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Technology

Journal: Vladinator, you make me retch

Journal by Cock Cockwood
You are supposed to be a family man. You have two infant sons. You should be performing paternal duties. You should be out earning money and busting your ass for the benefit of your young sons. You are not doing that, Vladinator. You are not well off, Vladinator. I know you're not well off. If you were well off and didn't have to live off government cheese and handouts from the Catholic church, then you would at least be able to keep a common housecat for a pet. You are so dirt poor that you can't even keep a fucking cat you scumbag. Your business is a horseshit dead end. You believe that you're going to put food on the table by breaking even with a shitty web hosting service that tens of thousands of other competetive behemoth businesses already offer at more reasonable rates? You're utterly fucking batshit, man. Your shitass community college classes aren't going to do a fucking thing for you.

Newsflash asshole: the job market is low, and you are NEVER going back to IT ever because there are cheaper and better educated BSIS and BSIT employees out there. These people can do algebra. They can program rudimentary ANSI C with little trouble, unlike you. They will take what they can get, because this market is rightly imploding. You aren't intelligent or nearly motivated enough to obtain the one IT certificate that means a damn thing these days (the CCIE). Give up the pipe dream, you scumbag.

A real man would be working his fingers to the bone for his young family. He would take the janitor's night shift at the local Wal*Mart (which pays extremely well) to take care of the rent. He would deliver pizzas were he to keep himself from belligerently verbally assaulting customers at random times. A real man would spend his weekends making his family prosperous. A real man would not spend Sundays bickering about an imagined online stalking ordeal, wallowing in self-pity. He wouldn't have to rely on community welfare and familial pity. You sir, are not a man. You're an overweight thirty-something child. Grow up, douchebag.
Education

Journal: Vladinator, your family is deformed and repulsive.

Journal by Cock Cockwood
None of them have a redeeming quality to them. They're easily the most putrid collection of retarded mongrels I have EVER seen in my life. Take for instance, this bloated sack. That's Linda, and she looks like the fucking Grinch That Stole Christmas. Notice how The Grinch is balding. That is hilarious and sickening at the same time. Double chin, cokebottle glasses. What a filthy slag. Beyond repair, destined to work the rest of her life in that "temporary" garment factory job. Good thing you belong to a union, cunt. Deeee-formed.

Oh, look at this! It's vladinator's fat sister! LOL! It looks like the Michelin tire mascot, only real! While girls of that age are usually pretty tiny, this one packs on the pounds and weighs as much as a stubby college sophomore football player! Better keep feeding her those Johnsonville Bratwursts! She's a female spitting image of Scott Lockwood in every way. It's got the tits of Lockwood, the gut of Lockwood, the fat head, the chin that barely exists, and yes, a one inch cock. Check out that pot belly. Deeee-formed. Still, I wouldn't bar the possibility that Lockwood, a known pederast has had his way with this miniature version of himself. The many ways that narcissism is manifested has continued to astound me over the years.

Well, how cute. If your eyes are not bleeding yet, you're looking at a picture of Linda and Linda Junior ogling the litte human turd Marticock! LOL! Check out the gut on that kid, it's pretty unnatural. Doctors would probably recommend liposuction for health reasons.

Here we have "Staramama" and "Starata" making plans for their Marticock stew. Yeah, okay. Lockwoods can't even use good pet names for their deformed collection of turd family, so they come up with dumb fucking crap like "Staramama". Oh man, just another insight into the pathetic world of Lockwoodytes.

Oh god! Now we come to the grand finale, Marticock. Notice the resemblence to Cock Lockwoodyte. Lacks the chin. Slimy. Caked in blood. Poor eyesight. Fat. Clearly destined to become as big, if not an even worse of a failure than his father. What an ugly little bastard. Good job vladinator, it's your fault he's going to be a bottomfeeder like yourself.

P.S. your wife's image is worth 1,000,000 words and needs no caption because it SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. Strictly the dregs.
The 2000 Beanies

Journal: Trolltalk sucks because of you, Vladinator. 1

Journal by Cock Cockwood
You pile of scum! You dastardly bastard! You represent everything which is socially unacceptable! You condemn the real proletariat, yet you have been unemployed for months! You're the ugliest self- consoling perpetual victim ever to have existed! If you lived in the lovely city of Montréal, you'd be part of the 14% unemployed demographic! You sack of rotting filth! Your business performs so poorly that you claim to be unemployed rather than self-employed. What a heaping mass of gelatin and hot gas! In the United States Navy for eight years? What happened to those tax-wages, you walking vagina? Did you spend it all on pornographic video tapes, cigarettes and cheap blended scotch? You skidmark on the whitey- tighties of society! Nothing's your fault, is it? Human paraquat! You're a diseased waste-basket! You have an overweight wife and son to take care of! Double shifts, delivering pizzas, stocking shelves, cashiering, attending a gas station, driving trucks, construction, plumbing. All 'beneath' you. Scumbag. In retrospect, the latter three occupations clearly require more skill than you're capable. Should you actually strive for such professions, your despicable attitude and attention span will make that nearly impossible. Find X if X + 5 = 13. You don't know, do you, dipshit? I pity Marticock, he's been brought into the world by leeches disguised as people. Welfare-collecting socialist trash. May he be spared the suffering and succumb to cradle death. He'd be blessed to be afflicted with SIDS.
User Journal

Journal: Dear Pentouse

Journal by Cock Cockwood
Did you see this hot little number? I had my way with that for three hours in Reza's hospital room. Reza didn't like it, but who gives a fuck. She's a bed-ridden fatty exhausted from birth, there's not a flying fuck she could have done about it anyhow. As you can see, her eyes are the size of dinner plates as I brought my pants' fly down, exposing my man-meat to her. Seconds later, she dropped her retarded nephew on his head and was on my pole like a Jewish American Princess on an American Express Platinum Card. She moaned with delight as I inserted my spit-lubed cock into her willing young anus. Little Martin Anton "Booster" Lockwood lay on the cold hospital tile for the entire time, gurgling with a concussion no doubt.

Your Loyal Reader
~wsl3 (pseudonym used to protect the innocent)
The 2000 Beanies

Journal: Dear Vladinator: 2

Journal by Cock Cockwood
Vladinator, Cock Cockwood, WSL3, whatever you call youself these days, I am not associated with this so-called Anti-Vlad Triad you seem obsessed with. I can tell you, however, with one-hundred percent accuracy: you're an irritating fuck, and that's why I berate you with my masterful authoring skills which exceed yours by several hundred orders of magnitude. I was ever so glad when you announced your intention to submit to the cease-fire conditions and decided to go about business. Then I saw your stupid slimy fuck Scott Lockwood account post to slashdot, and that tore it. You sack of shit! You're a liar and a breaker of contracts, and now Trolltalk is visibly one-million times more retarded than before your arm-waving thanks mostly to your own efforts, which consist mainly of modifying pop-lyrics to suit a rather unoriginal mudslinging campaign for your own sake. It is rather clear that you broke the ceasefire conditions with the Scott Lockwood account, as evidenced by a subsequent AC reply which reads "Welcome to World War Three, asshole". While it is apparent that should you cease your feeble keyboard slappings, your 'agressors' would cease, I fear that you will only repeat the cycle at a later date. So, really, this is of your own doing. You're clearly not intelligent enough to understand this and therefore blame others.

Here are instructions of which you'll follow: QUIT IT, IRRITIATING SHITHEAD. Fade into obscurity like a real person, you were never interesting and never sucessfully trolled. Quite the opposite, really. You'll never be a troll, you totally lack the capacity. You're an idiot just like the the other mongoloids spawned during spork era.
Christmas Cheer

Journal: All Hands on Deck! 2

Journal by Cock Cockwood
Hi there silly buns! My name is Scott Lockwood, but my friend Teddy calls me Vladinator, and sometimes "Rubberneck." I'm skilled in the arts of reach-around, felching, hot lunch and sodomy! I also run a site that used to be dedicated to weakass trolling, but now it's a breeding ground for three-bit hacks and talentless writers!

I have a wife named Reza, but that's merely a façade marriage to divert attention from my true lifestyle, although I often enjoy burying my face in dimpled thigh fat and inhaling her rich yeast scent. I also love to purse my lips.

I suppose my downward spiral of perversion can be easily traced, right back to the ripe age of six! Father McCallihan (Catholicism is the easiest institution to scope homoerotic sexual activity, bar none) at St. Andrew's Cathedral lured me into his priest chambers with the promise of sweets. I got something much better. He penetrated my young asshole with the foot-end of a lubed crucifix that day, and I continued to willingly return for more fun every subsequent Sunday.

What came next in my life is what I consider to be the next important step in my life.

Father McCallihan urged me to join the U.S. Navy. I was reluctant at first, but after Father McCallihan explained to me a new acquisition of young meat, thoughts of sweaty tight-ended sailors got me hard. I had to join. I spent eight WONDERFUL years circle jerking and showering nude with young men. My best memories are from shore leave in the Philippines, where a glass bottle of Coca Cola buys you a rimjob from a local 13 year old boy. I will cherish those days, because sadly I was courtmartialed after being caught ankle deep in Ensign Henderson's rectum with Deck-Ape Richards in my ass on the Rear Admiral's desk! Ooopssssss!

Every time I'm cited as an irritating prick by my online friends, I curl up into a fetal position and sob for two hours in my stained bathtub. I feel better about myself after Reza empties her bowels on me while I sob.

But life goes on. I am somewhat happier now that I've met Teddy through the classified ads, and my weekend flings with Emad El- Haraty, a hardcore rimmer. mmmmmmmm.

Toodles!
The Almighty Buck

Journal: William Scott Lockwood III: Masochist 2

Journal by Cock Cockwood
Scott Lockwood seems to have shortchanged himself in almost every critical life decision. Let's examine the facts, hmm?

The High School Dropout
Too busy masturbating and doing things of higher priority, Lockwood cannot be bothered with this basic certificate, which is pretty much a requisite for any grunt job. Lockwood, instead of taking advantage of the government-funded schooling system and free tutoring, finds basic arithmetic and algebra "hard". We later find that Lockwood is incapable of basic logical thought during his brief laughable attempts at learning the ANSI C programming language.

The Enlisted Navy Man
What better organizaton to surrender your humanity to? The homosexual disco group The Village People became famous by singing about the glories of showering nude with other men and staying on vessels for months at a time with them. He spent eight years in the service, protecting precisely nothing, and was paid relatively handsomely for it. Yet, we see in the future that he manages to squander any potential wealth he may have acquired.

Divorcer, Threefold, ???, Profit!!!
Ah, the glories of the modern age. It's said that a full sixty percent of modern marriages do not last, and that success is usually obtained in a second marriage. Lockwood, clearly a rebel, bucks that trend with four marriages and three divorces! Alimony, alimony, alimony. An obvious progressive, he even fathers two children with his first wife and deadbeats the poor little bastards. The children themselves have restraining orders against this child molester. Let us not forget that he's a habitual alcoholic.

Bye Bye Navy Pay, Hello Shitty IT Cash
When you're dishonorably discharged for trying to anally rape your superior officers in the Navy, one must seek employment elsewhere to pay your familial woes. Luckily for Lockwood, the dot-com bubble was inflating like so much mucous in his nasal cavities. However, as a low-level IT tech, he gets fired on several occasions for looking at pornography and conversing through text messaging on company time. Couple that with the fact that he can do nary basic math, you can see why nobody would want to keep him on the payroll. In the midst of this employment strife, we also find that Lockwood has an almost habit-like tendency to host tens of slash and scoop sites on his own dollar, while at the same time having to supply wheelbarrows upon wheelbarrows of foodstuffs to his gigantic fourth wife. So much a habit, this weblog addiction, Lockwood is forced to re-locate his residence and even necessarily parts with a cat (remember, it stares at your genitals, dur hurrrr)! Lockwood can accurately be described as a self-debting money pit.

Irritating and Inane Internet Idiot!
Lockwood, a nuisance from the start, takes pride in his irritating presence on the interent, and even boasts of his fidonet days. Lockwood is also an expert troll, as evidenced by these posts. Truly an intelligent and witty troll.

"No job too big; no fee too big!" -- Dr. Peter Venkman, "Ghost-busters"

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