Oh, you aren't trapped. You simply have failed to recognize this as a sign from St. Jobs that your tithing is becoming a bit stingy for a fine, upstanding member of the Cult of Apple.
Free yourself from your shackles! Bask in the Glorious Light of a Retina Display (on certain models), of towers that can be confused with an ashtray, of connectors used by no one else on the planet. Of operating systems with the lifespan of a midge fly.
Or, you can be doomed forever in the Pit of Financial Sobriety.
The choice is yours. Upgrade or die.