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User Journal

Journal: Wierd Toy

Journal by Chira
I just got home by bus after going out for a movie, of course, with Dan. I had found interesting toys at the bus stop.

Next to the bus stop, there was a boutiuqe shop with some toys for sale in front (I guessed the owner wanted to increase an income). I love toys, so, I went in the shop just to take a look. I met really cool toys there...
  • The rubber human heads with latex inside eye sockets. When you squeeze its head, the latex will spurt out of the eyes and go back inside when you release it.
  • The rubber human heads with latex inside noses. This kind will give you a green snot overview after squeezing.
  • The rubber boobs (.)(.) give the breast milk from two tits.
  • The rubber pennis =>. Can you guess what it will look like?

I bought the last one. It would be very good for my anger management.

P.S. Dan suggested me to get a bigger one for the better result.

User Journal

Journal: Page 23 Sentence 5 :)

Journal by Chira
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Turn to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

The AFL-CIO is an organization of trade unions.

from: OXFORD Advanced Learner's Dictionary. This is my most treasured book.
User Journal

Journal: Songkran Day (Thai New Year) 3

Journal by Chira
Well... well... well, I had to deal with 'New Year' again. I think it sounds great to enjoy new year for four months, but in the mean time I can't keep myself excited about this anymore. So, I went to stay at my mom's house instead of stay home. Of course, Dan was with me all the time. :)

Song Kran Day is from April 13th - 15th every year. For this year, Dan and I went to spend the holiday with my family (to get in touch with them). We went there on April 14th and stayed overnight. Next morning, mom woke up early and made some food for the donation -- Thais belive that they can send love, good wishes, etc. to spirits by passing those feelings through the food which has been prayed upon by monks. Around 9.00 a.m.,everybody went to a temple at Muang Thong (my father was cremated there). Then we went back home.

After luch, my brother, Dan and I discussed about what we were going to do in the afternoon. The most important thing in Songkran Day was playing with water. Finally, we (my brother and his daugther, Dan and I) went to 'KHAO SARN ROAD'. It was amazing down there, a big crowd, ice water fighting, men, women, spaghetti straps, short skirts, bras, belly bottons, crossdressers, beers, and a load of fun.

Dan was 'the man' for our group. He was hit on by all sorts of human and every generation. He was also 'the representative' for us, too. He was shouting 'Sa-Was-Dee-Pee-Mai, Khor-Hai-Tuk-Kon-Mee-Khaum-Suk-Krap (Happy New Year, Best wishes to everyone)' loudly along the way. People were surprised by him because he could speak Thai and even talk to them in Thai. Some of those people, especially the crossdressers, loved to grab his butt and chest (nipple) because they thought that Dan was sooooooo cute.

Before we went back home, we had to walk from Khao sarn road to the main road. We had to pass the 'Din Sau Pong' storm -- Din Sau Pong is chalk powder that will be mixed with a little bit of water to smear on the other's faces in Songkran Day. I was smeared badly.

We took a hot bath immediately after we got home because it was so cold to sit in air-conditioned car when we were wet. I found out that everyone was burnt. Dan was the worst one because I could see his tan (burn) line clearly.


"Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, kiss it make it better, sweetie"
User Journal

Journal: $500 to Drop Your Towel 2

Journal by Chira

A woman is just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rings. Her husband, heading to the shower himself, asks her to see who's at the door, so she wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands her next-door neighbor, Rob. Before she can say a word, Rob says, "I'll give you $500 to drop that towel you have on."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel. He looks for a few seconds, hands her $500, and leaves with a big smile on his face.

Excited about her earnings, the woman puts the towel back on and runs upstairs. Her husband yells out from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Rob from next door," she replies.

"Great," the husband says. "Did he say anything about the $500 dollars he owes me?"

User Journal

Journal: The Man Who Didn't See His Wife

Journal by Chira
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.


When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night,he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.


Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him,
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.


But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his right eye.
User Journal

Journal: What is Marketing?

Journal by Chira

You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

  - That's Direct Marketing.

  You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
  One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says,
"She's fantastic in bed."

  - That's Advertising.

  You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

  - That's Telemarketing.

  You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You get up and straighten your dress.
You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing yourself slightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

  - That's Public Relations.

  You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed."

  - That's Brand Recognition.

  You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You talk him into going home with your friend.

  - That's a Sales Rep.

  Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

  - That's Tech Support.

  You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing.
So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

  - That's Spam.

User Journal

Journal: Zits... 3

Journal by Chira
I really hate these things. My skin is real fine just a little bit dry. I do have zits sometimes but only on my nose. I could get use to these zits if they could be easily poped. Well, I can't. It bothers me very much. When I have zits on a nose that doesn't have holes for those things to come out. You know, they will be little black spots and stay under my skin forever. It's annoying. So, I make holes myself and transform my nose into a master peice of patchwork.
User Journal

Journal: It's difficult to understand, eh? 2

Journal by Chira
Well, some of my duties are about import and export. Yesterday, I had time to take a look at all the files. I found out that there were lots of files and documents in each file were messed up. I thought that it would be very difficult to find something important (when you were in a hurry) from that kind of mess. I asked my boss for permission to re-organize everything. Of course, he allowed me. So, I spent all day long to separate the files. Firstly, I separated them into two sections, import and export. Then, in each section, I separated them by company's name. Finally, I decided to divide into two sub-files, one was for things that were already done and another one was for things that were in the process. After I finished the task, I told my boss to take a look. Can you guess what he said to me? He told me to re-organize again. He said that I made my life difficult and I should put the finished and unfinished documents together (by this I mean 'mix them up') because it would be much easier to find.
Really? I just cannot understand this bullshit. It didn't make sense to me at all.

Furthermore, he told me that spreadsheet made my life difficult, as well, when I used the sum function to get the result and I should try to make my life simple by using a calculator to add 768 numbers. This didn't make sense to me, either.

Bad boss... Bad boss... what you gonna do?
What you gonna do when I yell at you.
User Journal

Journal: Do You Know Jack Schitt? 1

Journal by Chira

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; "You don't know Jack Schitt."

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
They produced four children named Dip Schitt, Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, and Giva Schitt.

However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and since her kids were living with her she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of Noe's four children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt- Happens wedding.
The Schitt-Happens had four children named Dawg, Byrd, Hoarse, and Bull.

Bull left home to tour the world and returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

So, now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.

This family history was recorded by Crock O. Schitt.

User Journal

Journal: Weird Facts 10

Journal by Chira
From Funny of the Day
  • American car horns beep in the tone of F.
  • The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
  • Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
  • Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
  • The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
  • Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
  • The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
  • Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
  • Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
  • The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces.
    "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
  • No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
  • 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
  • Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
  • A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight.
  • The albatross drinks sea water. It has a special desalinization apparatus that strains out and excretes all excess salt.
  • In Clarendon, Texas, there is reportedly a law on the books that lawyers must accept eggs, chickens, or other produce, as well as money, as payment of legal fees.
  • Cats purr at 26 cycles per second, the same as an idling diesel engine.
  • A dragonfly flaps its wings 20 to 40 times a second, bees and houseflies 200 times, some mosquitoes 600 times, and a tiny gnat 1,000 times.
  • Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
  • Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
  • The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
  • The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways.The following sentence contains them all:
    "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
  • Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."
  • The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
  • Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.
  • All porcupines float in water.
  • Cat's urine glows under a black light.
  • Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
  • When opossums are playing 'possum', they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror
  • A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."
    A group of frogs is called an army.
    A group of rhinos is called a crash.
    A group of kangaroos is called a mob
    A group of whales is called a pod.
    A group of ravens is called a murder.
    A group of officers is called a mess.
    A group of larks is called an exaltation.
    A group of owls is called a parliament.
  • Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since. [It floats in gasoline, too.]
  • If you could count the number of times a cricket chirps in one minute, divide by 2, add 9 and divide by 2 again, you would have the correct temperature in Celsius degrees.
  • During the Civil War, Robert E. Lee was offered command of the Union Army before he accepted his post with the Confederacy.
  • Margaret Higgins Sanger, the birth-control pioneer, was one of eleven children.
  • There are more than 15,000 different varieties of rice.
  • When a man died in ancient Egypt, the females in his family would smear their heads and faces with mud and wander through the city beating themselves and tearing off their clothes.
  • Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
User Journal

Journal: What are the meaning of ... 8

Journal by Chira

Voila!

Bon!

Meh!
(Correction: This was not the word that my boss used. I found out later that he used the word 'Ben').

My boss loves to say these words to me but I don't know anything about French.

By the way, I really miss slashdot. I am to tired to write, though.
User Journal

Journal: Cups and Cakes 1

Journal by Chira
Cups and cakes. Cups and cakes. I'm so full my tummy aches

WTF? Why is the icon for "Cookies" in Konqueror a cake? I await your answer...

*Morpheus Vioce* What is a cookie? How do you define a cookie? If it is simply what you can see, taste, and smell, then it is only electrical signals... Or maybe they are tasty-wheat cakes...
User Journal

Journal: My Bloody Finger 2

Journal by Chira
As dictated to Daengbo

I cut my finger today. I was at work, cutting out the "Lucky Draw" for the Chinese New Year promotion, and the box-cutter jumped over the ruler and cut my index finger rather badly. There was blood everywhere. I sauntered over to the pharmacist, and she put some betadine and a small bandage on it.

It kept bleeding, though, and my boss looked at me like I was about to pass out and then made me buy alcohol, anti-bacterial cream, and cotton pads. He cleaned it then bandaged it up for me again.

I was so dazed the whole time. I just stared at my own blood and felt nothing. Then Thirayudh told me that he would show me a way to use exacto knives without cutting myself. He was laughing at me the whole time. Nice guy!

So, my compensation package just went up to salary + transportation + lunch + medical supplies.

Oh, yeah... My boss is buying me a cell phone tomorrow. I just sit at my desk. Why do I need a cell phone? He must want more work out of me...Voila!

The Universe is populated by stable things. -- Richard Dawkins

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