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User Journal

Journal: The future

Journal by Cryptopotamus

The sun rose over the horizon as the new day awakened. Its beams of piercing light penetrated the office window that Rob sat in. He had fallen asleep at his desk again after a long night of coding a new Microsoft Flash 2005 game for his web site. Rob turned his head away from the sun. His skin was pale and his eyes never could quite adjust to the yellow glow of sunlight. He preferred the subtle gray-green shine from 44-watt florescent bulbs. Sleeping at his desk became a nasty habit. The ergochair his boss bought from Thinkgeek.com was too comfortable.

Rob finally pulled himself out of the ergochair, reaching for a bottle of Bawls. He unscrewed the cap and swallowed down the last five milliliters. "I don't know why I bought seven cases of this shit with my signing bonus," he thought to himself. He looked at his watch: it read 0000 0111 0011 0010. Damn, the boss will be here 30 minutes! Rob knew he smelled like a goat. Techies always smelled like field animals after coding Flash subroutines for 19 hours straight. Rob's boss, Jeff, wasn't digging the fact that he always smelled like the dumpster outside Chili's. Rob found some handiwipes in a bottom drawer of his desk and ran to the restroom. He stripped down and applied the handiwipe bathing technique he had learned from an O'Reily book. Four minutes later, Rob emerged from the wrong restroom smelling like a new man.

Jeff arrived right on time as always. He had a mug of Starbucks in his left hand, and a copy of the Wall Street Journal in the right hand. Ever since that old Slashdot web site was taken offline by the Scientologist lawyers, Jeff devoted more time to reading newspapers and current event magazines. He finally figured out how to juggle stock options and improve his golf swing. Jeff strolled in and passed Rob's office door. He said hello to his childhood buddy. Rob muttered, "Yo, what's up! Look at this gold chest I found in Everquest Reality." Jeff walked in, stepping over a box of Bawls, looking at the 50cm flatscreen monitor. "Yeah, that's pretty cool, Rob." Jeff said. Rob knew he wasn't supposed to play games during work hours, but Jeff never forced him to stop. Jeff walked out of the office saying, "Remember we have that contract negotiation with Mr. Gates this afternoon. Be sure to have your suit and tie on before we leave for his office." Rob waved his hand and returned to his skirmish in Everquest. Jeff walked to his office hoping that he won't embarrass the company again this afternoon.

To be continued...

Nobody's gonna believe that computers are intelligent until they start coming in late and lying about it.

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