Here's how to handle the car warranty:
Them: Hello, sir, you're vehicle warranty has expired. How many miles are on your [insert car here]?
Me: A million and a half.
Them: Oh, okay...
Me: Give me a warranty, I just totalled that bitch.
Them: Have a nice day, sir.
Me: Hey, you fuck, I want a warranty. How am I supposed to afford a new car?
Usually they just hang up as soon as you give them that kind of mileage, but you get the hang of it. They won't call back for about 6-8 months.