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Comment: Re:August (Score 2, Funny) 1146

by DAtkins (#28960257) Attached to: Navigating a Geek Marriage?
As a geek husband to a nerd wife - I can personally say that traditional marriage advice isn't as much help as some might suggest. However, I've also found that it's really quite easy and very rewarding if you can quickly work out the following details...

1) Fight well. I can't stress this enough, while arguing well with normal people is certainly important - arguing well with a fellow geek is imperative. Whether you are arguing about who the better Star Trek captain is, or who should do the dishes that night - geeks have strong opinions on all things that are generally based on well thought out logic. Chances are, in most situations you are both right according to your viewpoints. Learning to fight in a way that acknowledges that the fight is about a difference in opinion rather than a right/wrong dichotomy is the best way to maintain a good relationship. Keeping your cool and fighting on a logical basis will enable both of you to demonstrate respect for the other person's knowledge and experience. Of course, many fights are based on emotions that you don't fully understand but need to express - and understanding when this is occurring and to not take offense to these moments is also important. On the occasions that I yell at my wife - she almost immediately closes up and stops talking. She has confided to me that during these moments she simply thinks "wow, that is one angry monkey" and stops talking to give the "monkey brain" time to express itself.

2) Work together. Not necessarily at a job, but working together really builds a collective "us vs. them" attitude - even when "them" is the grass or laundry. Traditional sex roles don't really apply in a geek marriage (except of course, where they do) - so division of labor either doesn't exist or is negotiated explicitly. While division of labor is important the times that you work together are the moments that you really appreciate the contributions of the other (and geeks love to feel appreciated).

3) Unless otherwise stated, the ideas you read in books about how to make your wife feel special are full of crap (for a geek marriage). Yes, my wife likes flowers - but she'd return jewelry or any of the other varied objects of affection. The bad thing about this is that the traditional gifts are pretty worthless to her, so books don't help you. The good news is, she recognizes that time spent together is the best gift - since we both have hobbies that we might be doing otherwise. Stepping aside from a match of L4D and having a nice home cooked dinner together carries the same weight as other less practical gift giving might carry for other people.

4) You may find that some of the things that "normal" (boring?) wives do, simply don't happen. My wife hates to shop. I hate to shop. We rarely actually have new things like clothes because of it. While it's occasionally annoying to shop for my own underwear, it also means we never have to have a discussion about wasting money. It doesn't happen - except maybe for Transformers.

5) I asked my wife this question over lunch to see if she had any particular advice. He answer was rather poignant I think. "Two geeks getting married? They won't have any problems at all" I have to thank her for such unbridled optimism. She then followed it up with "He does know that actual emotion being expressed by either side is rare though, right? I hate emotional people." Quite right honey, quite right :-)

6) Almost forgot! give them time alone when they want/need it. They have their own projects they want to do - give them the independence to accomplish them and she'll give your yours.

Comment: Re:What does Marijuana have to do with this? (Score 1) 709

by DAtkins (#28197139) Attached to: Open Government Brainstorm Defies Wisdom of Crowds
My analysis seems to be a bit different from yours...
Strengthen our democracy: This is obviously an important issue for a number of American citizens, one that it being ignored by our elected representatives due to it's perceived negative political consequences. When we focus on problems that are politically expedient, we dismiss the problems for which genuine debate would be the most helpful.
Promote efficiency: Given the choice between pot being managed by the IRS or the judicial system - I have to give the efficiency card to the IRS. While comparing the relative efficiencies of teenage stoners is a clever image - it has no bearing on the efficiency of government or the efficiency of the people to interact with the government.
Making government more transparent: It would certainly help to show that the government will address issues that the common people find important. Currently, it has the reputation of being run in closed door meetings over issues that corporate sponsors find important. Certainly marijuana isn't an end-all-be-all issue that would prove anything, but it would show that politicians are willing to at least consider ideas that come from the people - and debate them openly.
Collaborative: The marijuana question is actually quite collaborative, as it's one of the few issues that not only brings to debate the problem - but actively proposes various solutions. Unlike other important issues like transportation (traffic sucks, fix it!), health care (we need insurance!), or foreign policy (rabble, rabble, rabble!) - marijuana legalization actually proposes methods of taxing, earmarking tax revenue, continued regulation, possible international consequences, etc. all based on concrete historical data.
I fully understand and respect that marijuana legalization is not important to you. To many people however, legalization is important to them - and perhaps more importantly represents the low-hanging fruit of governmental reform. For people who see it as a problem, the solution seems to obvious that they can't help but insist that it be debated rationally long before complex reorganization reaches the halls of congress - who seems more interested in talking about useless matters like gay marriage.
Finally, your recollections of childhood stoners has little bearing on pot smokers in general - just like your recollections of childhood drinkers has little bearing on adult drinkers. Responsibility is required in both instances, and is the genuine problem that you friends had. Sir Richard Branson smokes pot, and what a lazy asshole he is! Yeah, anecdotal evidence is practically useless.

Comment: Re:Not convincing and very lame. (Score 1) 607

by DAtkins (#28127477) Attached to: An Argument For Leaving DNS Control In US Hands

As it currently stands Taiwan doesn't have UN representation (China's few vetos tend to be used on their membership requests) so it wouldn't have a TLD right now at all. Nor would any other country that currently has a beef with one of the big 5 countries.

As far as foreign countries go - it may make other countries upset, but it's still in the best interest of the US Government to use it as a tool of diplomacy.

I'm all for computer dating, but I wouldn't want one to marry my sister.

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