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Journal: why in the hell does love have to be this way?

Journal by BoneFlower

so I fall completely in love with a friend of mine. Cute, open minded, got common ground but with enough differences to keep it interesting, shes smart, funny... all that...

problem is she's also a drug addict, a whole bunch of issues picked up when she got into E, which made her want more e, which distracted her from dealing with things, and so on... shes a mess. in no shape for a romantic relationship, at all, it would just cause her more problems at this point in her life that she doesn't need right now.

So, my feelings being so incredibly strong are pushing, railing at me to do something and try to move the relationship beyond friendship. But those same feelings, the deep love I feel for her is also demanding I hold back on that, give her support as a friend, but hold back on the romance to avoid pressuring her and distracting her from dealing with everything. I know the right thing is to hold my distance romantically until she's ready(which will, at the least, be several months), but its just incredibly hard to hold it in... the worst is trying to do "cutesy" things to cheer her up a bit... things that would be innocent and sweet in a platonic relationship, while thats what it is, she knows how I really feel(if I hadn't told her, I'd never feel comfortable around her, she'd pick up on that and it would have caused even more problems) so I'm really scared that doing such things, even if it might help give her a quick emotional lift, could be misinterpreted as pressure for a romance. hell, I'm scared a bit of myself- how am I to be sure if its meant as a sweet cutesy thing to lift her spirits or my desire for the promotion to BF that is in charge when I do that?

I just hope I can keep the feelings in check, and hold onto them long enough to have a chance when she's recovered... and I also hope I don't pass up a better opportunity(I don't see how there could be a better opportunity, but it could happen maybe I guess) while waiting for her to be ready...

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal: Funny story

Journal by BoneFlower

Disclaimer- The below is parody. Not serious. None of this ever actually happened, nor is it meant to suggest how the individuals mentioned would actually behave in real life. And to those of you who need a disclaimer like this to put the below into a proper context, where were you when they handed out brains?

Press Release: Linux and *BSD to merge

Linus Torvalds and the heads of the *BSDs have announced a code merge.

From Linus "The new LSD operating system has the unique ability to directly interface with your mind, and customize itself to your own thought patterns. Don't like the CLI? Use a FPEI[Fluffy Pink Elephant Interface] instead."

VisionTek is the first hardware vendor to sign onto the project. CEO Frank Taylor announced:
"We have developed a new multimedia technology based on our experience building cards based on the legendary GeForce GPUs. This display technology is especially good at 'glowy' things, far superior than any other technology. In a nod to our line of GeForce implementations, but singnaling the new technology, we are calling this new multimedia architecture 'Ecstacy'. In combination with the new LSD operating system, you will truly see the world as you never have seen it before. In addition to the enhanced visual experience, it also drastically enhances music, especially electronic types... where did my pacifier go?"

Editors note: Shortly after this press release armed DEA agents were seen hauling off Mr Torvalds and Mr Taylor to an undisclosed location. It is not known if theses events are connected.

User Journal

Journal: my weblog

Journal by BoneFlower
Go here! my blog Various topics, focusing on IT and gaming(non computer) and modeling. And you can buy stuff. For those curious, the server is a RedHat box I think(linux something I'm sure) running apache, the cgi is available at Moveable Type. ITs reasonably easy to set up and really easy to maintain the blog... and easy to customize.

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