Slashdot

Attitude
by Charles Swindoll

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important that the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company . . . a church . . . a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past . . . we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude . . . I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you . . . we are in charge of our Attitudes.

> Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a
> Doberman pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As
> they sauntered down the street, the one with the
> Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that
> bar and get something to drink."
> The one with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in
> there. We've got dogs with us."
> The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead."
> They walked over to the bar and the one with the

> Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to
> walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Lady, no pets allowed."
> The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't
> understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."
> The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?"
> The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're
> very good."
> The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
> The lady with the Chihuahua figured convincing him a
> Chihuahua was a seeing eye dog may be too far fetched,but thought "what
the
> heck", so she put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
> Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets
> allowed."
> The one with the Chihuahua said, "You don't
> understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."
> The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
> The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They
> gave me a freaking Chihuahua???!!"

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.

The title to the property dated back to 1803, wich took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years
covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property
area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good
queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ,the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of
origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.

I hope the hell you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved!