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You know, the ones who have been planning their weddings since they were five years old. Honestly, ever since I found out what a wedding is (and I quote the 8-year old me at my sister's wedding: "Ew! You have to kiss in front of everybody?!* I'm never getting married!"), I've been trying to figure out how best to not have one.

But then I found out that the Science Museum has banquet facilities**, thanks to janeowit. What better reason for a party is there?!*** I would finally have an excuse to inflict pocket periodic tables upon everybody! It would be fabulous.

[*] I'm still not doing it.

[**] Of course you are bound to use their caterer, which happens to be the same one that sells hot dogs out of a cart at the Zoo.

[***] Except possibly to be rich enough to afford a party at the Guthrie, which would happening approximately never and periodic tables would just seem out of place.

My house sold. You know, the one I was going to buy just as soon as I saved up $320,000 for a 20% down payment. I've decided that I need to set my sights a little lower, at least until I can afford an $8,000 mortgage payment. That should be any day now, right?

So Some Guy and I are looking at condos (yes, I know they are not the best real estate investment; it's a compromise). Of course, we won't be able to afford one until about a year after he returns from The Land Which Shall Not Be Named. So of course I went to an Open House last weekend. It's the voyeur in me. He wants to see the place this weekend (new development, the owner is hanging out there every weekend until all units sell), but I really don't want him to recognize me. Of course he will. I just hate for him to think that I'm actually going to buy one of his condos anytime in the next 2 years.

Poll: How should I disguise myself?

A) Thelma and/or Louise
B) Standard spy glasses with attached moustache
C) Wooden horse
D) Houseplant
E) Ski mask
F) Invisibility cloak
G) Pregnant zombie nun

Gmail Vignette

From: Some Woman
To: Some Guy
I will have to miss playing Soccer Girl in two weeks to reprise my role as Engineer Girl at a [Company] Lecture dinner. (Another female speaker.) :^)

From: Some Guy
To: Some Woman
How come you get to have all the superhero jobs?

From: Some Guy
To: Some Woman
Because my X-chromosomes are in high demand. :^)

Instead of a cape, I am sporting a purple lab coat. All of the coolness, with none of the risks. (We all know what happens to superheroes who wear capes!)

It occured to me the other day that people not familiar with The Cat Who Eats Everything might find it odd that our oven controls feature a post-it note with the warning: Donuts in oven!

I had become so used to it that I accidentally baked the donuts.

I'm like an adult or something now! Where's my membership card?!