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Well, after over a year of looking for a job, I'm convinced this economy is in the toilet. I've since moved back to my hometown which is significantly cheaper to live in than Seattle was (rent is half of what it was in Seattle, with some utilities even being paid for that Seattle wasn't covering (which basically means everything), and cost of living is generally lower (read: everything at the grocery store is 15-30% cheaper than identical stores in Seattle)). I'll give tech jobs a chance when it looks like things have turned around.. in the mean time, let the resume rotting continue!

(Additional note-- I looked for jobs *everywhere* in this country explicitly stating that I was willing to relocate, so my location was irrelevant. Plus, if going by the job boards was any indicator, Seattle still had a good share of tech job openings, just a lot less like everywhere else.)