point, after doing Rob and the editors a favor by finding a bug and properly reporting it, you were punished by them?
[Us] (12:56:49 PM): At that point, did you fight back?
sllort (12:56:56 PM): Well, understandably there was a difference of opinion.
sllort (12:57:07 PM): What really surprised me, though, was the reaction I got from jamie
sllort (12:57:17 PM): And it's sad, because I no longer have links to any of this crap
[Us] (12:57:17 PM): (i.e. as Modest Mouse puts it, you were "done done done with all the fuckin around")
sllort (12:57:43 PM): I really hadn't been expecting to get cussed out.
sllort (12:57:51 PM): So I tried to raise a stink about it.
[Us] (12:57:54 PM): Wait, Jamie cursed at you?
sllort (12:58:02 PM): Heh, yes.
[Us] (12:58:04 PM): I mean first off, that's a girl's name, right?
sllort (12:58:15 PM): Jamie, heh, sigh.
sllort (12:58:25 PM): He should really change that to a boy's name, like Kirk.
[Us] (12:58:47 PM): Is he a fat little white guy with long greasy hair who wears Converse and sleeveless t-shirts?
sllort (12:58:57 PM): He's extremely skinny actually.
[Us] (12:59:00 PM): Or Adolf perhaps
sllort (12:59:19 PM): He doesn't allow pictures of himself to be taken, but there were some pictures of his back when he was testifying about library filters in Michigan
[Us] (12:59:21 PM): (Adolf means "Skinny vegetarian dictator" in German I believe)
[Us] (12:59:41 PM): Yeah, ugly people are like that sometimes
sllort (12:59:43 PM): I believe he's obsessed with vegetarianism, gun control, and rabbits.
[Us] (12:59:56 PM): You should kill a rabbit with a gun and eat it
[Us] (1:00:00 PM): And show him
sllort (1:00:01 PM): And Philip K. Dick, and Tori Amos.
sllort (1:00:22 PM): I like to pretend to be mature.
[Us] (1:00:38 PM): So I hear you're pretty high up in the chain of trolls...mind explaining the structure? Is there a structure even?
sllort (1:00:49 PM): Oh man.
sllort (1:01:02 PM): If there is a structure I don't know about it.
sllort (1:01:09 PM): Basically you are what you do.
sllort (1:01:39 PM): I managed to bring some publicity to what happened with the Post of Doom
[Us] (1:01:53 PM): I remember that post. Is it still viewable?
sllort (1:02:04 PM): 500 moderators banned, editors admitting for the first time that they moderate comments with unlimited points.
sllort (1:02:37 PM): I like to think that because of collective efforts I took part in, M2 replaced the rtbl, editor moderation is in the FAQ, and IP addresses are no longer stored in their dB
sllort (1:02:44 PM): it is, let me find the link.
[Us] (1:03:00 PM): True, IP addresses and such seem to be MD5'd
sllort (1:03:16 PM): Not that that provides any protection with a SALT
[Us] (1:03:24 PM): What is SALT?
sllort (1:03:31 PM): You know CmdrTaco actually checked his response to that into the source code?
sllort (1:03:35 PM): You can still view it in CVS
sllort (1:03:52 PM): http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=26315&cid=2850660
sllort (1:03:58 PM): over 1000 moderations done.
[Us] (1:04:00 PM): Excellent
sllort (1:04:20 PM): Basically a salt is a random number you combine with the cleartext before you hash it.
[Us] (1:04:25 PM): Are you the most knowledgable troll WRT Slashdot's history, policies, technology, etc.?
sllort (1:04:37 PM): If I try to talk about crypto with authority I will get nitpicked by the Schnier fanboys
sllort (1:04:52 PM): God knows.
[Us] (1:05:01 PM): Who are some trolls that you look up to?
sllort (1:05:10 PM): I'll say this: I've probably spent more time at it than anyone else.
sllort (1:05:36 PM): Hmmm, well that's tough, because that word is so misused.
[Us] (1:05:53 PM): Well, try your best. Name 5-10 members you enjoy.
sllort (1:05:58 PM): The Anne Marie account on Slashdot was, in my mind, the best ever.
sllort (1:06:15 PM): The moon myth post, Lita Juarez
sllort (1:06:37 PM): OGG for singlehandedly getting the caps filter installed.
sllort (1:07:06 PM): And while I hate to blow my own horn, the collaborative work that was the JUNIS KANUNI account was probably the funniest thing I ever did.
sllort (1:07:17 PM): I got help in bypassing the caps lock filter
sllort (1:07:40 PM): http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=27966&cid=3007797
sllort (1:07:54 PM): The source code to that post, if you view source, is pretty funny.
[Us] (1:08:38 PM): Holy Christ. That's insane man.
[Us] (1:08:43 PM): You really do spend a lot of time on this
sllort (1:08:50 PM): Well, I had help with that.
[Us] (1:09:34 PM): Hahahah, that's awesome. If you're reading this, go to that post and view source of the page to see how it was done.
[Us] (1:09:53 PM): How did the Friends/Foe thing come into the picture ?
sllort (1:10:18 PM): Well, basically the only cool Slashteam member in history, Brian Aker (krow) wrote that
sllort (1:10:27 PM): Which is the reason it actually does what it was designed to do
sllort (1:10:40 PM): Though I think that, for the intended purpose, it wasn't much of a success.
sllort (1:10:49 PM): I.E. The be-all end-all anti-troll solution.
[Us] (1:10:59 PM): Right. Who started friend whoring?
sllort (1:11:10 PM): Um.
sllort (1:11:31 PM): Well, that's tricky to answer, though I believe it was perfected by "$$$exyGal" or somesuch
[Us] (1:11:44 PM): Was she ever revealed?
sllort (1:12:02 PM): In the beginning, the same guy who wrote the caps-lock circumventor also figured out some interesting things you could do with Zoo.pl
sllort (1:12:13 PM): We had a link which would befriend or enfoe an account with a single click.
sllort (1:12:19 PM): So while we didn't use it for friend-whoring
sllort (1:12:29 PM): We DID manage to get hundreds of people to mark JonKatz as foe.
[Us] (1:12:48 PM): That's great. Is he still alive, or did his dog eat him?
sllort (1:12:57 PM): They actually laid him off.
sllort (1:13:07 PM): They talked about it in their IRC chat.
[Us] (1:13:08 PM): Was it a paid position?
sllort (1:13:12 PM): Yes!
[Us] (1:13:43 PM): Tell us about some scripts you use/have written for Slashdot
sllort (1:13:49 PM): http://slashdot.org/~jonkatz/freaks
sllort (1:13:54 PM): Well, here's the thing.
sllort (1:14:03 PM): After I got banned for not breaking the rules.
sllort (1:14:12 PM): I was actually meticulous about following them.
sllort (1:14:23 PM): So, the rules say "no scripted interaction with the site".
sllort (1:14:43 PM): Now, the JUNIS script, that's a script which generates a comment which you could paste into a browser, so that doesn't count.
sllort (1:14:51 PM): So, stuff like that.
[Us] (1:14:53 PM): Agreed. No violation.
sllort (1:15:05 PM): Scripts to build a comment which will pass the lameness filter.
[Us] (1:15:21 PM): Excellent. Would you say you're a bit "off your rocker", or are you just really brilliant with some free time on your hands?
sllort (1:15:37 PM): More of the latter, but minus the brilliant.
[Us] (1:15:52 PM): You're not a stupid man though, sllort
[Us] (1:15:56 PM): By any means
sllort (1:15:58 PM): I look at www.google-watch.com
sllort (1:16:10 PM): That guy who rants about how evil Google is.
sllort (1:16:20 PM): Now, this guy is upset because they screwed up his business model.
sllort (1:16:33 PM): Because he was fucking with search engines to make money.
sllort (1:16:45 PM): Me, on the other hand, I'm not motivated by money.
[Us] (1:16:58 PM): That's funny shit. People truly are selfish, which is why capitalism/America works so well.
sllort (1:17:10 PM): I think what really motivates me is the fact that Slashdot's system truly does exclude reasonable people.
[Us] (1:17:35 PM): What's your life like when you're not tinkering around on Slashdot's servers?
sllort (1:17:45 PM): No one will believe this
sllort (1:17:52 PM): But I'm a fanatical endurance athelete
sllort (1:18:03 PM): And I own almost no technology
sllort (1:18:13 PM): I leave work at work.
[Us] (1:18:21 PM): So you have a 486 and good pair of running shoes?
sllort (1:18:37 PM): No 486, actually no computer at the moment, and no television
sllort (1:18:45 PM): I have a couple pair of running shoes
[Us] (1:18:57 PM): Is there a girl/guy in the picture?
[Us] (1:19:04 PM): Surely you must do something at home
sllort (1:19:11 PM): Well, of course.
sllort (1:19:26 PM): But for her sake, I keep her out of my online affairs.
[Us] (1:19:48 PM): I hope she's at least mildly attractive
sllort (1:19:55 PM): See above :-P
[Us] (1:19:57 PM): Where are you working these days
sllort (1:20:16 PM): The greater washington area.
[Us] (1:20:37 PM): DC or WAstate?
sllort (1:20:45 PM): Oh, DC
sllort (1:21:00 PM): Home of Marion Barry, murder capitol of the world.
[Us] (1:21:16 PM): Excellent. Perhaps you could meet up with us sometime.
[Us] (1:21:27 PM): I promised I'd keep this short, so for now, good bye
sllort (1:21:35 PM): Peace
[Us] (1:21:38 PM): Keep up the good work
[Us] (1:21:42 PM): Fight the good fight
[Us] (1:21:43 PM): ?
sllort (1:21:50 PM): Profit
sllort (1:22:00 PM): Not likely :-):-)

User Journal

Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring "TRoLLaXoR" 6

Journal by Real Troll Talk

Real Troll Talk - Issue #2

Notes

Be notified when there's more Real Troll Talk by adding me as a Friend!

Have a suggestion for Real Trolls we should interview? Leave a comment below along with the troll's screenname/service; you can even nominate yourself!

Interview
[Me] (3:18:12 AM): ror
TRoLLaXoR (3:18:29 AM): hello
[Me] (3:24:02 AM): how is your .com business?
TRoLLaXoR (3:24:11 AM): trollaxor.com is raking it in sir
[Me] (3:24:31 AM): excellent. what is your main customer demographic?
TRoLLaXoR (3:24:54 AM): gay niggers
[Me] (3:26:34 AM): are you being serious?
TRoLLaXoR (3:26:45 AM): have you read my site lately?
[Me] (3:29:02 AM): yes, i've seen it
[Me] (3:29:11 AM): you basically have an archive of your trolls
TRoLLaXoR (3:29:14 AM): yessir
TRoLLaXoR (3:29:21 AM): gay niggers go mad for trollaxor.com
[Me] (3:29:52 AM): i actually have a friend who happens to be black and is bi-sexual
[Me] (3:30:04 AM): so technically i guess he's not really a gay nigger but he's close
TRoLLaXoR (3:30:09 AM): vary
[Me] (3:56:30 AM): why do you think other trolls kind of looked up to you?
[Me] (3:56:41 AM): at one point, you had quite a following
TRoLLaXoR (3:57:32 AM): i had a site.
TRoLLaXoR (3:57:36 AM): a working scoop site.
[Me] (3:58:45 AM): why did you initially go with scoop as opposed to slashcode?
TRoLLaXoR (4:00:40 AM): i had slash installed. it was a wreck. scoop worked much smoother.
[Me] (4:00:58 AM): how did you learn about computers?
TRoLLaXoR (4:02:23 AM): i got a commodore when i was six.
[Me] (4:07:14 AM): then the commodore, then you found the web at some point
TRoLLaXoR (4:07:23 AM): halloween 1995
[Me] (4:07:38 AM): what was your first ISP?
TRoLLaXoR (4:07:47 AM): AOL. i immediately went to work on the AOL chat rooms.
[Me] (4:08:03 AM): which ones did you target?
TRoLLaXoR (4:08:12 AM): i'm pretty sure the gay ones
[Me] (4:09:48 AM): explain your first techniques
TRoLLaXoR (4:10:14 AM): pretty close to, but not as clever (ror) as http://trollaxor.com/text/cybersex.html
[Me] (4:11:20 AM): ror
[Me] (4:11:44 AM): i particularly like your "i just ruptured your colon boooooommmmm" line
[Me] (4:12:06 AM): how did you originally think of these trolling tactics/skills/techniques?
[Me] (4:12:17 AM): are you simply a natural?
TRoLLaXoR (4:12:38 AM): i guess so. they were pretty crude. pretty much "FAGS LOLOL"
TRoLLaXoR (4:12:44 AM): but the urge was always there.
TRoLLaXoR (4:13:04 AM): i started baiting them after a while
TRoLLaXoR (4:13:07 AM): tricking them
TRoLLaXoR (4:13:19 AM): things changed once i hit slashdot though
[Me] (4:13:36 AM): i'm sure they did
[Me] (4:13:51 AM): we can continue this at some other time
TRoLLaXoR (4:14:00 AM): i'm around all night
TRoLLaXoR (4:14:07 AM): i don't get out of here til noon eastern
[Me] (4:14:24 AM): of course, you're trollaxor
[Me] (4:14:35 AM): good night
TRoLLaXoR (4:14:46 AM): bye

User Journal

Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring "pb" 1

Journal by Real Troll Talk

Real Troll Talk - Issue #1

Notes

Be notified when there's more Real Troll Talk by adding me as a Friend!

Have a suggestion for Real Trolls we should interview? Leave a comment below along with the troll's screenname/service; you can even nominate yourself!

Interview
[Me] (10:16:19 PM): hey man what are you up to?
pb (10:16:31 PM): geeking out, in parallel
pb (10:16:55 PM): me, ubu, and Captain_Tenille are actually *getting shit done* re: vector space searching
pb (10:17:10 PM): dailykos just started using it, k5 should soon follow
pb (10:17:37 PM): and in a couple of days I'm going on vacation, heading up to Maine
[Me] (10:18:09 PM): to see rusty?
pb (10:18:26 PM): not primarily, but he mentioned that maybe we could get together
pb (10:18:32 PM): my family has an old summer home up there
[Me] (10:18:48 PM): go see him and his wife and take pics
pb (10:18:52 PM): haha
pb (10:18:54 PM): now now...
[Me] (10:19:21 PM): would you ever fuck his wife is she snuck into your guest room at night and said she wanted your cock?
pb (10:19:31 PM): of course, if I was one of those fuckers who went everywhere with a digital camera, I probably would
pb (10:19:44 PM): probably not, sadly
[Me] (10:19:57 PM): fuckin pussy. be a man and fuck her
pb (10:20:04 PM): no dude, I've seen pictures
[Me] (10:20:31 PM): are you saying she's ugly
pb (10:20:39 PM): she's just not my type
pb (10:21:00 PM): I'm sure she'd never do that anyhow, because she's with Rusty, and therefore they're probably both goody little two-shoes
[Me] (10:21:42 PM): so basically you're saying that if she weren't fat and ugly and if she weren't a dweeb, you'd fuck her and cum inside her pussy?
pb (10:21:53 PM): maybe
[Me] (10:22:06 PM): is your girl ugly?
pb (10:22:10 PM): no
pb (10:22:26 PM): I guess I'm just loyal like that too :-)
[Me] (10:23:48 PM): i'm getting at this -> who's less ugly, your bitch or rusty's bitch?
pb (10:24:01 PM): beats me
pb (10:24:06 PM): I guess rusty's bitch is just plain
[Me] (10:24:26 PM): do you think he cums on her face like in pornos?
pb (10:24:39 PM): I think he asks for permission
[Me] (10:24:59 PM): do you do that to your girl?
pb (10:25:11 PM): no comment :-)
[Me] (10:25:54 PM): do you think rusty puts his penis into her pussy?
[Me] (10:26:00 PM): (correction: ass)
pb (10:26:03 PM): I would expect so... ah
pb (10:26:10 PM): who knows dude
pb (10:26:17 PM): is this what you do in your free time?
[Me] (10:26:17 PM): do you put it in your girl's asshole?
[Me] (10:27:06 PM): (i have done it, it's awesome and nothing to be ashamed of, so be honest)
pb (10:27:14 PM): heh, I have too
[Me] (10:27:56 PM): it's a little bit tight and they wince sometimes but if you relax and make them relax it works out, though it feels a bit faggity and you probably get AIDS
pb (10:28:04 PM): haha
[Me] (10:28:59 PM): i know you are a strong proponent of open source....
pb (10:29:11 PM): I suppose I am
[Me] (10:29:15 PM): do you feel that men who use linux/open source are at least slightly more prone to be homosexual?
pb (10:29:29 PM): ... than the general population?
[Me] (10:29:37 PM): and be honest here, considering the effeminate and weak limp wrist nature of many of our linux friends
pb (10:29:38 PM): maybe.
pb (10:29:56 PM): but to answer that one honestly, it's tricky
pb (10:30:04 PM): maybe they're just more likely to *admit it*
[Me] (10:30:08 PM): many linux friends of mine have lisps, are very weak (would have been killed in NAZi germany), and don't have girlfriends
pb (10:30:12 PM): haha
[Me] (10:31:04 PM): would you ever kiss a man?
pb (10:31:19 PM): sure, but I don't think I'd ever want to
[Me] (10:32:12 PM): if a man swept you off your feet and treated you like a woman but like a queen and bought you gifts and kissed you and loved you and took care of you, could you possibly imagine feeling love for him as well and letting him continue owning your body?
pb (10:32:51 PM): ugh
[Me] (10:33:00 PM): be open minded please
pb (10:33:00 PM): I doubt it, that would be weird
[Me] (10:33:21 PM): you know, a man like rusty or rob malda...they have a lot of money...
pb (10:33:26 PM): haha
pb (10:33:41 PM): [insert link to one of the Hemos sex stories]
[Me] (10:33:41 PM): connections...they're smart and fun...would you consider letting them enter your ass if you fell in love ?
pb (10:33:54 PM): that sounds like a vacuously true question
[Me] (10:34:21 PM): just be honest here, i know you're open minded and enjoy the linux commoradory
pb (10:34:31 PM): i guess so, but i kind of doubt it although my mind has been changed in the past about things
[Me] (10:34:35 PM): ok cool
pb (10:34:45 PM): definitely
[Me] (10:34:52 PM): how is scoop development going?
pb (10:34:54 PM): I'll be going back to researching Bloom filters
pb (10:35:06 PM): what ubu and I are doing doesn't really touch on scoop
pb (10:35:15 PM): but Captain_Tenille seems to be doing well with it
[Me] (10:35:19 PM): ok, but sum up scoop/rusty/k5 in one word
pb (10:35:30 PM): /me ponders
pb (10:35:50 PM): diminished
[Me] (10:36:01 PM): i agree. have a good night pb
pb (10:36:06 PM): 'night

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